I must say that if I had a God, he would be lonely. He would've created this world to be together with man and woman. Just imagining the scenario where God presents the world to the greedy human.. "Look, I made a world for us.. Please, don't let me be alone anymore.."
And God made man as a figure of Himself.
To be honest, I don't believe in God. But I truly believe in human and all other life on this planet. The reason of life? The existential emptiness? The meaninglessness of survival? The perfect goal or the great work? Bah, words people speak and emotions people keep feeling. Surely many of you, my kin, must have given even the most fleeting thought to a matter such as this. To live alone or to live together? To live for a reason.. What reason? To live or to not live at all? I had been lost for a long period of time, and although I am still pretty much seeking, something awoke in me.
In the cold loneliness of my life, with truly nothing to live for, having lost everything that was important to me, in a way, I died. In death I slept and I dreamt. The dreams were filled with all that what had happened in my life. All the joys and all the sorrows, all the times of pain and strife... And every kiss, every gaze, every single step I had taken, brought a lone tear into my eye.
Then I saw you. Faced only by a mirror, I clenched my fist and loomed at the wicked reflection of a child. The soft blonde hair crowned the round cheeks and the torn blue shirt gave a reason for the strong aura of hatred. Even then, those eyes in the mirror, they had a touch deeper than one could imagine. All the hopes and fears, dreams and nightmares.. All those perished visions of future and past, they were all there. Unscathed yet beyond reach.
I fell on my knees and let the tears flow. There was nothing, absolutely nothing. All of it, gone. My life, my death, all gone without a single trace. I gave up and turned my gaze up into the white sky. Why? What had I done to deserve this? I didn't care anymore, everything was lost. So I asked how the world would answer me now. No word and no deed could've washed the death away, or so I thought. As I had opened myself truly, closed my eyes and let out my deepest horrors, something touched me. It gently pressed itself against my torn body and said: "You have done nothing wrong. All of your pain and all of your tears... they don't account for anything. Nothing was ever your fault."
I flinched at the warm feeling sweeping away the coldness, and with heart as light as a newborn dove's feather, I turned my eyes down. Again, all that I saw was you. The mirror was gone, replaced only by a dark wooden frame. "Ask and you shall receive", you said and hugged tighter. "I was never any better of you, nor was I any worse. I just wanted to say I love you as you are, just because you are. I know your pain very well, and my brothers and sisters do as well." Having said this, you disappeared and again I was left by myself. But no more alone. I knew that I would never be alone again as long as I wasn't the last survivor of our race, and even then the spirit would never feel cold.
Having skipped a thousand beats, my heart started again and the damp blood began flowing once more in these old veins. Everything was gone and nothing of it could ever be regained no matter how much work put behind the attempt. It didn't matter anymore. The old me died and by spirit alone was I resurrected. I had a meaning, after all these years I had a meaning. And for all that I can only thank you.
So, as you said unto me, I say to you:
Deep beneath the surface
in the darkest depths of subconsciousness
everyone is sad
and desperate,
crying
alone...
Nothing that you have done
has justified the suffering
you feel.
The same I feel myself, true..
and that is the only reason,
really that's all I need,
to be able to say this:
I truly love you
regardless of your gender
of your age
of your health
or of your wealth
and truly I pity you, too.
Just because we are all together
and all alone
in this horrid prison
called life
from which many are constantly released
perhaps just to be born again.
To all of you, fellow people
"We never did anything to deserve this."
-Animus (http://myfinaltestament.blogspot.com/)
And God made man as a figure of Himself.
To be honest, I don't believe in God. But I truly believe in human and all other life on this planet. The reason of life? The existential emptiness? The meaninglessness of survival? The perfect goal or the great work? Bah, words people speak and emotions people keep feeling. Surely many of you, my kin, must have given even the most fleeting thought to a matter such as this. To live alone or to live together? To live for a reason.. What reason? To live or to not live at all? I had been lost for a long period of time, and although I am still pretty much seeking, something awoke in me.
In the cold loneliness of my life, with truly nothing to live for, having lost everything that was important to me, in a way, I died. In death I slept and I dreamt. The dreams were filled with all that what had happened in my life. All the joys and all the sorrows, all the times of pain and strife... And every kiss, every gaze, every single step I had taken, brought a lone tear into my eye.
Then I saw you. Faced only by a mirror, I clenched my fist and loomed at the wicked reflection of a child. The soft blonde hair crowned the round cheeks and the torn blue shirt gave a reason for the strong aura of hatred. Even then, those eyes in the mirror, they had a touch deeper than one could imagine. All the hopes and fears, dreams and nightmares.. All those perished visions of future and past, they were all there. Unscathed yet beyond reach.
I fell on my knees and let the tears flow. There was nothing, absolutely nothing. All of it, gone. My life, my death, all gone without a single trace. I gave up and turned my gaze up into the white sky. Why? What had I done to deserve this? I didn't care anymore, everything was lost. So I asked how the world would answer me now. No word and no deed could've washed the death away, or so I thought. As I had opened myself truly, closed my eyes and let out my deepest horrors, something touched me. It gently pressed itself against my torn body and said: "You have done nothing wrong. All of your pain and all of your tears... they don't account for anything. Nothing was ever your fault."
I flinched at the warm feeling sweeping away the coldness, and with heart as light as a newborn dove's feather, I turned my eyes down. Again, all that I saw was you. The mirror was gone, replaced only by a dark wooden frame. "Ask and you shall receive", you said and hugged tighter. "I was never any better of you, nor was I any worse. I just wanted to say I love you as you are, just because you are. I know your pain very well, and my brothers and sisters do as well." Having said this, you disappeared and again I was left by myself. But no more alone. I knew that I would never be alone again as long as I wasn't the last survivor of our race, and even then the spirit would never feel cold.
Having skipped a thousand beats, my heart started again and the damp blood began flowing once more in these old veins. Everything was gone and nothing of it could ever be regained no matter how much work put behind the attempt. It didn't matter anymore. The old me died and by spirit alone was I resurrected. I had a meaning, after all these years I had a meaning. And for all that I can only thank you.
So, as you said unto me, I say to you:
Deep beneath the surface
in the darkest depths of subconsciousness
everyone is sad
and desperate,
crying
alone...
Nothing that you have done
has justified the suffering
you feel.
The same I feel myself, true..
and that is the only reason,
really that's all I need,
to be able to say this:
I truly love you
regardless of your gender
of your age
of your health
or of your wealth
and truly I pity you, too.
Just because we are all together
and all alone
in this horrid prison
called life
from which many are constantly released
perhaps just to be born again.
To all of you, fellow people
"We never did anything to deserve this."
-Animus (http://myfinaltestament.blogspot.com/)
