So another one of my internet friends has entered into a'real life' relationship
- Thread starter CAS
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
youre shooting where its been, not where its going. ive been there. it sucks. i wouldnt want to be a girl and have to date men... thats why i dont want to hear my friends talk about it. specially when were both single... and im a guy... and shes a girl... i say end it all. focus on women that will accept you otherwise dont get to close to the others. theyre like hooks. no matter how appealing the bait is, youre going to get stabbed, strung along, and die or lose a part of yourself. dont isolate though. some contact is good and healthy. just dont get attached.
Super Rodent
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h i said:
Okay, so I completely disagree with a lot of this. One thing i do agree on is about keeping a social relationship. It's okay to put yourself out there. You should always have some type of barrier about you though. Don't buy so much into internet relationships, because at some point it is going to lose its spark. Internet relationships can really crush people who are really and truly into it. Some people are doing it because it is exciting and there is no real attachment. They can click the box away if they dont want to hear something. There is no interaction. At some point you are going to feel lonelier if you put too much of yourself into these online dates. It is okay to become attached to someone, you just have to understand the situation, and know exactly how much of yourself that you can put into the relationship. You should really focus on making new friends that are real, or at least starting there. Looking for love up front will leave you feeling empty. Embrace and appreciate the relationships you have, while seeking new friendships. Be open, yet guard yourself when appropriate. Don't give up. The game is just getting started. Welcome to world 1-1 all over again. You can do it!
It happens man. In fact I can almost guarantee you that an online relationship would end this way. If you are simply looking for company online (and I really think that's all you should do), than make yourself aware early on you may never even meet this person. Look at this social exchange as two people providing company for each other. I'll admit even I have one or two people like that.
That's one beautiful thing about online encounters. You may not know a single thing about each other, and be on opposite sides of the world, yet it seems that is exactly why you can trust someone like that so much. You'll never feel like you're being judged, or that there are things to lose or gain. Unfortunately though it'll almost never move any further than this.
It's not easy to get yourself into a 'real life' relationship so to speak. However it is what comes after simply talking to another person. If you met this person online because they to had little confidence in themselves, than you should be happy. You may have given someone what they needed to finally take a step forward. You can do the same, but you really have to want to.
That's one beautiful thing about online encounters. You may not know a single thing about each other, and be on opposite sides of the world, yet it seems that is exactly why you can trust someone like that so much. You'll never feel like you're being judged, or that there are things to lose or gain. Unfortunately though it'll almost never move any further than this.
It's not easy to get yourself into a 'real life' relationship so to speak. However it is what comes after simply talking to another person. If you met this person online because they to had little confidence in themselves, than you should be happy. You may have given someone what they needed to finally take a step forward. You can do the same, but you really have to want to.
C
Coverage
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Super Rodent said:
Super Rodent, I agree with 100% of what you have said. I couldn't have put it any better myself. Online dating certainly has the potential to work out but I think too many people turn to online dating as an easier relationship alternative to physical dating, when it really isnt any easier at all. One always has to be open to other alternatives, and I think even people who are online dating should always be open to real life relationships opportunities, because those are the relationships that last the test of time and lead to greater satisfaction.
That is why online partners are almost always so egar to meet each other in person, because its that physical interaction that they truly crave. Online communication can be a good starting point, but in my opinion a starting point is where it should end.
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
I guess my first question, in a geographic sense, how close to her were you? If you are not to far how come you cannot see her in real life?
I do not want to say what everyone else is saying. About how it happens, that is the one sting of the net. You can meet someone wonderful who is 1000 miles away. You should try And find someone close by. That way you can become her real relationship.
My final thought, just because she is no longer single does not mean she still cannot be your friend. I have a friend who found someone got knocked up and married. We still talk... not as much but we do.
I do not want to say what everyone else is saying. About how it happens, that is the one sting of the net. You can meet someone wonderful who is 1000 miles away. You should try And find someone close by. That way you can become her real relationship.
My final thought, just because she is no longer single does not mean she still cannot be your friend. I have a friend who found someone got knocked up and married. We still talk... not as much but we do.
Agreed be happy for her and yourself. You had a positive influence in her life.jbates said:
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SophiaGrace
Guest
Coverage said:Super Rodent said:
Try telling this to Sanal & Ocean, or Airbug & Jales. (the latter two met on ALL and then married in real life.)
Proof that what I say is true: http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=8484
nerdygirl
Well-known member
Every relationship can lose its spark if both partners are not making a sincere effort. It doesn't really matter how people communicate, as long as they do it!
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shells
Guest
Super Rodent said:
My boyfriend and I met over the internet, and then in person. We have spent two wonderful years together.
CAS said:
Well, maybe you could try not to look at all of your online friends as potential 'options'? Just enjoy their company and support them, like friends off the internet would do.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
shells said:
Good advice.
----Steve
