3 times now i have been invited to hang out...

[edgecrusher]

by this cute girl and her friend at work. this girl is kind of new, only been there for a few months. why is it that these are the people that want me to come hang out? not that they are like bad people or anything but these people are kind of significantly younger than me. they are the "party" type people who drink often and smoke pot. i am just for whatever reason very uncomfortable around pot. i dont even know why i just am. im sure her friend will ask me again why i never come to hang out. im wondering if i should just say fresia it and go do it anyway even though i will probably be very uncomfortable the whole time and just sit there all quiet.

 

[Jicky]

Edgecrusher-go for it-how will you know how it will trun out otherwise. Nothing ventured-nothing gained. Anything worth while is worth taking a chance even if it doesn't work out. Good luck.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

I wouldn't say you should worry about people smoking pot as much as people drinking. Have you ever heard about anyone getting high and beating their wife? No. Probably not. That and with drinking there's the whole puking thing and alcohol poisoning... Pot is only bad if you get caught with it. You would be the only person at the party that's stone sober. What's the harm?
But if you find out that underage kids are drinking, GTFO buddy, because it sounds like you're of legal drinking age. You can get in trouble for that honeysuckle.
And for more social party advice from an infrequent party goer: Walk in, talk to a few people, and get the gist of their personalities. If you meet someone interesting, stay and talk to them. (duh.) If nobody seems particularly interesting, casually slip out. They wont notice you left, because they're probably all drunk jerk-offs anyway....

 

[JamaisVu]

I'd just go and see how it turns out. It's pretty common for coworkers to want to hang out together, even if there's an age difference. They sound like they're just very social and trying to be friendly. If you're worried they'll ask you to smoke pot, a simple "No thanks, I don't smoke" should work.

I don't like parties much either, and I'm pretty quiet. At worst it's just a little awkward or boring. If you end up feeling uncomfortable, you aren't obligated to keep going out with them and it's easy enough to slip away early.

 

[Brian]

As someone who is also sober, I will echo your sentiment that being at parties with people drinking or smoking or otherwise suffering from an altered mental status is very uncomfortable.

I suggest not going. They don't really sound worth hanging around unless you're wanting in their pants.

 

[csmswhs]

i kinda have a similar problem. i often work with people younger than me who invite me out with them. i have went a couple times with people and it wasn't so bad. but aside from getting along with them i felt i really couldn't relate closely and couldn't see wasting too much time with people i don't connect with. that wasn't even because of the age difference.

but the age thing got to me a little too. a 19 year old invited me many times to get togethers, and i didn't want to be rude or all age-bias or whatever, but i totally didn't feel confortable being 34 standing around a bonfire with 18, 19, and early 20 year olds.

we got along otherwise at work and had a few laughs, that was good enough for me.

on the other hand, i don't relate to the people my age and older either.

i belong nowhere.

i think there have been only 2-3 people i could really say i related to or connected with, and only one that was what i would say close to fully. and something got in the way of that too.

so what i'm trying to say is that your not alone.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wow edgecrusher we could be twins if I didn't already have one. My bosses son used to invite me to his parties and I would always decline, mostly because I knew there would be drinking and most of them were underage. Like SkuzzieMuff said you don't want to get involved in that, you could get in trouble. Even now that he's older, I think he just turned 25 I still don't go because most of the people are 10 years my junior and I'm not a drinker and I'm not comfortable around that. I know for a fact because he's admitted it that some of his friends are pot smokers too and that makes me uncomfortable as well. I'd be like you, all quiet and not talking to anyone since (in the words of Austin Powers) its not my bag.

Depending on how old your co-workers are, either they think your a cool guy and just want to hang out with you or need you to buy them alcohol.

csmswhs I share your pain, I get along better with people younger than me as well, I'm a big kid, I'd rather talk about Smallville then complain about the government and taxes.

