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Winner or loser or something different
#1
Trumps winner and loser genes...has he got a point or is it more complicated.

I've always been a loser but a modicum of luck and the fact that i've bottom fed off family and the wealthy in my job has kept yours trully on track in some respects.

But now i'm nearly fifty its obvious i'll never be a winner but i've adapted from being a loser to a survivor i think.

How about you?Do you think its in your genes how your life will pan out?
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#2
yes and no.  i would say that it is not something in your gene's per say but instead quality of life is greatly determined by one's genetic make up.  along with physical & mental health, being attractive is by far the best indicator of potential in life-especially but not limited to when it comes to relationships.  in fact, when it comes to most things which are greatly valued by the vast majority of society, i don't care one way or the other about being a loser or a winner. for me, it is only the complete lack of romantic connection along with the knowledge that it is so unattainable which causes such great angst & suffering.
"The most violent weapon on Earth is the table fork." - Mahatma Gandhi


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#3
I agree that good genes can help us in life with better physical, mental, and emotional attributes, and these attributes can positively affect our relationships, careers, and social lives.  It's also seemingly unfair but true that being born and raised in a good environment versus a bad one generally offers one a better chance in life for economic success, peace, and prosperity.  But, I don't believe that genes nor circumstances necessarily dictate our paths in life or determine our success or failure.  Look at the many rich, famous, attractive, seemingly successful people in life, like Whitney Houston for one, that struggle through life to the point of eventual suicide.  At the same time, you read, hear, and see the stories of poor, plain, simple folks leading a satisfying life of purpose and satisfaction. Clearly, there's something more important governing the success and happiness of our lives than the genes we're born with or the environmental circumstances we're raised in. For Americans at least, who generally aren't struggling daily with war, famine, disease, and life threatening hardships, and where the standard of living is better than 6000 years of generations behind us, I think one's success in life is determined significantly by the choices we make.  No doubt, the many decisions we make in life affect our health, relationships, careers, and social circumstances, and these are all factors affecting the overall feeling of success or failure with our lives.


Just Games, your pondering of life at age 50 and assessment of whether you've been successful with it is a good thing.  It shows maturity that many shallow people never acquire.  However, I would not settle for the conclusion you've drawn - being only a survivor.  While it may be too late to redo one's past career, relationships, or social affairs, that needn't prevent you from doing different and better in the future with  the things that matter most in life. You've plenty of time yet, hopefully, to make your life count - to obtain some sense of purposeful meaning and success with it.

Of course there's many different definitions of what success in life is.  And as someone who's enjoyed an extraordinary career, many good friends and relationships, and an adventurous outdoor life of fun, trips, and adventures, I won't deny that such blessings have given me much satisfaction and feelings of success in certain ways.  But, I know now, as I get older and more mature myself, that many of these worldly experiences are not the measuring standard for success in life - certainly not the number of places I've been, sports and activities I've pursued, or career and finance goals I've achieved. As King Solomon said long ago, in the end these things don't matter. They're all pointless.

As a Christian, I know that we were all created for a purpose, and Jesus clearly tells us that the most important thing in life is to know and love the LORD, and the second is to love others.  This is a life long affair to pursue and some discover the truth later than others. The critical thing though is to get on board, making this the center of one's life.  Since our eternal souls are at stake by the choices we make in this short, temporary life, I'd suggest that the formula for success in this life is to be a Christian. That's the path that'll lead one best through this life AND to the next, better one that lies ahead. 
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#4
(07-08-2019, 02:30 AM)Sir Joseph Wrote: I agree that good genes can help us in life with better physical, mental, and emotional attributes, and these attributes can positively affect our relationships, careers, and social lives.  It's also seemingly unfair but true that being born and raised in a good environment versus a bad one generally offers one a better chance in life for economic success, peace, and prosperity.  But, I don't believe that genes nor circumstances necessarily dictate our paths in life or determine our success or failure.  Look at the many rich, famous, attractive, seemingly successful people in life, like Whitney Houston for one, that struggle through life to the point of eventual suicide.  At the same time, you read, hear, and see the stories of poor, plain, simple folks leading a satisfying life of purpose and satisfaction. Clearly, there's something more important governing the success and happiness of our lives than the genes we're born with or the environmental circumstances we're raised in. For Americans at least, who generally aren't struggling daily with war, famine, disease, and life threatening hardships, and where the standard of living is better than 6000 years of generations behind us, I think one's success in life is determined significantly by the choices we make.  No doubt, the many decisions we make in life affect our health, relationships, careers, and social circumstances, and these are all factors affecting the overall feeling of success or failure with our lives.


Just Games, your pondering of life at age 50 and assessment of whether you've been successful with it is a good thing.  It shows maturity that many shallow people never acquire.  However, I would not settle for the conclusion you've drawn - being only a survivor.  While it may be too late to redo one's past career, relationships, or social affairs, that needn't prevent you from doing different and better in the future with  the things that matter most in life. You've plenty of time yet, hopefully, to make your life count - to obtain some sense of purposeful meaning and success with it.

