Lonely Surrounded by Friends

I’ve been holding myself back from posting here for a while because it seems really dumb, but it’s been weighing on me for a while now and I need to let it out. 

I’m a big extrovert, I have lots of friends, I’m the social chair for a very active sports team. And I’m so goddamn lonely all the time, even in the middle of parties at my house surrounded by all my friends, I still feel detached. It’s really important for me to try to help everyone feel included and make sure nobody else feels like I do, but I don’t know if I can keep it up forever. I’ve been drinking more and more and being so goofy and reckless. 

I just don’t know how to explain to my friends because I love them so much but there’s something in me that doesn’t work right. And I feel like I’ve put myself into this position as the social center of our whole extended crew that now so many people rely on me to be that positive fun good time person. I want to be that. I guess I’m good at it. But I’m so lonely.

Cant really relate to being surrounded by those that care, but I can relate to being lonely in a crowd. I usually am around people a lot, I just feel like I have trouble connecting with others because it feels like everyone around me is putting up a front. I had friends growing up that I thought would last forever, but now they ignore my messages/any attempt to contact them. There's no easy answer, or at least none that I'm aware of.

Do you feel like you are able to rely on them the way they rely on you?
 Are you being your true self around them? Revealing your good and bad sides?

Sucks to feel down.
Hug coming your way

Renard said:

I’m a big extrovert, I have lots of friends, I’m the social chair for a very active sports team. And I’m so goddamn lonely all the time, even in the middle of parties at my house surrounded by all my friends, I still feel detached. It’s really important for me to try to help everyone feel included and make sure nobody else feels like I do, but I don’t know if I can keep it up forever.

Click to expand...

Big extrovert. Lots of friends. I don’t want to sound unsympathetic because I really am not. If something is bothering you then it is nothing to make light of. But I’ll tell you what. You take my life for 72 hours and I promise you that you won’t be an extrovert and you won’t have a lot of friends. Chances are you will go back to what you have right now in a flash.

Renard said:

I just don’t know how to explain to my friends because I love them so much but there’s something in me that doesn’t work right. And I feel like I’ve put myself into this position as the social center of our whole extended crew that now so many people rely on me to be that positive fun good time person. I want to be that. I guess I’m good at it. But I’m so lonely.

Click to expand...

Try this out. Pick out one or two of your friends that you are particularly close to or feel you can trust. Tell them how you feel and how it is bothering you. I will bet any amount of money they will not have realized what you are going through and then they will do anything to help you out so you feel a lot better about yourself.

Best of luck to you and I hope everything works out.

There are many kinds of loneliness, and some you experience even when you have friends and close relationships. 

Maybe you can try reflecting on yourself, what is it that is missing in your life...do you feel like your life doesn't have a clear purpose? Or are you having difficulty seeing the significance or meaning behind certain goals/pursuits? Or do you feel like even though you have friends, that you don't have a deep bond with them? 

Perhaps this article might help "Types of Loneliness"

Hope you feel better soon.