Anxiety, frustration and completly emptiness

[mari1969]

All that is what i feel at the end of the day, those feellings dont let me sleep because i still reading, still searching again and again. I can belive there arent any man that would like to be loved, cared, have a good company and enjoy to give the same (i say "good company" because im clean, i have y own money, i dont like to take advantage from the others, i dont have children). So after this rational thought i say WTF im doing wrong?? Im loosing my life alone, sad, anxious, needy to give and recive a hug, to hold a hand.

Sh@t, sh@t, Sh@t 

I just return from a travel to the Caribbean and i saw many many old partners together having fun, enjoying.

 

[Somnambulist]

Dear mari,

I feel your pain ... I really do.

I know that it is hard to rationalize why good people end up being alone and finding it so difficult to find love. I am one of them, so I assure you that you are not alone.

It's not that you are doing anything wrong ... I think that some people are just conditioned differently, due to a combination of our biology (what we inherit from our parents), our upbringing, our surrounding culture, and life experiences. And, in this world, people are scared of those who are different from others, because everyone feels like they need to fit in.

So, you and I are probably just different from what is considered the norm. And because people are so narrow minded, they don't give us a chance.

When you say that you are losing your life and you need a hug and hold a hand, I am right there with you ... right there !

I know that feeling of jealousy all too well ... when you go out and see couples holding hands and kissing and having a good time. It is one of the worst feelings in the world ... and one of the loneliest.

I don't have a solution for you, mari But, you are certainly not alone. I hope you at least find some people here to talk to. If you feel like messaging me, please feel free to do so. I will do my best to respond in a timely manner.

And, don't worry about your English. Su Inglés es bueno.

Please don't lose hope.

 

[mari1969]

Thanks you very much Somnambulist for write me and for your flowers

 

[planetlonely23]

Considering life as a hole, it's possible that people can understand you, even feeling close to you, but unless you dont stop to see others as a threat, whom they have a better life than you, won't do to have a good sight about you. Analizing why we are so down and why other people have fiance next to them won't beat our situation. It's better to start from zero and let yourself go as a free person, finding the right tracks, which will make you somebody loved by yourself and others.

 

[Naizo]

I like to think life is without meaning, but I don't mean that in a way that should be considered depressing. To me, we are not here for any reason. We aren't here just to find friend and find purpose. We're simply here. What we do with that time is up to us. How others treat us is irrelevant, despite that it effects us. The chemicals in our brain and bodies give us wants and needs, and although we may want them, the world will in no way go out of its way to aid us in our own pursuits. Life is chaotic, without reason, and the only sense to be made of it is that which we find in it. The world will not automatically be nice because we choose to be nice. No more than an ant has any choice of whether or not a child pours water into its home, or some creative human pours mercury into it, destroying it. The ant has as much purpose in this life, on this planet, as any human being. The ant is minute compared to our size, and we are capable of crushing it underfoot or thumb as easily as a raging semi truck may crush us. But the ant has a colony and they run on pheromones. Exactly like humanity. Except we don't get a home for free. We have to pay for it. We have to pay for everything we want from the day we are born because like the ant we created a society, however unlike the ant, we as humans don't serve eachother without promise of reward. We are greedy and wanton creatures who think we're above the ant. We are not.

We are bigger. But we have equal purpose. None. Whether we take that as a freedom or as a burden, that's simply up to how the chemicals in our brain react to being told so.

I don't mean to be depressing, but despite the ingenuity of humanity and the ability to learn and grasp new concepts, one thing will always remain. Our selfishness, even in our kindest moments. We're humanity. We're dirty and we hunt and gather, and we fight to survive against all odds. We're cockroaches, we're ants, we're everything but important in a vast universe.

Much like America (my home country) thinks it is the only country in the world capable of changing the world, We too think, subconsciously, that we are the only ones capable of changing our lives. This simply is not true. An infinite number of things can happen to us every day from outside sources. The only solution is to, like the cockroach or ant, despite the amount of things that can destroy us, keep on going. Despite what anyone tells us, despite what anyone tries to give to us as advice or as purpose and despite what can happen to us on a day to day basis that we have no control over whatsoever. We always have the options to sit and wait, to build, to do what makes us happy, regardless of the world around us. Don't let anyone ever make you feel purposeless, because they are on the same playing field and are just as purposeless. They may have it better in a societal standpoint, but no matter what life in human society has given them that it has not given us, they are our equals. They have the same issues we do. The same chemicals. Life is what you want out of it. And you owe no one, not your parents or your grandparents or anyone of the sort, anything. You owe no one. Not even yourself. Your only job on this planet is to do what you want, when you want, how you want to.

 

[Naizo]

Dear mari,

I feel your pain ... I really do.

I know that it is hard to rationalize why good people end up being alone and finding it so difficult to find love. I am one of them, so I assure you that you are not alone.

It's not that you are doing anything wrong ... I think that some people are just conditioned differently, due to a combination of our biology (what we inherit from our parents), our upbringing, our surrounding culture, and life experiences. And, in this world, people are scared of those who are different from others, because everyone feels like they need to fit in.

So, you and I are probably just different from what is considered the norm. And because people are so narrow minded, they don't give us a chance.

When you say that you are losing your life and you need a hug and hold a hand, I am right there with you ... right there !

I know that feeling of jealousy all too well ... when you go out and see couples holding hands and kissing and having a good time. It is one of the worst feelings in the world ... and one of the loneliest.

I don't have a solution for you, mari But, you are certainly not alone. I hope you at least find some people here to talk to. If you feel like messaging me, please feel free to do so. I will do my best to respond in a timely manner.

And, don't worry about your English. Su Inglés es bueno.

Please don't lose hope.

Somnambulist describes alot of the feelings I get when I see my friends kissing and being happy. I remember when I had that. It's natural to feel that way. Because of who we are, we get jealous. It's okay. Being sad is okay. Being mad is okay. Being jealous, despite what a pastor or preacher may tell you, is okay. Simply live your life to the best of your ability doing what makes you happy, and some day, someone will take notice. Someone out their enjoys the same things you do.

Some people enjoy eating people (Just as an example of something most people would find strange. I don't eat people I promise.) Some people enjoy relationships with people half their age, some people like people twice their age. Life is a chaotic puzzle and no two pieces fit together perfectly, but they do fit together in the ways that will matter in the end.

 

[mari1969]

Thanks to all the ones that take time to comment my post

 

[careyon]

We all want to be loved.  Your time will come.  While you're waiting for that prince, focus on loving yourself.  You stated how you have a lot going for yourself, but I wonder if that energy of confidence is felt by others  Confidence is attractive.  Pray God sends someone for you to love in His time and that He will give you patience and contentment while you wait.