RNT
Member
This is my first thread here on this board so let me introduce myself, Im an 18 year old male and English is not my native language so please bear with me.
I want to make this thread cause lately i have not been feeling to well. To be fair I never really felt real happiness in my life. I have always been very shy and anti social.
in elementary and high school I was always that silent boy with no friends but atleast i got my diploma's. I felt despressed during those years but when I went to college I really felt terrible. ofcourse i was the lonely guy again nobody talked to me So i had to make contact with them, But in my class there were like 13 girls and only 2 boys. Seeing how shy I was towards the other gender and the other 2 boys were not. I was the outcast again.
I skipped classes because I hated it, Eventually the school contacted my parents and they were really dissapointed with me. I felt like honeysuckle, seeing how my sister did so well and I did horrible only made me depressed more.
i did 2 other colleges but it was the same situation there too. I did not found it interesting and people were still shitty towards me. I got into a circle where I kept skipping classes and sometimes stayed home for weeks without contacting school or telling my parents. Eventually they found out again.
Now I don't got school anymore. Im staying in the house all the time but I feel like a waste to my parents and completely useless. I got a parttime job that brings in a little money but most of the money i have to give to my parents. as rent so to speak. i feel so embarresed about myself when I am near my parents that's why most of the time i stay in my room. Im such a failure.
I never had a girlfriend or any real friends for that matter. i got 2 people who come by sometimes but If it was'nt for my parents knowing their parents I never should had met them. They are very social and outgoing. and are actually achieving something in their live with school. While i am sitting here doing nothing. Every day feels like a waste and a copy of the day before. most of the time i just stay in my room.
I'm only 18 now but I feel like i wasted my entire life. and that I have no future whatsoever.
Just wanted to post this feel free to reply.
I want to make this thread cause lately i have not been feeling to well. To be fair I never really felt real happiness in my life. I have always been very shy and anti social.
in elementary and high school I was always that silent boy with no friends but atleast i got my diploma's. I felt despressed during those years but when I went to college I really felt terrible. ofcourse i was the lonely guy again nobody talked to me So i had to make contact with them, But in my class there were like 13 girls and only 2 boys. Seeing how shy I was towards the other gender and the other 2 boys were not. I was the outcast again.
I skipped classes because I hated it, Eventually the school contacted my parents and they were really dissapointed with me. I felt like honeysuckle, seeing how my sister did so well and I did horrible only made me depressed more.
i did 2 other colleges but it was the same situation there too. I did not found it interesting and people were still shitty towards me. I got into a circle where I kept skipping classes and sometimes stayed home for weeks without contacting school or telling my parents. Eventually they found out again.
Now I don't got school anymore. Im staying in the house all the time but I feel like a waste to my parents and completely useless. I got a parttime job that brings in a little money but most of the money i have to give to my parents. as rent so to speak. i feel so embarresed about myself when I am near my parents that's why most of the time i stay in my room. Im such a failure.
I never had a girlfriend or any real friends for that matter. i got 2 people who come by sometimes but If it was'nt for my parents knowing their parents I never should had met them. They are very social and outgoing. and are actually achieving something in their live with school. While i am sitting here doing nothing. Every day feels like a waste and a copy of the day before. most of the time i just stay in my room.
I'm only 18 now but I feel like i wasted my entire life. and that I have no future whatsoever.
Just wanted to post this feel free to reply.