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Socializing in a safe but also tricky environment
So maybe this isn't the right place for this or maybe it is. 

I have a place where I go to seek treatment for my mental health issues. It's pretty spacious and a few people are sociable. I really don't think I have good chances with most neurotypical women due to how much it effects my ability to work and my life experiences for the last 20 years.

So I thought maybe I'd try to talk to some women there in the large waiting room and if we got familiar over time, maybe see if I could talk to them on the phone or maybe something on the web that's less personal. The bad part is if I come off the wrong way it could be very bad. But I'm so shy I don't see this happening. Some people have boundary issues. I invent boundaries that may not exist yet.

There was one woman, and I was concerned at first she may be too young. I'm 37 and I was hoping she was at least 28. She looked really young at the distance I saw her at first, far away, older as I was a little closer. Sometimes I really can't guess age that well. My group leader is less than a year younger than me and I thought she could be 28 or younger.

BTW I'm not some kind of perv that likes younger women. It's just that most of the women there either seem like that or much older than me.

Anway, I didn't hit on her or anything, (which is a really good thing)

But I sat one seat away and it went something like this.

Me: How are you doing?

Her: Good, you?

Me: I'm doing good.


Me: So have you seen any good movies or tv shows lately? (I may have been talking a little fast)

Her: Uh, not really. (her voice got kind of deeper not in a good way, I think things were slightly awkward there)


Me: It's been nice talking to you.

Her: You too.    (her voice got kind of higher, and kind of I don't know nice, like maybe she felt some sympathy for how awkward I was, as a guess)

I could say more but the rest is also so what happened after I got up and waited for my ride outside.

Thing is I have so much trouble talking to people I don't know that it may be the first time I've talked to a woman I don't know like this for years.

It sounds like nothing to anybody else, I suppose.

So, do you think I should try something like this again? Or was it a bad idea given the circumstances? Thing is, it's like, I don't see how this gets the result I'm looking for. I don't know how this ever goes farther then a mutual "How ya doin'?" "Good"

But maybe at least I can become a little less awkward which is still a good result.
Of course you should keep trying. Maybe not so much to get something out of it, but simply because it's nice to talk to people. Given the place you were, it could possibly help them too.
I talk to people pretty much everywhere...unless I'm in an "I HATE PEOPLE" mood, which is usually about a 50/50 helps keep me grounded and involved and helps them by showing them that they are there, that they deserve to be talked to, or even that I'm just an annoying bitch that talks to random strangers wherever she goes. Toungue

Also, you keep talking about how your disability prevents you from a lot of shit. They are all just excuses, for the most part. I don't know how you are disabled, but it doesn't really matter You can work, you can do pretty much everything. Some things might be harder and might be different than other people, but chances are, it can be done. Think outside the box.
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You're probably right. I think I can probably work, just not full time. When I was working at good will on kind of a temp basis (I don't count it as working, they couldn't fire me really, it was for vocational rehabilitation, I got paid like .75/hr) I tried like 40 hours a week and it made me a little crazy. I don't mean just a little stressed out. I mean really stressed out.
Well I think you're bloody amazing for having the balls to do that. If I try anything like that my hands shake violently and it really puts people off. And I'm just talking about regular conversation with both men and women. Trying to get a date would be even worse! I've been wondering if maybe I should just keep my hands in my pockets.

Practice makes perfect. Have you got where you are? I mean obviously you can access the website but are there meetups in your area?

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