A loner

[ineedhelp]

hi all,

how do i get out of being lonely.. since past around 8 years i got stuck in virtual life of chatting... and lost contact with real world..
i m working in a small company for past 10 years... so either boss or subordinate no my level person to talk ... and can't leave company also as i m the main person.. if i leave the company suffer a lot.. and i can't do that... and i don't had confidence left with outer world...

don't know wht to do...
and top of it.. i got married... unable to adjust with her...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What kind of company do you work for?

Have you tried meetup groups?

 

[Locke]

Do you have any hobbies? Anything that'll get you out of the house and away from work, where you can meet new people? Sorry to hear that you're having trouble adjusting to married life, you can tell us about it if you want.

Welcome to the forum, ineedhelp.

 

[ineedhelp]

i work for a multimedia company.. i m designer / animator / film editor...

i got hobbies like photography, swimming... my photos are appreciated by many...

but i like to live alone.. as i feel i can't adjust with people... i go for photography alone...
i got habit chatting .. so i can get friends.. but i never allowed any chat friend to enter in my life...

itz complicated.. and now i got married... to a girl who i don't love much... but she loves me a lot...
i wanted to avoid the marriage but no one is there to talk to me so i keep getting stuck and in a months time i got married... even i didn't dare to break the marriage as i got engaged...

and now i feel my life is going to be a total mess... as i avoiding to meet people, and lesser talking... i m loosing my professional confidence also...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Wow, that's awesome. Audio and Video Production?

I tried to do that, but I had no artistic skill. I settled for computer programming.

And it sounds like you're an introvert. So am I. I don't like being around a lot of people, and am usually content alone...but I do need to get out socially sometimes.

You shouldn't feel ashamed for this. If you click with one or two people, call them friends and then see them every once in a while. You don't need a lot of social contact, everyone has different levels of social contact they need.

 

[ladyforsaken]

itz complicated.. and now i got married... to a girl who i don't love much... but she loves me a lot...
i wanted to avoid the marriage but no one is there to talk to me so i keep getting stuck and in a months time i got married... even i didn't dare to break the marriage as i got engaged...

You should try talking to the girl about your honest feelings before it's too late. I gather from this that you're not married yet, but are going to get married in a month's time right?

But I know how difficult your position is, considering you're already engaged and the wedding is right around the corner.

Before you regret something for the rest of your life, better get the truth out there. Unless you're willing to give it up and try to accept the marriage, accept this girl and work for it.

 

[ineedhelp]

i m married already.. 3 weeks back..

 

[ladyforsaken]

Oh :\ sorry I misunderstood.

Well then have you tried talking to your wife? Maybe if you clear things up, you both can find ways to work this out together.

 

[ineedhelp]

i have all negative points to talk with her... and i m very bad with communication...
if i told her i didn't had good feelings for her.. it can be worst.. i hardly talk with her...
i m just keeping quite... hiding from people..
if she come infront of me... i go blank... coz of regret..

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Wait, are you saying you don't love her? Or that you can't communicate with her?

There's a difference.

 

[ineedhelp]

i don't love her.. i don't get attracted to her.. so i don't feel like doing communication with her...
tired of thinking it.. and it affecting on my personal & professional life...
day by day i m getting isolated...

 

[Retrospective81]

hi all,

how do i get out of being lonely.. since past around 8 years i got stuck in virtual life of chatting... and lost contact with real world..
i m working in a small company for past 10 years... so either boss or subordinate no my level person to talk ... and can't leave company also as i m the main person.. if i leave the company suffer a lot.. and i can't do that... and i don't had confidence left with outer world...

don't know wht to do...
and top of it.. i got married... unable to adjust with her...

HI ineedhelp and welcome to ALL. I'm sure a lot of people have made you welcome already. Something we all do very well here I hope\I'm sure you will be very comfortable here.

On noting your threads, its good that you have hobbies. Especially, your photography that seems to attract a lot of interest so keep with that!

On your marriage I'm not sure what I can say apart from be 'true to yourself'. Its never too late to be honest about your feelings towards life and to your wife. I cant offer anymore support as I have never been married unfortunately. I will say this though, the earlier you do something about it, the easier it is (even if at the time its seems like the hardest thin in the world).

Keep your chin up, as you are amongst friends

 

[ineedhelp]

finally i got some feelings for her... as i m forcing myself to her.. i do whatever she asks... she also respects me lot... me 2..