Age gap relationships gone wrong?

[maidahl]

I had a thing with my old professor. I'm in my twenties. He was forty. he left me pretty heartbroken. Told me to grow up a little and call him if I really ever thought it wasn't just sex. Used me shamelessly. Wow.

Any thoughts? Is age just a number and I landed a moron? Or is it a barrier that isolates and is detrimental to well-being when you're young?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

k.....
From a guy's perspective that's over 40 and dated women in their 20's.
Yes and no.

Yes...
At the moment Im seeing someone that's in her mid 20's.
Were in the friends with benifits. it's a mutal agreement.
She's not ready to settle down and Ive just gotten out of
a very long drown out relationship with someone.
Im not ready for a commitment nor is she.
Sex...but i dont treat her bad. The emotional bonding is there.

NO....
A couple of years ago
Whcih is really ironic...She's younger and barely turned 20.
But she's very mature for her age because of her life's experince.
We have a lot more in common. We bonded at a lot of levels.
I would had gladly married her. it's just the circumstance
at the time wasnt right for both of us. There were a lot of things
on her ends she needed to get taken care of. And I needed to get
my finacial matter straingten out to provide us a home.
It didnt mean that we didnt love each other.
Time and being seperated simply just ended things for us.
Other people came into both our lives. i still talk to her
from time to time.

For me...it didnt matter even though Im older,now
I got married when i was 19...so it wasnt like I didnt have
sex with a 19 year old before or loved a 19 year old before...
I just had to be 19 at that time too....

My uncel and aunty...
20 years age difference. They been married forever. Over 25 yrs.

and Ive also been on the flip side of the coin.
I had a 12 yrs relationship with one of my ex that's 10 yrs older than me.

 

[Ox Blood]

People will probably disagree with me, but oh well.

He knew **** well what he was doing. He's a professor that used his position to his advantage and I'll bet that he's done it before, if not several times. Professors, especially charismatic ones, know how to gauge people. Many of them also know how to read individuals (on a one-on-one basis) and look for vulnerability traits. It's cold that he pulled the hot-cold switch on you to get what he wanted...

Age is just a number, in my opinion -- but you should take the time before you invest too much of yourself in something... Get to know who you are opening your heart to.

I'm sorry for what you are going through... It sounds painful. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Parabolani]

In my experience age gap relationships are alway's going to be fling's that should end just after they get serious. Bitter sweet.

Cougars rule!!!

 

[Stars]

I would like to believe age is a number...and FOR A FEW LOVING COUPLES...it is.

But the REALITY is that a lot of "older men" are just looking for sex. They'll leave their wives, children, and conscience just for young ass. Young girls are often vulnerable...still growing up...inexperienced...and for a perv - it's jackpot. A lot of male teachers would fresia all the students and their daughter's friends if they had the chance. It's just reality.

EDIT: Same goes for the female teachers of course.

 

[fox]

I do not think a relationship with a gap of age always is this way.. it sounds like you ended with a nasty sort of person.. unfortunately this sort is common by all ages

 

[shesafrozenfire]

Age gap relationships can work, but in your case, it sounds like you landed yourself a narcissistic ******* who knows how to lure in and take advantage of impressionable young women for sex.

 

[Ricky6]

You should never blame yourself, if someone takes advantage of you, its not your fault. Unfortunately, there are a lot of shallow mercenary males and females around.

An age gap of ten year is most probably ok, twenty or more years brings complications of age related attitudes which just overwhelms the emotional quicksand of a relationship. There are always exceptions, but in most cases its not a gradual realisation, it’s a thunderbolt, your sitting across the breakfast table with a very old person. The impact of this can be devastating for both.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think age gap relationships are always about sex, not about love.

Sorry you landed a guy like this, but you're probably better off without him.

 

[Callie]

I think age gap relationships are always about sex, not about love.

My grandparents were 18 years apart. They were married for over 50 years. Just saying.


It's not all about the age, it's whether or not you're compatible. Whether you can form a meaning relationship with a person, clearly this guy didn't see that happening, so he broke it off. It's not his fault, it's not yours (unless we're missing a lot of the story, that is). honeysuckle happens, just gotta get back up and try again when you're ready.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think age gap relationships are always about sex, not about love.

My grandparents were 18 years apart. They were married for over 50 years. Just saying.


It's not all about the age, it's whether or not you're compatible. Whether you can form a meaning relationship with a person, clearly this guy didn't see that happening, so he broke it off. It's not his fault, it's not yours (unless we're missing a lot of the story, that is). honeysuckle happens, just gotta get back up and try again when you're ready.

Yeah, that is true.

I was just talking about in general.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well...if you wanna just talk about sex and emotions....of why some
younger women likes a man and not boys.

Boys are still into themselves and inexperinced. especially the ones
that just wanna get into something. They hanvt found the fountain
youth in a 20 year old woman. When a 20 yrs glush like fountain
for the first time in her life...She's gonna love ya for it oneway or
other . and say..."baby, baby hit me one more time."

Romance, i know how to sweep a woman off of her feet.
I'll put her on the pedistal for a while.
Its totally 2 different thing when I get some to warshiping her personally.
then when Im not getting some to warshiping women in general.
Boys hanvt figured that out yet.

Chivery isnt dead, even for a badboy like me...

Then you have boys that dont wanna pick up all the tabs
because they believe in women's lib when it comes to money...is just totally ridiculous.
Lack of experince of seeing a women down on knee looking up at ya while giving u a blow job.

Having been on the flip side of the coin. The older women tuaght me so many, many things.

 

[Gutted]

I think that Age is just a number that is used to show how long people have been on the planet for. Aside from Law, I have no personal problem with Age gaps in relationships. It's really about the mentality of the people who're going out. I know some young people who are more mature then people twice my age lol.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Any man who hates feminism hates women.

 

[maidahl]

He actually said "I'm used to way older vaginas. This should be fun. Whenever you're ready, babe."
Man had a way with words.

I stayed with him because he was super hot, super funny, and super charismatic. I'm dumb.

 

[shesafrozenfire]

He actually said "I'm used to way older vaginas. This should be fun. Whenever you're ready, babe."
Man had a way with words.

That's kind of ******* disgusting.

 

[maidahl]

Haha. I was honeysuckle wasted at the time. So was he. And coming off a cheap high. I quit. I think he did too.

---

And btw, way to judge. Really sweet, man

 

[Callie]

Who exactly is judging?

 

[Okiedokes]

I wouldn't call it wrong when two people have a big age gap. It's not the age that's bad, but what happened in your situation was because he was just tooling around. That is very sad...hopefully you feel better soon. He was a pig.

 

[maidahl]

Guy who called it disgusting. Inappro