 

[edgecrusher]

thanks for the replies guys. its weird because i actually have no real problem with people smoking pot, i really dont get why its illegal. but for some reason me personally am uncomfortable around it. its always been like that and i dont even know why. i feel like i wouldnt really connect with them all that much. the girl that i work with is actually pretty cool and despite the company she keeps she tends to like movies that are different that most other people dont like, just like me. shes pretty laid back and im sure would be pretty cool to hang out with. her friend on the other hand, is the obnoxious drunk type. i dont know, im sure it will come up at some point.

---

I'm a big kid, I'd rather talk about Smallville then complain about the government and taxes.

this is very much how i am too. if you get me talking about something geeky then you might not be able to shut me up, lol.

 

[alonewanderer]

Just go for it, if you don't accept at least once eventually they'll stop inviting you....then afterwards you can always drop the convenient " Aww I see you at work too much already, I need some Edge time. "

 

[Punisher]

Go, unless you want to wait for someone just like you to ask you to hang out, which will most probably never happen.

Stop being so picky, and GOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

[Mr. Sir]

Sounds like your love-shy.

I'd love to have a pothead girlfriend.

All the girls who have ever been interested in me have been either...

A) Full of extreme psycological issues and emotional baggage...
B) Drug addicts or alcoholics
C) A combination of both.

 

[zombieslayer]

I don't like parties and stuff either (never been to one aside from a birthday party when I was 8).

Yeah, I don't get why pot is illegal, yet I don't feel comfortable around it. I've never had drugs. Never had a drink in my life aside from Communion wine. Yet I hang out with the "bad" kids around school. They understand how I feel uncomfortable with partying and "drugs", not because I think it's evil, but because it's just not my cup of tea.

It's okay to uncomfortable with things and still hang out with people that like them. If they're you're real friends, they'll respect that you do whatever you want.

Go and if you don't like it, don't stay. Better than just saying "what if" your whole life.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Go and if you don't like it, don't stay. Better than just saying "what if" your whole life.

This is so true, I do that a lot and need to stop.

Go edge, next time they ask you just do it!

 

[zombieslayer]

Go and if you don't like it, don't stay. Better than just saying "what if" your whole life.

This is so true, I do that a lot and need to stop.

Me too, actually. I need to take my own advice...lest I be a hypocrite.

 

[IDunKnow]

I would tell you to go. If you're afraid of being bothered to do any marijuana and don't feel as though you could say "no" or you might cave into peer pressure, then.. eh.. don't? This is hard, you're here on a lonely forum, so I'm making the assumption that you're lonely like I am and many if not everyone here is. So some small sacrifices should be made for you to meet people. I would say you should go with them, in the worst case scenario it just becomes practice. Takes away any fears you may or may not have when meeting and hanging out with people, making it a little easier for you down the line. Puts you in a situation you normally wouldn't be able to set yourself up for, being forced out of your comfort zone is a good thing if you're having trouble meeting people. If the drug is a big factor, pot isn't so serious, if it is brought up to you. Just kindly tell them you're not into it.

 

[edgecrusher]

I would tell you to go. If you're afraid of being bothered to do any marijuana and don't feel as though you could say "no" or you might cave into peer pressure, then.. eh.. don't?

this is something i dont have to worry about. i have no desire to smoke anything because its just gross to me. i know i wont give in and try it.

Go and if you don't like it, don't stay. Better than just saying "what if" your whole life.

this is something that i have really noticed over the past year or 2. i have this bad problem of doing just that. this is part of what keeps me up at night. my mind constantly wonders about "what ifs" and i cant help but think about them.

i just cant stand being in that type of uncomfortable social situation. if it was people that i really knew well then it would be one thing. but i wont really know anyone there.

 

[misa]

everyone seems to think you should go. maybe she wants to hook up with you and this is her invitation. i mean she's asked you to hang out three times.

idk. you don't seem to want to go. you don't enjoy weed and that's fair. if you are uncomfortable you can just leave.