Another bad one

[hitch1983]

Just really here to get rid of these thoughts. Dont have anyone to share it with.

3 months ago i got talking to a girl off a christian website. Before her i just finished with a girl who was a catfish. It was a very frustrating and you could say damaging relationship. Didnt end well lets just say that.

So after a short period of time i went looking thru all the online avenues with a vengeance. Louise or weezy as she likes to be known pops up. She didnt have a profile picture, but with my state of play and loneliness i replied anyway.

Anyways turns out not only was she nice but also quite pretty. So got my hopes up.

Should have known there be a catch though. She suffers from depression but is recovering, to the extent shes almost living a normal life so to speak.

I was a bit down in confidence from my last experience so wasnt really rushing into arranging a meet, but eventually i did, but was knocked back with the excuse need to get to know each other more. Which is fine, it was her first online experience, i can understand why she wouldnt just jump in there.

So we get talking more by text, online and get on quite good. So much soo i ask for a date for the second time. She says yes. I get my hopes up and look forward to it......

She then stands me up and says she couldnt because depression was too much.

I give her the benefit of the doubt and continue talking with her.....weeks pass on and i get the courage to ask her again, but this time life gets in the way for us both. She is going on a holiday with her parents for 10 days and shortly after she is back im away to egypt with some friends for 2 weeks. So we arrange to have a date when we are both back.

By now we have gotten quite comfortable with each by text, and the conversations are little more familar and couplish but i still found it impossible for her to really open up to me.

But anyways at first opportunity to have a date when i was back we had.

Last saturday to be exact. It wasnt the best date nor the worst. In fact it felt kinda rushed and didnt really get much chance to bond with her.

We went to the cinema and then had dinner.

Anyways whilst i didnt think it was a fall in love kinda date, i felt it was ok and enough to keep things going for future dates to actually see if we were compatible.

But on MOnday i get a horrible text saying i dont think i felt a spark and basically said there would be no more dates.

I feel like ive been thru the wringer again and im struggling to cope with this empty void thats appeared in my life again.

Ive already started looking thru the websites, but this time its different. Im seeing all these faces, and ive not got the motivation to talk to anyone.....

how can i break free from this?

 

[ABrokenMan]

sorry things did not turn out the way you wanted.

However, i applaud the girl for telling you upfront that she suffers from depression. I feel, as she does, that it is better to mention these things upfront - lay the cards on the table. i would hope that a potential female partner would be understanding of my issues, and not dismiss me outright, but that rarely occurs. Dealing with depression is a hard road and can be both overwhelming and suffocating.

She did nothing wrong, and you have to take her word about no spark as an honest realization. Better to be told early on than to be built up over time.

You have to be satisfied in your way of thinking that you tried, it didn't go as planned and need to continue searching. You're way ahead of many of the males on this forum who perpetually marinate in negativity and inertia.

If i were you, I'd ask her to be friends - it is always good to have a close friend that you can confide in of the opposite sex. It sounds as if both of you have cultivated something that could lead to friendship.

I met someone this summer I was attracted to, thought she might feel the same (no idea if she does), we have gone out on a couple of low-key dates, but I doubt we will ever be nothing more than just good friends, based upon the conversations and vibe. But I am quite OK with having her as a friend! Good, trustworthy friends are just as difficult to find as romantic partners, in my experience.

 

[BeyondShy]

3 months ago i got talking to a girl off a christian website. Before her i just finished with a girl who was a catfish. It was a very frustrating and you could say damaging relationship. Didnt end well lets just say that.

What the heck do you mean by catfish?

 

[ABrokenMan]

Catfishing has been popularized recently via the film documentary and followup series that is currently broadcast here in the USA on the MTV network.

Catfishing is corresponding with another person you have only met on line- one person is honest, while the other pretends to be someone else by using photos which are not of themselves, in other words, creating a totally fake and fraudulent persona often to just play mindgames for their own entertainment.

 

[BeyondShy]

Catfishing is corresponding with another person you have only met on line- one person is honest, while the other pretends to be someone else by using photos which are not of themselves, in other words, creating a totally fake and fraudulent persona often to just play mindgames for their own entertainment.

As if people don't have a hard enough time meeting others already.