Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Am I immature for harboring resentment?
#11
Maybe you connect it with a larger pattern of feeling ostracized or treated unfairly.
Reply
#12
That makes sense. I do recognize that friendship cannot be forced, and that everybody has a certain 'type' - I myself have met people who I would have no interest in hanging out with because they were either dull or too hyper. But I've always felt that people don't give me a chance - people see the hearing aids and the scrawny 'boy' image, and automatically shun me instead of taking the time to see me for who I am.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Reply
#13
You can't change who you are. And you can't change how people react to you. I'm sorry that you have such a tough time with people in your personal life. From what I read of you on here, you seem like a well rounded and decent individual.

As mentioned by Callie, it's not healthy. What has it taught you? Some people have no decency. But I bet she isn't fixated on her decision to cut contact. So why are you feeling it for the both of you? You deserve to move on with your life, and rent that brain space out to things that are actually positive for you.

I have never done a meetup. I don't even know if there's groups available in my area, and I certainly don't have the courage to create my own. Could this be an opportunity for you to organize your own? Even if only a handful of people came out, it would allow you to be more specific for what you are looking for?

Something I do believe in, is if a person is taking themselves out into the public, it should be to somewhere that makes them comfortable and a place they enjoy being. Where is somewhere that you enjoy being? Is there anywhere that you go, where you forget about your health issues? If you don't have a place like this, I would really encourage you to start exploring. Just go somewhere, check out the sights and don't worry about who is around. Easier said than done, I know.
"You are as you are until you are not"

[Image: CooperativeWigglyArieltoucan-max-1mb.gif]
Reply
#14
Immature? No. Resentment is a natural feeling when one feels betrayed or ostracized. That being said, and this is to be taken with reserve...its just a whatsapp group. It's not as if your sister slapped you at the face during a family dinner. Some people on the internet can for great friendships, even love, but...there IS a difference. The internet is not necessarily a reflection of real life unless you've met and spent time with the persons.

Bit of context. I was raised in the 80s and 90s. Pre internet. It started around the time I was in college to really get off (hehe, web based chatrooms like The Park Smile ). But at the same time, we had a very clear view of the thing which I feel people are loosing and younger people will not know; it was designed as a tool to facilitate connecting with distant people, as well as entertainment. It was NOT designed to spend even a part of your life on it. When I read things about "online identities" where people react as if someone had actually stolen their homes, or push younger kids to suicidal thoughts...that scares me. Again, its a wonderful tool, but its not LIFE. In fact, you can live it exclusively without. Which I try to do as much as I can.

Anyway, all that to say that, its not like it's THAT important. In the sense you should try not to get too worked up and resentful towards people who don't really know you, or didnt care to.
Reply
#15
Some very valid points from both of you. Smile

AmyTheTempermental, I would have to say that my 'place' is the lake near our house. I do enjoy walks around it - it's secluded (mostly) and peaceful. Gets a bit cold when there's a breeze in the autumn and winter - but in the spring, and definitely in the summer, it's a great place to be.

Smile
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Reply
#16
Nah, you're in the clear...provided it was legitimately met as platonic friendship that is.

The unfortunate fact of the matter is that MOST people have ulterior motives for using social networking platforms and the general rule of thumb is: It isn't an awkward thing, unless you make it an awkward thing.

I think that in all actuality probably very few people actually properly use social networking sites and sites like MeetUp under their actual original and proper context: To make platonic friendships with like-minded individuals. See, humans are instinctual creatures and as such they unfortunately will like a cancer spread. What I'm getting at here is: That which starts out totally innocent and at often times a genuinely good idea, eventually becomes a fucked up and corrupted thing...particularly when it involves a person and/or an organization/s ego/finances/reputation.

So, no: You're not immature for harboring resentment against a website that started out under the interest of harboring local communities together and unfortunately ended up becoming a breeding grounds for sexual predators and ceepers. Because how the fuck could you have known that without this such of an experience otherwise showing you what it has so become??

The answer is: You couldn't.

Nobody can hold you at fault for not knowing what you don't know. And if somebody ever does, find me, talk to me, and I'll hold them at fault for a whole Hell of a lot of things that they don't know and see how they like it for you.

Life is a cruel and fucked up thing, it just is what it is and that's why it is that way. The best you can really do is to try not to be a jackass unless you're very specifically and clearly provoked to be as such. Basically the way I look at things is: i'm a peaceful pacifist, unless forced into conflict...and if I'm going to be forced into conflict, I will make those forcing their conflict upon me into the peaceful pacifist that I myself have so become by the means in which I as became as I am...Except that, I know that I survived that because I am me...and unfortunately for them, that is not up for me to decide, it is up for them to decide. I run my life like a doomsday clock, that's why I'm in better control of it. All that it costs me is my sanity and every connection to this world that I have outside of what's literally at my fingertips.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
Reply
#17
Interesting post. Cool avatar photo, by the way.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Immature? Peaches 10 1,470 01-03-2015, 04:50 PM
Last Post: PenDragon
  Immature Felix 12 1,529 05-20-2012, 12:59 PM
Last Post: Ak5

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)