Carcass Raid
Well-known member
Moving soon. To Jersey Shore, PA hopefully for good. Trying to get closer to my girlfriend. She'll be 30 minutes away but that's still plenty far. I'm pretty much completely alone after my divorce. Nothing's the same. I've never quite felt so stuck within my own head. I have a great girlfriend but I wonder what I'll do when she's not around. I'll have no one in this new town. I already don't talk to my friends much but they're still there if I really need them. Same with my family.
I'm already feeling somewhat trapped. I won't even have a computer to visit this site or anything. It's not like it ever makes me feel better anyhow. I guess I needed to just dump my problems somewhere. It hurts. Really bad. Being so alone. Having no place to really call "home" either. In times like this I randomly miss my ex-wife. I like to believe I moved on but I find myself randomly missing her. She's happy. She's gone onto another part of her life. But me...I got left behind with all the pain and memories. Another part of the reason I need to leave this town.
My options are pretty much to stay here and remain in misery. Getting over them isn't an option when you see them everyday and you can't escape. Either that or take a gigantic leap of faith and be happy with my girlfriend as I start a new life in a new town somewhere where no one knows me.
I pray I can find work. I'm afraid I'll have to come crawling back to LA and find a place with my father. I didn't realize I'd be growing up so fast in one year. I miss it all being so easy just to wake up and live. I miss having people talk to me about stuff and having people close to me. This lonliness is depressing me to no end. I feel like I'm suffocating, never able to tell anyone what's going on. It doesn't matter anyhow it's not like someone can come along and make it better no matter how much I want that. I don't want a suggestion. I just want things to be okay.
I'm alone and afraid. And there is no way out. So I want to fade away.
I'm already feeling somewhat trapped. I won't even have a computer to visit this site or anything. It's not like it ever makes me feel better anyhow. I guess I needed to just dump my problems somewhere. It hurts. Really bad. Being so alone. Having no place to really call "home" either. In times like this I randomly miss my ex-wife. I like to believe I moved on but I find myself randomly missing her. She's happy. She's gone onto another part of her life. But me...I got left behind with all the pain and memories. Another part of the reason I need to leave this town.
My options are pretty much to stay here and remain in misery. Getting over them isn't an option when you see them everyday and you can't escape. Either that or take a gigantic leap of faith and be happy with my girlfriend as I start a new life in a new town somewhere where no one knows me.
I pray I can find work. I'm afraid I'll have to come crawling back to LA and find a place with my father. I didn't realize I'd be growing up so fast in one year. I miss it all being so easy just to wake up and live. I miss having people talk to me about stuff and having people close to me. This lonliness is depressing me to no end. I feel like I'm suffocating, never able to tell anyone what's going on. It doesn't matter anyhow it's not like someone can come along and make it better no matter how much I want that. I don't want a suggestion. I just want things to be okay.
I'm alone and afraid. And there is no way out. So I want to fade away.
