Can't seem to fill this void...

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Estreen

Estreen

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It's 7:30 in the morning...I haven't slept at all....and I just feel that hole, gaping and wide, in the center of me.

I don't know anything....I can't think of really ANYTHING that would actually make me happy right now...anything to satisfy this hole in my being. Suicide *almost* sounds reasonable, but in actuality I am too scared to die, so I am stuck in my own little purgatory right now.

I don't know what I want...with just about everything in my life. Sometimes I think it's just needing more people around me, but...right now I can't really think of anyone that I'd care to have around...I'm just confusing myself more and more...and I'm not sure if I'll ever figure myself out, sometimes.

Right now I'm (physically) alone, lonely, and crying. Think I might just try to settle for crying myself to sleep. I think that's about all I've got right now...
 
I'm sorry you feel that way Estreen.

Yeah..sometimes i feel like a walking donut...nothing of this
earth could never possibly fill it.
 
Estreen said:
It's 7:30 in the morning...I haven't slept at all....and I just feel that hole, gaping and wide, in the center of me.

I don't know anything....I can't think of really ANYTHING that would actually make me happy right now...anything to satisfy this hole in my being. Suicide *almost* sounds reasonable, but in actuality I am too scared to die, so I am stuck in my own little purgatory right now.

I don't know what I want...with just about everything in my life. Sometimes I think it's just needing more people around me, but...right now I can't really think of anyone that I'd care to have around...I'm just confusing myself more and more...and I'm not sure if I'll ever figure myself out, sometimes.

Right now I'm (physically) alone, lonely, and crying. Think I might just try to settle for crying myself to sleep. I think that's about all I've got right now...
Click to expand...

This is how i feel most days. But its time to get scared when you feel you're not afraid to die anymore, because that will only lead to one thing when you feel like this.

I found it helps to do something you may be passionate about. Computer games, reading, and researching local history has always helped me to take my mind off things.

I hope you feel better soon :)

All the best
 
Thank you all for the kind words. I'm feeling better after finally having gotten some sleep. There are just times like that where I feel hopeless.
 
I often feel like that too. I wish I could say something that would help. Anyways, if you ever need someone talk to that understands, you know where to find me. :)
 
I just got used to feeling that way. Embracing nihilism ftw.

Frankly, I was raised alone, I live alone, so why fear the easiest part, croaking solo?

Wow, that probably did nothing to help. At least you got some shut eye.
 
I'm alone and have been left to myself for pretty much my whole life...you'd think that I'd be used to it by now, really.
 
You dont have to take what i say seriously :D
But i just use my punchbag, not to just get anger out but sadness too.
It makes me forget what im feeling, odd i know but it works for me.
I also sleep like a baby afterwards (after a shower ofcourse) :p
 
Estreen said:
I'm alone and have been left to myself for pretty much my whole life...you'd think that I'd be used to it by now, really.
Click to expand...

YOu never get used to it, at least not so far. You can however, adapt.

Or do what I do, distract yourself enough to not focus on it.
 
Unacceptance said:
Estreen said:
I'm alone and have been left to myself for pretty much my whole life...you'd think that I'd be used to it by now, really.
Click to expand...

YOu never get used to it, at least not so far. You can however, adapt.

Or do what I do, distract yourself enough to not focus on it.
Click to expand...

That is good, and works up until the point where I lose interest in everything that normally entertains me. It's very rare, but like how I was earlier, I just get into a state in which nothing (literally) can appease me in that moment, and I'm left to just sit there and try to wait it out. Most normal depression and loneliness, for me, can usually be alleviated by a good TV program, movie, game, book, or something or other though. But in that instance, sleep was the best damned thing I could get.
 

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