Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
New and looking for connection
#1
Hey all,

New to the group.  Married for 15 years, and I’ve never felt more lonely in my entire life.  I used to to be so good at connecting with people.  I always had tons of friends and was always involved in so many different activities.  I married a person who hates and judges everyone around her.  It took me years to realize that it is because deep down, she hates herself and therefore can’t truly love anyone, including me.  I’ve spent 15 years trying to “fix” her not realizing that I basically cut off everyone and everything else that was ever important to me.  Any time I’ve tried to do anything for myself, my own growth or enjoyment, I’ve been made to feel selfish or a bad husband/dad.  

We have 2 kids, and I have no friends.  We‘ve always lived far from my family, so I’ve never really had much of a support system.  For the first time I’m actually starting to realize (admit?) that I am an actual person with needs and feelings.  I just miss human connection, in any/all forms.  Thanks for listening.  I appreciate the openness and genuine nature of this community.
Reply
#2
Hi Tangledupinblue welcome to the forum.

Simalar thing happened to me a couple of years ago before I joined the forum but it only involved one mate he was my main  link to a group I mixed with ,my wife didn't like him ,didn't want me to socialise with him but I'm back with them now so .......Anyway last couple of months I've discovered lots of new interests some involving my son so in a way it has worked out well not getting stuck in a habit of doing the same old with friends of 25 years, there is a world of stuff to do outside I've discovered lol.

How about you could you meet people through clubs your kids are involved in ,fellow parents maybe.Follow some interests solo to your wife and let her opinions on them just be opinions and just do them anyway Big Grin   maybe that old spark will return , abscene makes the heart grow fonder and all that Wink

Good luck mate hope others will be along soon with more solutions.
Reply
#3
your wife sounds like my narcissists so sorry.

welcome to this forum.
must be me right?  Cool

Reply
#4
You need to find a life separate from your wife. It's a vital part of any healthy relationship. You have to have an outlet, a place of your own in life. You can't just revolve your world around your partner. Yes, you realize that now, but you have to be willing to follow through with getting it.
She will likely fight you at every turn, but if she can't accept that, you need to seriously consider if being with her is what's best for everyone, including yourself. I don't know how old your kids are, but staying together for them is rarely, if ever, best for the kids.

Good luck and welcome to the forum.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 
[Image: 17vcow.jpg]
Reply
#5
(12-29-2019, 03:48 PM)TangledUpInBlue Wrote: Hey all,

New to the group.  Married for 15 years, and I’ve never felt more lonely in my entire life.  I used to to be so good at connecting with people.  I always had tons of friends and was always involved in so many different activities.  I married a person who hates and judges everyone around her.  It took me years to realize that it is because deep down, she hates herself and therefore can’t truly love anyone, including me.  I’ve spent 15 years trying to “fix” her not realizing that I basically cut off everyone and everything else that was ever important to me.  Any time I’ve tried to do anything for myself, my own growth or enjoyment, I’ve been made to feel selfish or a bad husband/dad.  

We have 2 kids, and I have no friends.  We‘ve always lived far from my family, so I’ve never really had much of a support system.  For the first time I’m actually starting to realize (admit?) that I am an actual person with needs and feelings.  I just miss human connection, in any/all forms.  Thanks for listening.  I appreciate the openness and genuine nature of this community.

I hope you will find the kind of connection you are looking for.
Reply
#6
Sadly I agree with the narcissism..I have experienced narcissistic abuse..not pretty..they do hate themselves and project it all on you ..I was one of the lucky ones, just dated him off and on for 2 years and then left totally almost a year ago..and I am still not totally healed...please get some help for you.....they drain you and destroy you.
Reply
#7
(12-29-2019, 03:48 PM)TangledUpInBlue Wrote: Hey all,

New to the group.  Married for 15 years, and I’ve never felt more lonely in my entire life.  I used to to be so good at connecting with people.  I always had tons of friends and was always involved in so many different activities.  I married a person who hates and judges everyone around her.  It took me years to realize that it is because deep down, she hates herself and therefore can’t truly love anyone, including me.  I’ve spent 15 years trying to “fix” her not realizing that I basically cut off everyone and everything else that was ever important to me.  Any time I’ve tried to do anything for myself, my own growth or enjoyment, I’ve been made to feel selfish or a bad husband/dad.  

We have 2 kids, and I have no friends.  We‘ve always lived far from my family, so I’ve never really had much of a support system.  For the first time I’m actually starting to realize (admit?) that I am an actual person with needs and feelings.  I just miss human connection, in any/all forms.  Thanks for listening.  I appreciate the openness and genuine nature of this community.

Welcome to this forum. I am sure you can make some good connections here.
Reply
#8
Hello. My story is very similar to yours. Welcome to forum.. If you would like to chat, drop me a message. Hope you find the friends you need on here.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Greetings! Yet another Newbie here, hoping to make a connection. XehanortXIII 5 1,392 02-29-2020, 02:13 AM
Last Post: I'm Fine
  Irish Guy 50 Married but lost. Looking for connection. Rua 10 2,182 02-06-2020, 02:06 AM
Last Post: Rua

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)