2020. was such a challenging year for me and not for the obvious reason. World shut down but I also had brain surgery in the midst of it all. It was hard because I was scared and alone/ lonely. No visitations were possible, so I had to recover on my own. I don't have friends but at least family being there would mean so much.
Miraculously I found a person on Lgbt dating app who was actively talking. We started chatting so much daily. We decided to be friends. It was wonderful. In my experience online connections usually fizzle out fast, but we chatted for close to 2 years. And this connection got me through tough time.
She was caring, giving me advice, good sense of humor etc. Very good friend. But I was not. I was depressed and my behavior was shitty, I was passive at times. She tried with me for so long. Something in me started sabotaging it. I can't explain it. I regret it. She stopped texting and I started reaching out too late. I tried but it felt like I was talking to a wall. It happened couple more times , I reach out- she answers but is not engaging more. Recently I reached out again and same thing, she answers but doesn't have same energy. I said I won't text her again and she said she doesn't care.
I'm nostalgic about how we used to be. I'm so sad because I know how hard it is to find a person like her.
I really messed up. It's my own doing, no one else to blame. Maybe someone here have had similar failure?
Miraculously I found a person on Lgbt dating app who was actively talking. We started chatting so much daily. We decided to be friends. It was wonderful. In my experience online connections usually fizzle out fast, but we chatted for close to 2 years. And this connection got me through tough time.
She was caring, giving me advice, good sense of humor etc. Very good friend. But I was not. I was depressed and my behavior was shitty, I was passive at times. She tried with me for so long. Something in me started sabotaging it. I can't explain it. I regret it. She stopped texting and I started reaching out too late. I tried but it felt like I was talking to a wall. It happened couple more times , I reach out- she answers but is not engaging more. Recently I reached out again and same thing, she answers but doesn't have same energy. I said I won't text her again and she said she doesn't care.
I'm nostalgic about how we used to be. I'm so sad because I know how hard it is to find a person like her.
I really messed up. It's my own doing, no one else to blame. Maybe someone here have had similar failure?