I only walk with the lord, I await my home ⚰️
- Jun 19, 2021
- Reaction score
So me and my ex have been irresponsible in many areas, but a huge area is with our little one.
We fight, play games, indulge in toxic behaviours and make each other jealous on any given day...
We never stopped to think about how our little one could be affected by this, so now, I am in a strange situation,
Now I have to hear her crying for us to be back together, crying because her "dad" told her I don't love "them" anymore.
It really wont help saying "oh no... it's him I dont love anymore"... I feel sick, I hate my life, I feel like a failure and I just don't know what to do.
I have let her down so many times, but being a mum is literally my whole existence, I care about little else in this world.
My ex sent me various pictures of us as a family, with a long message about us and trying again, then messages me after that he's moving on.
Everyone said it was simply manipulation, wants me to be jealous of new girlfriend number whatever she is (he's only known for a matter of weeks), also wants her to meet our little one.
I decided I don't know what to do, say yes to prove I am not jealous ? Or say no to protect her from this emotional strain? Or say do whatever you think is best, and hope he will put her interest first?
Am I jealous of this new girlfriend, maybe... she's not as attractive as I thought she would be, so theres that, but she's confrontational, brash, out there, all things I have never been.
I want us to be adults, but.... I am young, I dont always know what to do, I dont always know what is best. I wanted to retaliate soooo badly, but I have to grow up, for her, so.. because of her I will let him win. I lost to the ultimate weapon. Our child. Truthfully, I never want to defeat that weapon.
I wish him luck with this girl, and myself luck with whoever I find... we just cant be together ever again and I think it's time we just sit her down and have that painful conversation.