Hello everyone,
where to begin? My name's James, at the moment I live in Holland (studying anthropology) and that's probably how I ended up here.
I don't like moaning (I tend to do that) and I guess I am a pretty positive and even socially skilled person, but, like the title indicates: I am a lone wolf. And these days it's getting out of hand. It runs in the family though, so I doubt there's much I can do about it. On the other hand: I study anthropology and one of our favourite subjects is the whole nature/ nurture thing, and when I look at my family it's sort of our default attitude: being lonely is what I've learned to be.
I've always been like this and I find it hard to meet people I can really call my friends, the friends I've got are just like me: lonely, on their own a lot, well, you get the picture... it's a lonely world out there, to me at least.
Loneliness can occur because of a lot of different reasons, in my case I guess it has little to do with autism or social phobia. I am not scared of people, I do know how to act accordingly, but I have one problem (I wouldn't call it a problem, but for the sake of argument): I am- according to my friends and even the occasional stranger -a very sensitive person. I never considered myself sensitive but it actually makes sense now I've thought about it. Going out, seeing lots of people et cetera is a very tiring experience for me. I am not really effeminate, but I do notice this trait (being sensitive) really sets me apart from my 'normal' (especially guy) friends (I have those too): it's like seeing way too much, which can be quite useful, yet I haven't figured out how to deal with it accordingly. When I am in some place, I often feel completely overwhelmed, there's too much input.
I have to deal with this 'problem' of mine, and it is because of a friend I met at my university that I've been confronted with my loneliness and the way in which it 'disturbs' my life/ opinion of myself. Especially when it comes to opening up, having a fulfilling relationship or go out (occasionally). I do that too of course, but I should probably do it more often
I also think way too much, which isn't good. Beyond that though, I am usually well-liked, appreciated and apparently pleasant to talk to (good listener, though I can be very talkative). I think I am socially skilled because there are a lot of people who like to invite me to their parties and they really confide in me. It's just that I am not really interested (in most of them) in their friendship, maybe because I am a little scared of the more intimate stuff, sharing and the like.
It's my personal goal to at least have a decent, social conversation once a week, with someone I appreciate. And maybe start with the whole dating thing, because a girlfriend would help a lot in killing my bad, old habit: being lonely.
I'd also like to point out that- yes -I sound like a book, but that's because I am not a native speaker (English). Just so you guys know, that's why
Looking forward to talk to some fellow lone wolves!
Cheers,
James
where to begin? My name's James, at the moment I live in Holland (studying anthropology) and that's probably how I ended up here.
I don't like moaning (I tend to do that) and I guess I am a pretty positive and even socially skilled person, but, like the title indicates: I am a lone wolf. And these days it's getting out of hand. It runs in the family though, so I doubt there's much I can do about it. On the other hand: I study anthropology and one of our favourite subjects is the whole nature/ nurture thing, and when I look at my family it's sort of our default attitude: being lonely is what I've learned to be.
I've always been like this and I find it hard to meet people I can really call my friends, the friends I've got are just like me: lonely, on their own a lot, well, you get the picture... it's a lonely world out there, to me at least.
Loneliness can occur because of a lot of different reasons, in my case I guess it has little to do with autism or social phobia. I am not scared of people, I do know how to act accordingly, but I have one problem (I wouldn't call it a problem, but for the sake of argument): I am- according to my friends and even the occasional stranger -a very sensitive person. I never considered myself sensitive but it actually makes sense now I've thought about it. Going out, seeing lots of people et cetera is a very tiring experience for me. I am not really effeminate, but I do notice this trait (being sensitive) really sets me apart from my 'normal' (especially guy) friends (I have those too): it's like seeing way too much, which can be quite useful, yet I haven't figured out how to deal with it accordingly. When I am in some place, I often feel completely overwhelmed, there's too much input.
I have to deal with this 'problem' of mine, and it is because of a friend I met at my university that I've been confronted with my loneliness and the way in which it 'disturbs' my life/ opinion of myself. Especially when it comes to opening up, having a fulfilling relationship or go out (occasionally). I do that too of course, but I should probably do it more often
I also think way too much, which isn't good. Beyond that though, I am usually well-liked, appreciated and apparently pleasant to talk to (good listener, though I can be very talkative). I think I am socially skilled because there are a lot of people who like to invite me to their parties and they really confide in me. It's just that I am not really interested (in most of them) in their friendship, maybe because I am a little scared of the more intimate stuff, sharing and the like.
It's my personal goal to at least have a decent, social conversation once a week, with someone I appreciate. And maybe start with the whole dating thing, because a girlfriend would help a lot in killing my bad, old habit: being lonely.
I'd also like to point out that- yes -I sound like a book, but that's because I am not a native speaker (English). Just so you guys know, that's why
Looking forward to talk to some fellow lone wolves
!Cheers,
James
