18 year old failure.

[RNT]

This is my first thread here on this board so let me introduce myself, Im an 18 year old male and English is not my native language so please bear with me.

I want to make this thread cause lately i have not been feeling to well. To be fair I never really felt real happiness in my life. I have always been very shy and anti social.

in elementary and high school I was always that silent boy with no friends but atleast i got my diploma's. I felt despressed during those years but when I went to college I really felt terrible. ofcourse i was the lonely guy again nobody talked to me So i had to make contact with them, But in my class there were like 13 girls and only 2 boys. Seeing how shy I was towards the other gender and the other 2 boys were not. I was the outcast again.

I skipped classes because I hated it, Eventually the school contacted my parents and they were really dissapointed with me. I felt like honeysuckle, seeing how my sister did so well and I did horrible only made me depressed more.

i did 2 other colleges but it was the same situation there too. I did not found it interesting and people were still shitty towards me. I got into a circle where I kept skipping classes and sometimes stayed home for weeks without contacting school or telling my parents. Eventually they found out again.

Now I don't got school anymore. Im staying in the house all the time but I feel like a waste to my parents and completely useless. I got a parttime job that brings in a little money but most of the money i have to give to my parents. as rent so to speak. i feel so embarresed about myself when I am near my parents that's why most of the time i stay in my room. Im such a failure.

I never had a girlfriend or any real friends for that matter. i got 2 people who come by sometimes but If it was'nt for my parents knowing their parents I never should had met them. They are very social and outgoing. and are actually achieving something in their live with school. While i am sitting here doing nothing. Every day feels like a waste and a copy of the day before. most of the time i just stay in my room.

I'm only 18 now but I feel like i wasted my entire life. and that I have no future whatsoever.

Just wanted to post this feel free to reply.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You're only 18 you have NOT wasted your entire life yet so stop thinking like that. You still have so much ahead of you. Have you tried talking to your parents or your friends, they just might be able to help you? But you have to stop feeling like a failure, you're just beginning to live your life at your age, so you are going to fail, that is just how it is. Sometimes things come easier to people and comparing yourself to them is not healthy so stop that too. You are at that age and point in your life where you are really truly discovering who you are and what you want from life, it's not easy but don't let it get you down.

Welcome to the forums, you've come to the right place and hopefully you find what you need. There are some great people here and we're all going through similar feelings.

 

[RNT]

Thank you for your reply, I hope i will have a great time here.

And your right about not comparing myself to other people but its just very hard. It seems that most people at my age go out every weekend have girl/boy friends and have a great social life. i feel left out.

I know I must learn to look behind that but it sure is hard.

 

[Sean]

Ahh yeah, i'm in a very similar situation as you.
Only differences is that I have anxiety . . .

18 . . not in university . . no girlfriend . . very few real friends . . all other old friends/aquaintances are doing stuff . . that makes me even more depressed . . .


You'll figure your life out, it's not the end of the world.
I duno, i've just kinda kept positive by realizing that i'm only 18 . . .
Not a big deal if I just get a full/part time job, until I figure out what I wanna study in university, or feel like I can handle the stress/pressure.

 

[Ian Haines]

There is no such thing as an 18 years old failure!

You're an apprentice at success, at 18!

 

[AFrozenSoul]

This college you attended, was it a local college? How far away from your home were you? I am trying to make major changes to my social patterns as well. However, I only feel like I can really do that when I am very far away from my home. Which is why I want to move away.

I wish I could help you more. All I can say is you need to get annoyed with this feeling. Become tired of always being outcasted. That is what happened to me. You say you feel like you are a failure, direct the anger at what you did wrong and find motivation to fix those things.