Of course there's many different definitions of what success in life is.  And as someone who's enjoyed an extraordinary career, many good friends and relationships, and an adventurous outdoor life of fun, trips, and adventures, I won't deny that such blessings have given me much satisfaction and feelings of success in certain ways.  But, I know now, as I get older and more mature myself, that many of these worldly experiences are not the measuring standard for success in life - certainly not the number of places I've been, sports and activities I've pursued, or career and finance goals I've achieved. As King Solomon said long ago, in the end these things don't matter. They're all pointless.

As a Christian, I know that we were all created for a purpose, and Jesus clearly tells us that the most important thing in life is to know and love the LORD, and the second is to love others.  This is a life long affair to pursue and some discover the truth later than others. The critical thing though is to get on board, making this the center of one's life.  Since our eternal souls are at stake by the choices we make in this short, temporary life, I'd suggest that the formula for success in this life is to be a Christian. That's the path that'll lead one best through this life AND to the next, better one that lies ahead. 

Thanks Sir Joseph your post has really  made me think and thanks so much for that.I'm not really happy about putting my thoughts down in full because my lack of education and anxiety issues has always held me back in life and sorry i'm not strong enough to change that now.I just think my genes ,and i'm not one for the blame game i promise you , have just so shaped my life because i'm so simalar to my parents and grandparents in so many ways both because of genes and the environment i was brought up in which has had such a strong effect on my life too.

I've got so many regrets in life about the promise in sports i showed when younger but being weak willed didnt capatalize on.But mostly i'm positive in outlook so manage to block them out and try to do the best that i can with the time that i've got left.I'm trying to be a good father to my kids and they all seem to be doing so well pushing through with their lifes defeating obstacles in their path so thats great to see.Anyway i get really nervous writing here because so many intelligent people like your good self are reading this and thinking dimwit lol so i'm going to fade away and give in to my social anxiety Smile.

Can i ask please you seem to have had such a fulfilling life can i ask what sort of enviroment you were brought up in and whether you were simalar to either of your parents?
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#5
I believe epigenetics plays a large role in our lives. Environment affects our gene expression, and we tend to be molded continuously because of this.
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#6
I don't believe it's in the genes or anything like that. You can only blame your family for so much. In the end, in my opinion, it's about what you do with your life.
Personally, I don't think anyone is a loser and "winner" is a matter of perspective. I haven't done a lot with my life. I don't have a fancy career, I'm not rich, I don't have a partner, I don't travel a lot. Honestly, my life is nothing like I wanted it to be. Yet, I'm content with my life. So I'd call that "winning."
Would I like to change some aspects of my life? Sure, of course I would, but I'm the only one that can do that and I'm working to make those changes.
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#7
Just Games, your communication anxiety reminds me a bit of my Dad who hardly ever writes, claiming that he has nothing interesting to say.  And yet, the few good emails I've had from him were full of interesting and humorous things going on in his life.  I recognize that he's just anti-social, preferring to be alone rather than socialize with people.  But, it's a choice and preference on his part, not a result of his intellectual or communicative abilities, which ironically are quite good.  The point for you is that your communication anxieties may not be warranted. Especially here, essentially as an anonymous person, you can relax more and feel no pressure to cause such anxiety.  So don't go hibernate - not if you want to change or improve yourself.  People and communication are usually part of the formula for a good path in life.

To address your question, I was raised out in the country in a nice, safe environment, with a large middle income family and no serious hardships - all giving me a simple, fun childhood. But, I had no love and continue to this day to have a family that doesn't know or care anything about me.  It's a ridiculous, unnecessary, sad situation, worsened by the fact that I never married or had my own family and children.  Thus, a life of no love and loneliness.  I didn't find out that both of my parents were atheists and liberals until my mid 40's.  And when they found out that I was a Christian conservative, they really got angry.  Dad got so red faced furious that Mom recorded the incident (for evidence); the next day, peace was only achieved by my agreeing to never discuss religion or politics with them again.  Such is the case with all of my family - no discussing anything controversial or important in life is allowed.  But, this is only part of the story.

Though my Dad rejected all faith, thanks to a Catholic upbringing, he was kind enough to introduce me to a good, small, Christian congregational church nearby.  He thought I should have the right to decide such issues for myself, and my Mom thought that it would teach me some good moral values - like respecting and obeying your parents. At that church, I had a good Sunday school teacher that quickly made a Christian out of me, and I believe that that conversion led me to a great and better life of not following in my parents' atheistic, unloving footsteps. I thank my father immensely for raising me and sending me to college, but I thank the LORD for the wonderful career and life that followed.  While my lack of love and family relationships has certainly shaped some of my personality, it has not been the primary driving factor.  I contribute that to my faith and the guidance that the LORD has provided. I just wish I'd realized this sooner and taken it more seriously. At 60+, I'm just now beginning to appreciate the true meaning and purpose of life, and it's prompted my own life changes.
     
So back to you JustGames. I'm sure you've been shaped and molded somewhat by your upbringing and continuing relationships.  But, you've had time and opportunity to adjust your beliefs, values, and relationships according to your own thinking rather than others.  While it may seem too late to change your personality, I'd maintain that it's not too late to reassess your values and beliefs.  And these values and beliefs affect your relationships and parts of your personality.  It sounds like you're doing well with your kids, but you're seeking more.  I'm listening.
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#8
Just Games
I cant believe you have any serious issues.
1. you are too humble
2. you write and express yourself so well

You should be giving us guidance, not the other way round.
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