Hi Santosh. I'm getting used to this forum myself having just joined last week, but it seems to me it helps people to know each other and for threads to stay organized if new people post a new thread in the
new members forum.
I say this because I was a little confused from your post that did not seem to follow from this original thread, where the last post was November 1st. Two people also replied after your post, but in response to the original thread, because they probably saw the date you posted, but read and replied to the original without actually reading yours.
Anyway, that being said, I really wanted to reply to your post because you clearly sound so terribly lonely and sad.
santosh said:
i am totally shattered
i just cant say any thing to her
i just scared to make friendship with girl
I was touched by your post. I am someone who is also 26 years old, feeling terrified of talking to people. In conquering the terror, I would recommend to you and to anyone to dedicate yourself to regular meditation. A few minutes a day, to breathe deep and to reconnect with your deepest soul, has the potential to change your heart if you are open to it.
In my search for inner peace, I found it critical to remind myself of the wonderful truth that I somehow am always aware of 'subconsciously'. If I don't take the time to remind myself of the great truth, the more distracting things of day to day life can easily mask it from having the positive influence it should in my life.
In more concrete words, I think you should see for yourself that it is not natural to look at other people in happy relationships and expect that the same thing should automatically appear for you simply because you want it. Even though it may seem easy for others, that is an illusion that you have assumed based on what you see superficially. All truly intimate relationships grow over long time, and any one who says otherwise is wrong or is talking of another matter not involving true intimacy. In fact, the very terror that may prevent you talking to girls may have it's root in the fact that you are being extremely hard on yourself to expect a girl should marry you before you are both ready for it.
It is natural that when you sense a soul connection with a girl you might want to get to know, your impatience may tempt you to feel upset that it will take a long time to discover your intimacy together. But the surest path to the heart of the girl you love is
resisting the temptation to be forceful or desperate, or anything else
that stops you from being the man that deserves her love. If you want to help a woman to marry you, I think you have to show her she has no reason to doubt that you will be happy together. I believe every one of us can connect with our true soul mates, but only when we have the power to rise over the fear and do what it takes to express your true love and deep respect to the special person, in a way they understand.
Thus I recommend meditation every day to help you return to your true stable path, and ease more smoothly over the ups and downs that come into your life all the time.
For me, I need to remind myself how I am connected to every person that will ever live, and also that no matter what, as long as I breathe, I am perfectly safe. I need to remember that so I can feel safe really seeing and listening to others, even though I don't know what they will say, and even if it takes a long time to really understand them and feel sure they in turn see me and listen to me.
Remember your connection with the earth and reflect on your connection with the cosmic order. I think it will help you to be more relaxed, and confident, and know the right things to say when talking to girls.
A key to good conversation is keep it simple: talk about her, and about the place where you are, and about yourself. The words to tell her are already in your soul, you simply have to remember the way to listen deep down. People insult comments like this when they don't have the courage and dedication to pursue their own true path, so I hope you do not let the doubters get in the way of you finding true love and happiness.
I send you an infinite 'future hug' that will always be there on your journey.