All these empty promises

[Maverick1989]

Well, here I am again...

Just got 21 years old last week, and still no girlfriend...
I remember my 20th birthday, when I told my friends for the first time I never had a girlfriend, hence I told them I haven't even kissed a girl yet.
That was embarrassing...

First they were all shocked that I was still a "vírgin virgin" (that's how they call people who never did anything) next they all told me they were going to help me finding a nice girl to spend my time with, and you won't be a vírgin virgin anymore before your 21th birthday.

Well, guess what... still being the one who never "did" anything. And I tell you this, i'm f***ing tired of this honeysuckle. Everyday im being confronted with the fact I never had a girlfriend, let it be the showbizz showing lovely couples, or music that's all about love, or friends kissing with girls infront of me, or people discussing relation problems and asking me for advice and then retreating their question and then "giggle" and say "nevermind".

Well i'm not saying my friends should have "arranged" a girlfriend but it's the fact that everything and everyone around me tells i'll be alright and i'll find someone very soon! SERIOUSLY, they don't now honeysuckle! Or people who think i'm only doing this for the sex, and that I need to be patienced and get over it. HELLO??!? WAKE UP?! HOW CAN I BE F*ING PATIENCED WHEN IM 21 AND NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND IN MY ENTIRE LIFE?!?!:club:

Sorry for that, I needed to vent a bit that felt so **** good. Ok, lets continue....Ofcourse I want sex but I'm not doing it for just sex! If you say you don't and your a guy your just being ignorant, but I want to experience the feeling to be loved, someone to keep me warm. I just want to move on in my life, leaving the childhood moving on to adulthood kind of thing, get it?

Sorry again for these walls of texts, I wanted to keep it short but I kinda let me go there, you see... I have no one to discuss this kind of this so the Internet is the only place where I can do so. You can't expect from me to sit down with my friends at the bar discussing these kind of wuss talk, it's way to complicated at a bar with alcohol and people trying to party . Well I'll save you from the rest, but one last thing;

Please someone, can someone please give me their MSN so we can talk about this. People with the same problems, other problems, black, white, green, guy, gal, I don't care. Just someone I can talk to.
(almost the same time region would be nice GMT+1 The Netherlands EU)

Thanks in advance!

 

[Badjedidude]

Have you read any of the other threads on this site? Your situation sounds very similar to many others who are here, and there's quite a bit of good advice and discussion in other threads about the same thing. So I'll keep it short.

1. Don't just sit back and hope that a girl comes along. Get out and actively involve yourself in looking for a girl.

2. Don't look for romance as beginning criteria for a relationship. Make a lot of female friends FIRST, and then choose one (or more! Keep some options, man! There's no crime in dating multiple women at once, unless you're in an exclusive relationship.) of those to focus on for romance.

3. Don't find a woman that YOU are interested in. Find a woman that is interested in YOU. Only then should you focus on learning to like her in return.

4. Being single doesn't mean you're weird or deficient. It means you're single.

5. Being a virgin doesn't mean you're weird or decifient. It means you're a virgin.

That was all fairly concise, but again, I think a lot of this is covered fairly deeply in other threads. Read those for more info, but these spell out a pretty good path for EVENTUALLY getting into a deep, loving relationship. Hope that was worth the five minutes I took to throw it down.

----Steve

 

[oarivan]

3. Don't find a woman that YOU are interested in. Find a woman that is interested in YOU. Only then should you focus on learning to like her in return.

If the same goes for the womenfolk then we'll never find anyone.

I suppose this fits in with the 'beggars can't be choosers' line.

 

[Badjedidude]

LOL oar. The point is: friends first, romance second.

----Steve

 

[Maverick1989]

Have you read any of the other threads on this site?

Yes I did, over and over... I'm a long time lurker of these forums and I've read many of these threads already, but as you can see im trying to find someone to chat with, with or without similar problems. So that I don't have to post my problems everytime and that I may have my own input.

