Squall1988
Active member
hey all, ive been away from the boreds for a long time but i need help.
Since i was twelve ive been diagnosed with depression. My childhood was filled with temptation and opportunity to become a drug user,alcoholic,or criminal,ect and i over came them. I have had therapists tell me that after things ive been through i should be one of those things. Now that im 21 years old and my life has gone nowhere since i left high school im beginning to think it may have been all for nothing.
I had a job, a good job. 10/hour doing simple honest work. But every week i would blow all my money on bullshit.after 6 months of that i had a breakdown and quit my job.About three to 5 weeks later i meet this girl and for the first time can see a real future for myself shaping, but now jobless i can see it dissipating as soon as it appeared. I can't find a job anywhere.
Im an artist, im not great but it is the only thing i have that can be considered a skill.(www.sykishi.deviantart.com if you would like to see) More than anything i would like to do something in the art field and accomplish anything. But i start project after project and finish nothing. i cant stay motivated.I try to find like minded people to work with, i find it much easier to work when i have people backing me up and all working tword a common goal.But every time i find someone that i can work with i lose them. ive even had a guy who i was writing a story with dissapear completely on me.
Ive been using video games as a escape all my life, in fact i could very well owe my life to them. But now i can't find relief in them like i used to.They just seem to add more stress and anger.
Suicide is something that ive thought of ever since i can remember. With the world in the seemingly unstoppable downward spiral i ask myself if all these bad feelings i go threw and that i live with worth to keep living with for a chance to do something,anything.
Ive been overwhelmed with feelings lately, mostly depression and feeling like im drowning in a sea of nothingness. Ive come here to vent, and hopefully someone might have just the right words to help me out.I thank anyone who cares enough to read all this.
Since i was twelve ive been diagnosed with depression. My childhood was filled with temptation and opportunity to become a drug user,alcoholic,or criminal,ect and i over came them. I have had therapists tell me that after things ive been through i should be one of those things. Now that im 21 years old and my life has gone nowhere since i left high school im beginning to think it may have been all for nothing.
I had a job, a good job. 10/hour doing simple honest work. But every week i would blow all my money on bullshit.after 6 months of that i had a breakdown and quit my job.About three to 5 weeks later i meet this girl and for the first time can see a real future for myself shaping, but now jobless i can see it dissipating as soon as it appeared. I can't find a job anywhere.
Im an artist, im not great but it is the only thing i have that can be considered a skill.(www.sykishi.deviantart.com if you would like to see) More than anything i would like to do something in the art field and accomplish anything. But i start project after project and finish nothing. i cant stay motivated.I try to find like minded people to work with, i find it much easier to work when i have people backing me up and all working tword a common goal.But every time i find someone that i can work with i lose them. ive even had a guy who i was writing a story with dissapear completely on me.
Ive been using video games as a escape all my life, in fact i could very well owe my life to them. But now i can't find relief in them like i used to.They just seem to add more stress and anger.
Suicide is something that ive thought of ever since i can remember. With the world in the seemingly unstoppable downward spiral i ask myself if all these bad feelings i go threw and that i live with worth to keep living with for a chance to do something,anything.
Ive been overwhelmed with feelings lately, mostly depression and feeling like im drowning in a sea of nothingness. Ive come here to vent, and hopefully someone might have just the right words to help me out.I thank anyone who cares enough to read all this.