 

[Phantom]

I understand what you mean by that. I feel as if I was alone my whole life and think I have friends but I don't hear from them. I too sometimes feel like I'm useless but I still go to school because I haven't given up on life even though there were times when I wanted to. My encouragement to you is don't give up! I don't know how but things will get better if you take life one step at a time. Hope this helps

 

[Bluebird]

You are certainly not a failure at 18 - you are still very young! If you think about the overall picture of everything you want to accomplish, yet haven't, it's extremely easy to become overwhelmed and feel that way. Just focus on one thing at a time. Involve yourself in something that you find interesting, and you may come to meet people that share the same passion as you.

One piece of advice, though - don't get too comfortable. When you finally accomplish something you've been working towards, don't give up on striving for everything else. It makes it all that more difficult to come out of your comfort zone when you get older. At least, from my own experience.

 

[RNT]

Thank you all for the replies, It helps alot

 

[Bluey]

You're an apprentice at success, at 18!

I like

 

[Tigershark]

I relate completely to feeling like a failure. It's a scary feeling, man. I don't think that's what we're scared of, though. We're afraid to take those chances, we're afraid that we can never be anything but a failure. That's not true, though. All it takes it a little motivation. You have to believe in yourself, & the only way to do that is to take some chances. Do things that make you uncomfortable. You can't expect to never fail at anything, but the more things you try, the greater chance you have of gaining some success.

 

[Lonely.Pianist]

Why would you be a failure? Because you're different? Because you're shy? You're so not a failure. You're just different. There are some real nice people out there. I know how it is to be anti social. I used to be way more shy than I was, but I managed to overcome it a little and I've made some friends. Plus, like some said here, your life is just starting. You still have so much time to meet new people and to do things that make you happy. =D I really hope things will turn out good for you!

 

[Lonely in London]

Am a 20 year old from England and i can totally understand your pain, because my life is exactly like yours. I dont think i have spoken to a female for over a year. I have no friends at all, i spend most of my life at home and in complete misery.

Basically am replying to say that i understand your pain and your not the only one thats suffering.

Good luck, were both going to need it if were going to eventually have a happy life.

 

[Lonely_girl]

Im 28 and know just how you feel. I get alot of problems because Im quiet and a good person, that really goes against me in jobs. Iam 28 longest I been in a job is 6 months, every job I had all my life has been problems with managers and people at work not keeping me on or not likeing me because I come across as mellow and calm, kind of quiet. So getting to this age now and still the same problem my confidence is knocked down even more. Lost all motivation in anything and its starting to make me feel anger and bitter inside towards people cause of how horrible I been treated all my life. Iam so fed up of people having issues of me being quiet, but I cant change that about me no matter what

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Im 28 and know just how you feel. I get alot of problems because Im quiet and a good person, that really goes against me in jobs. Iam 28 longest I been in a job is 6 months, every job I had all my life has been problems with managers and people at work not keeping me on or not likeing me because I come across as mellow and calm, kind of quiet. So getting to this age now and still the same problem my confidence is knocked down even more. Lost all motivation in anything and its starting to make me feel anger and bitter inside towards people cause of how horrible I been treated all my life. Iam so fed up of people having issues of me being quiet, but I cant change that about me no matter what

 

[user 8014]

I know how you feel, I'm 27 from England and I am pretty much the male version of Lonely_girl, except the longest I've held a job is 4 years but other than that everything else fits. My few close friends are all either married or are in relationships that are getting serious, which sucks because I hardly see them anymore.

I also think it sucks that society puts pressure on us to have achieved certain things by certain ages like losing your virginity, having a career, a nice house, a fancy car and things like that and makes you feel like a loser if you don't have or haven't done these things.

One thing that may help you feel better is to find a hobby of some kind, it can be anything from making airfix models, painting, drawing or anything you like really. It will help clear your mind of negative thoughts make you feel productive too.

Anyway like the others have said, you're not alone in this.

Take it easy and best of luck

 

[SophiaGrace]

The good thing about virginity though is that no one can tell if you've lost it or not by looking at you.

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But, seriously, for the main poster, dude, you definately suffer from depression. You need help with it, a psychologist, medications and SUPPORT in order to live a functional life.

Nothing to be ashamed of, you just need a bit of help.