Alone and miserable

[Forever_Alone92]

Thought that maybe if i got this off my chest it might help...

I am 20 years old I am completely alone. Most people my age have friends and have at least had 1 girlfriend by now. I've never been on a date and it just bothers me more and more everyday. I just want to be happy and I simply don't know how. I had friends just over a year ago but most of them just sort of stopped talking to me for whatever reason (though I don't know what that reason is). Right now I only have one person that occasionally talks to me but she is clearly getting a bit sick of me and ignores texts and has been rather off with me for some time; something that happens far too often in my life. People just generally dislike me, especially girls which means I can barely talk to them. On the rare occasion I manage to ask someone out I just get rejected.. Once someone actually laughed in my face. Yeah so that's the end of me moaning about my life, wonder if anyone else has the same experiences in theirs.

 

[Legato]

Hi FA,

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this.

I went through the same situation at that age. Thought I'd never meet anyone, became jealous of how everyone around me had a relationship and I didnt, and also lost my friends. I never thought it was going to get better. But I suddenly woke up and made a promise to myself.

I AM going to find myself a girl.
I AM going to make friends.
I AM going to change my life for the better.

As soon as I began to feel more positive, motivated etc, things began to look up for me. I began looking for friends. Made an effort, didn't walk around looking down to floor. I shown people I could be confident (and I was the least confident person on the planet). Whilst looking for friends, I found a girl who I ended up having an incredible relationship with. I got in touch with old friends, met up and talked things over, and now we're as close as ever.

My relationship didn't work out in the end, but it shown me it can be done.

I know rejection can hurt, but try to think of it as a learn curve. Think of your approach, if there was a way you could of handled yourself better etc.

Trust me, things will work out for you. But don't spend years worrying about not finding that special someone. Some people wait until very late in life before finding the 'one'. It's not all about the amount of girlfriends had, it's about how special that relationship actually is.

Hope things work out for ya bud, best of luck

 

[painter's radio]

There are many people that feel exactly the same as you do. Both men and women who have never been kissed, loved. It's difficult to find them, sometimes, but they are out there. Friends often lose contact with each other, especially around the late teens/early twenties, when we go our own ways and move on with things. It can seem like they're all still in contact with each other and you've been left behind. Sometimes, that is the case. If it is, then you have to move on too. Concentrate on your hobbies, study something you've always been interested in, go for walks and keep your body and mind healthy. Look for forums in your area, look for new friends online. Dating sites can be good for that, not everyone is just looking for love there. Perhaps your friend feels too much of a burden, knowing she is your only friend and that you are looking for love. You're putting too much energy into one person.

 

[Forever_Alone92]

I probably need to try to be/seem more confident (quite difficult though) in order to get anywhere.

And I do agree about putting too much energy into one person. Must find more friends! It's nice to talk to people that understand for a change.

 

[brickinthewall]

Hey , yeah I'm in a similar situation myself , I wouldn't say people dislike me though , I'm more of a transparent person , people only notice/remember me when I'm standing right in front of them , if they don't see me I don't exist to them, having a pretty rough time with girls, although I have to say I've been trying pretty hard lately. Been asking girls out (mostly ones I don't know very well , I find it's easier to deal with rejection like that) for the past few weeks. I know rejection is scary, but if you think about it, it's not THAT bad , I mean what's the worst thing that can happen? She says no?

Yeah ,sure , I've hit my head against brick walls A LOT of times , but like a friend of mine says , eventually you'll hit a weak spot in that wall and it will break. That's pretty much what keeps me going on and trying. And like Legato said , keeping a positive attitude is very important , the way you feel about yourself reflects on how others feel about you.

 

[drr26]

You sound alot like how I feel. Everybody in my year at school (back in the day) has now got a partner/kids etc. I have nobody.


Try to keep focused on other aspects of life for now. It kinda helps me


Also that girl who laughed in your face, such a ***** thing to do.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I am 20 years old I am completely alone. Most people my age have friends and have at least had 1 girlfriend by now. I've never been on a date and it just bothers me more and more everyday. I just want to be happy and I simply don't know how. I had friends just over a year ago but most of them just sort of stopped talking to me for whatever reason (though I don't know what that reason is). Right now I only have one person that occasionally talks to me but she is clearly getting a bit sick of me and ignores texts and has been rather off with me for some time; something that happens far too often in my life. People just generally dislike me, especially girls which means I can barely talk to them. On the rare occasion I manage to ask someone out I just get rejected.. Once someone actually laughed in my face. Yeah so that's the end of me moaning about my life, wonder if anyone else has the same experiences in theirs.

Not having had a relationship at 20 is seriously normal. Don't pressure yourself based on other people's standards.

You're not alone.. I went through a similar thing. My so called good friends just stop talking to me entirely and I realise that they're just lazy to keep in touch... and I in turn treat them the same. All I'm saying is.. if those friends are sucky, keep looking for ones who would be there for you. They are out there, trust me.

What a ****** for laughing at your face. Kudos to you for having that courage to ask her out. Don't give up, yeah?

 

[ihabl]

I was 23 when I got my first girlfriend and kissed a girl....same girl....the things you think would be great turns out not to be that big of a deal. My next girlfriend became my wife. I have always struggled with making friends. I was picked on when I was young. I became a very good athlete in junior high and high school but was very, very shy so I didn't have any friends.....I never and still never feel like I am part of a group. It's hard, I feel I've missed out on a lot but the funny thing is, when I do experience something, it wasn't as great as I thought it would be. I also think it can be very hard being a guy, we still are the ones to be the aggressor and work up the courage to ask a girl out. I would guess that more guys than girls have never been kissed.

 

[Alone By Faults]

Are you miserable because you are alone or because you try and it gets nowhere...

big difference

 

[blackdot]

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[AnonymousMe]

I was 23 when I got my first girlfriend and kissed a girl....same girl....the things you think would be great turns out not to be that big of a deal. My next girlfriend became my wife. I have always struggled with making friends. I was picked on when I was young. I became a very good athlete in junior high and high school but was very, very shy so I didn't have any friends.....I never and still never feel like I am part of a group. It's hard, I feel I've missed out on a lot but the funny thing is, when I do experience something, it wasn't as great as I thought it would be. I also think it can be very hard being a guy, we still are the ones to be the aggressor and work up the courage to ask a girl out. I would guess that more guys than girls have never been kissed.

At least you have a wife, I'd kill to have one, without minding of not having friends.

..

Same here, do users even bother to check the dates before commenting?

 

[blackdot]

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Same here, do users even bother to check the dates before commenting?

yeah, I got snagged by an oldie. I write a reply and post it and then noticed how old the thread is. Then i can't find a delete post button so I just edit it to a dot. But the system complains that it is only one dot so I make it 2 dots.

 

[tresat]

I feel the same but i'm a couple years older. I had a few friends back in college but i got isolated in my last year and we don't talk anymore. I never had a girlfriend. I had a female online friend who I got close to but she is more and more distant. I was in love with her and I was hoping that the relationship would grow but it seems that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and it breaks my heart.

 

[handheart]

This its self esteem and you dont have confidence in you .What its your purpose in life ,what you want to became ? what you do to became a better person ? For me its helped me a lot by reading inspirational books and personal development how to think etc .Just thinking what it can be wrong in our life .I would tell you for sure that its the way you thinking .Yu consider watching law of atrction movie ?