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I can't forget it
#1
Everything I did for someone, my loyalty, my time, my respect, my love; it’s like it meant nothing, like it doesn’t matter, never happened. I was always real and I was never on any bullshit. But none of it mattered, none of it was appreciated. What gets me the most is how I feel that everything was deleted, erased, and how expendable I was, and now feeling like I am being forgotten and everything I did is forgotten. I may have never even existed. Being easily replaced by someone else. Was I just needed, was it all lies, manipulations, and gassing my head up, none of it was true….

I am tired of this happening with everyone that comes into my life. Being rejected, being used, being played with, being lied to. I am not a trusting person, but when I put my trust into someone I think is worth it, I open up to them, make myself vulnerable, make myself available and am there for them, someone to rely on and believe in; only to have them abandon me for no reason; just because. It is person after person until I am left with nobody. No friends, no one to confide in, no support system, nobody that cares or shows affection. All my life things have been this way, never had any friends, never been in relationships, never had a social life. I feel like I am going to ultimately be isolated from everyone and have no one in my life, and not by choice. Ostracized by society. Can I sustain being a loner involuntarily, to not have friends or family, to not matter to anyone, not make a difference in anyone’s life. I won’t last that long. I can’t sustain living like this. But I have no choice it seems at this point. I don’t think I am going to make it. 

I feel so worthless. A piece of shit. No value. Insignificant. Scum. Inferior. Rejected. Hated…I’m tired.  
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#2
Sucks being hurt and having trust broken. I'm sorry that you are going through this. Trusting and opening up to someone is risky business. Most of the time it ends up in being a fleeting relationship or with hurt.
All of this makes you stronger if you let it. ❤ 
Fight to keep yourself as you and look forward. Hopefully you find someone that stays. 
That's all my positive bs out of the way. 😁

Wish there was a fool proof for keeping that hurt away but I guess none of it would mean anything if it wasn't harder to get.
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#3
deleted
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#4
(10-28-2019, 05:01 PM)lilE Wrote: Everything I did for someone, my loyalty, my time, my respect, my love; it’s like it meant nothing, like it doesn’t matter, never happened. I was always real and I was never on any bullshit. But none of it mattered, none of it was appreciated. What gets me the most is how I feel that everything was deleted, erased, and how expendable I was, and now feeling like I am being forgotten and everything I did is forgotten. I may have never even existed. Being easily replaced by someone else. Was I just needed, was it all lies, manipulations, and gassing my head up, none of it was true….

I am tired of this happening with everyone that comes into my life. Being rejected, being used, being played with, being lied to. I am not a trusting person, but when I put my trust into someone I think is worth it, I open up to them, make myself vulnerable, make myself available and am there for them, someone to rely on and believe in; only to have them abandon me for no reason; just because. It is person after person until I am left with nobody. No friends, no one to confide in, no support system, nobody that cares or shows affection. All my life things have been this way, never had any friends, never been in relationships, never had a social life. I feel like I am going to ultimately be isolated from everyone and have no one in my life, and not by choice. Ostracized by society. Can I sustain being a loner involuntarily, to not have friends or family, to not matter to anyone, not make a difference in anyone’s life. I won’t last that long. I can’t sustain living like this. But I have no choice it seems at this point. I don’t think I am going to make it. 

I feel so worthless. A piece of shit. No value. Insignificant. Scum. Inferior. Rejected. Hated…I’m tired.  

the people you mention might had narcissist traits is a user
must be me right?  Cool

[Image: giphy.gif]
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#5
Yeah, that's probably the saddest realisation you learn in life(at least the worst not related to death)
after all your time, love, dedication and so, is nothing, they just find someone else and move on
I experienced that since early teenage when I wasted years trying to get a girl and neve make it just to see how some random guy achieved my 4 years goal in one party by 15 minutes of chatting
Life is kinda like that, only the present matters, not the past, not yor intentions, so, I guess the lesson is, live the present, dont make up plans for your future with somebody else, value your time and actions a little more, and understand other people is doing the same thing
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#6
So sorry for how you feel Sad
I wish I can say something useful, but unfortunately this is the way life is for some of us.
Sometimes this can motivate us to self improvement at least to prove to ourselves we ARE wroth something.
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#7
As far as i traveled online I've seen Hispánic ppl aren't Open to shed their life online as many guys have done elsewhere but what I read or checked on cheating hurts ... I wasn't a real cheater! 

These days I'm old and poor as a church mouse, so I can be "happy" trying to help others achieve their goals. That doesn't mean I'm kind, loving or mean. I'm simply another brick who could be hurt ir disdained and, If I wanted joy, I will not pay what I lacked from the beginning. Jer 17:5
I'll be all I want to be!
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#8
This sounds very much like the feelings many people go through after a break up from a relationship, and it can be common with friendships and other forms of interaction.

The key thing to remember here is to keep your head held high. You've taken someone at face value, done the things you felt were your duty, etc etc. It seems as though you've only done good things, and that's something to be proud of above any of the consequences. If you've done all that and a person shrugs it off in the way you describe, then you are better off for being away from that person now. People can be very strange, but it doesn't mean that you have to blame yourself or ascribe those characteristics to everyone else. Give yourself a pat on the back, dust yourself off and keep looking for people who are worth you.

All the very best to you.
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