stinky_cheese_dude
Well-known member
Firstly, I'd like to apologise for my last post. I wasn't in a good place at the time, and constantly frustrated by my own inability to overcome what can sometimes seem to be the easiest of hurdles.
I'd like to say that I'm good at starting conversations, but realistically I'm a conversation killer. I've tried various guides at '5 steps to a good conversation' or 'How to keep talking' or whatever, but had people walk away from me. Having this happen over a number of years eroded what self-confidence I had (not much) and increased my anxiety to the point I just can't even start an online conversation.
Yes, I tried joining the chat room here, but had to quit because I felt wretched in myself - not anyone else's fault. I just got so hung up on what to say. The conversation didn't interest me most of the time (but again, no fault of what people were chatting about - I understand our interests and what we find as conversation is different). I would consider trying again, but not sure how I would cope with it - my counselling session yesterday was very hard emotionally and I just feel a bit raw about my social life at the moment.
So like real life, I slipped out the back door of the chat room. My counsellor said this is a very self-destructive behaviour, and we are working on how to overcome it. I suffer anxiety and panic when faced with this. Oddly though, I can talk to a checkout assistant - but they have to make the start, I've observed in myself.
I've tried these 'meet a friend' groups, meetup, other social networks to no avail. I find some people who will try and talk for a couple of days, then just disappear. I would guess it's because I stop talking back. Again, self-destructive patterns. Sometimes they don't bother and I think it's my fault.
I know there's plenty of us in the same situation, and I apologise for the simple fact that I don't know how to start talking. No wonder I'm lonely. Again, I apologise to you all.
I'd like to say that I'm good at starting conversations, but realistically I'm a conversation killer. I've tried various guides at '5 steps to a good conversation' or 'How to keep talking' or whatever, but had people walk away from me. Having this happen over a number of years eroded what self-confidence I had (not much) and increased my anxiety to the point I just can't even start an online conversation.
Yes, I tried joining the chat room here, but had to quit because I felt wretched in myself - not anyone else's fault. I just got so hung up on what to say. The conversation didn't interest me most of the time (but again, no fault of what people were chatting about - I understand our interests and what we find as conversation is different). I would consider trying again, but not sure how I would cope with it - my counselling session yesterday was very hard emotionally and I just feel a bit raw about my social life at the moment.
So like real life, I slipped out the back door of the chat room. My counsellor said this is a very self-destructive behaviour, and we are working on how to overcome it. I suffer anxiety and panic when faced with this. Oddly though, I can talk to a checkout assistant - but they have to make the start, I've observed in myself.
I've tried these 'meet a friend' groups, meetup, other social networks to no avail. I find some people who will try and talk for a couple of days, then just disappear. I would guess it's because I stop talking back. Again, self-destructive patterns. Sometimes they don't bother and I think it's my fault.
I know there's plenty of us in the same situation, and I apologise for the simple fact that I don't know how to start talking. No wonder I'm lonely. Again, I apologise to you all.