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I want to disappear
#1
I am feeling really scared. All weekend I was dealing with extreme self hatred and low self worth. It has gotten so bad today that I am having urges to self harm and have suicidal ideations. Things have pushed me over the edge today. I can't do this anymore. I am 31, and all my life I was rejected, never had much of a social life or friends, never had a gf. I am tired of feeling so isolated, alone, unwanted, worthless, like a piece of shit. I feel so inferior, so small, and insignificant, and it has gotten to the point where I don't want to do this anymore. Every single day the self hatred. I'm tired of feeling worthless, unloved and not cared about. I just want to disappear, everyone hates me, I hate myself, I don't want to be here anymore.  
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#2
(06-10-2019, 12:30 PM)lilE Wrote: I am feeling really scared. All weekend I was dealing with extreme self hatred and low self worth. It has gotten so bad today that I am having urges to self harm and have suicidal ideations. Things have pushed me over the edge today. I can't do this anymore. I am 31, and all my life I was rejected, never had much of a social life or friends, never had a gf. I am tired of feeling so isolated, alone, unwanted, worthless, like a piece of shit. I feel so inferior, so small, and insignificant, and it has gotten to the point where I don't want to do this anymore. Every single day the self hatred. I'm tired of feeling worthless, unloved and not cared about. I just want to disappear, everyone hates me, I hate myself, I don't want to be here anymore.  

It sucks to be in this state. I don't think any stupid words of encouragement is helpful but if you need someone to listen, hit me up.
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#3
I can relate. I never had a b/f and i'm  isolated. I have suicidal thoughts often and always want to disappear.

[Image: th?id=OIP.gj-fs-iZjBArzx90omh6xAHaHa&pid=Api&rs=1&p=0]
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#4
Seek out relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.

Recognize what you are good at.
Set yourself a goal.
Achieving your goal will help to increase your self-esteem.
Psychological therapies like counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy can help.

Do it NOW !

“Lost time is never found again.” -   Benjamin Franklin
 
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#5
I know this feeling oh so well. Most days I feel like this myself. The only thing that really keeps me around is my little girl. Find things you used to like that made you happy and try doing it. I know its hard and I know that it takes ALOT of strength. And no words i say will actually give you that strength. But,Its in you i promise. I don't feel anything like i used to. I had more weight on me before the stress hit me to hard. I dont have friends. I don't go anywhere. Some days I swear my bed is my bestfriend. Just hang in there. Whether we feel alone or not there is always someone who loves us and would kill them if we wernt here anymore. Keep your head up find something that brings you joy and immerse yourself in it.
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#6
Thanks everyone. I am on meds and go to therapy twice a week. And I am still unstable, I am still a basket case. Been doing this for over ten years. It is hopeless. I am beyond help.
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