1. Don't just sit back and hope that a girl comes along. Get out and actively involve yourself in looking for a girl.

I am, im going out every week... i'm still on school, the problem is I don't really meet any women besides my friends girlfriends

2. Don't look for romance as beginning criteria for a relationship. Make a lot of female friends FIRST, and then choose one (or more! Keep some options, man! There's no crime in dating multiple women at once, unless you're in an exclusive relationship.) of those to focus on for romance.

Good one! Problem is, when people are desperate their patience tends to run out And i find that very little women have the same interests as me, so its hard to talk to them.

3. Don't find a woman that YOU are interested in. Find a woman that is interested in YOU. Only then should you focus on learning to like her in return.

Or both But it's indeed way easier to seduce someone who is already interested in you, but finding one is alot harder!

4. Being single doesn't mean you're weird or deficient. It means you're single.

Yep, but in an enviroment where everyone is getting friends and girlfriends you might ask yourself, why am I so different?

5. Being a virgin doesn't mean you're weird or decifient. It means you're a virgin.

Idem

I'm not trying to dumb down your advices! I think they are very good ones, but i'm a very very experienced "single dude" so i've heard those already . But thanks for your input, much appreciated.

My point is, is that everyone keeps telling me that "I will be fine", but i'm not. Don't ask me why but when I was 14 years old, and everyone was getting into girlfriends and stuff, I knew I was still going to be single on my 21th.

Cheers,

 

[Badjedidude]

Don't ask me why but when I was 14 years old, and everyone was getting into girlfriends and stuff, I knew I was still going to be single on my 21th.

*shrug* Well maybe it's that attitude. Lol sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe deep down you subconsciously "decided" that you'd be single, and every decision you've made over the past 7 years has only reinforced that "decision."

Naww, I wouldn't tell you that "you'll be fine." That's what people tell you when they don't know what else to say.

Have a good one, man. You should try the chatroom here...there are always some cool people in there to talk to.

----Steve

 

[Lonesome Crow]

fresia it...keep it simple. Just do it for sex. Screw ******* guilt.

Relationship can get very complicated and consuming. It takes a lot of work
In a healthy relationship each indivual is actaully self supporting mentally and emotionally.

You can't take it all in at once. You have to start somewhere.
Sex is but a small part of a relationship...Start on that part.

In the mean time..just work on yourself.

The first time I got laid...A chick actaully hitted on me. It scared the living honeysuckle out of me...
yeah...yeah, i did that...talk, talk talk for hours. She actaully had to take me by the hands and take me to school
and messed my brains out. I fell very much in love with her. Spent an entire summer living with her...at her place.
She broke my heart. I was living in a sort of fairly tail. I thought we should live together happily ever after.
Years later...after I've mature a bit as a person. She and I became very good friends....(the relationship part.)
She never had any ill will towards me or felt guilty becuase she messed my brains out.
It was me that was tripping with rose coloure glasses. I expected too much from her.
Sex wasn't a dirty thing to her nor did she used it nor abused it to get what she wanted.
I didn't have to earn it...she gave me sex the first night I met her.
It was totally backwards of what I thought it was...or whatever ideas, moral vaules that was putted into my head.
Not all women are the same. She gave me what i needed....SEX.
I might had been heart broken...but i asure you...I didn't feel like i was total wack job after that.
It had nothing to do with peer presure...I was 18. I was in my sexaul prime. Bioilogically my body needed sex.
Errr...god gives me what i need and not what i want...so there you go. Surely she's a loving child of god as I am.

 

[thegameforyou]

Go out and have some fun.. Don't just stay at your house, you will not meet your future girlfriend if you are just in your place..

 

[Maverick1989]

Go out and have some fun.. Don't just stay at your house, you will not meet your future girlfriend if you are just in your place..

I'm not at house that much at all, it's just...
sigh...Maybe im trying to hard?

When I go out no one ever comes to me, but all my friends get loads and loads of attention, and abuse it! (while having a girlfriend, weird huh?) But I know what you guys are trying to tell me, I need to approach more people but, it's so friggin hard

And lonesome crow, wow well, did'nt knew those girls existed.

You see, I just want someone to love me... normally your family can compensate for this but I don't have a mother(died at my 12th age) and my father is a ******* so that aint working.