Any advice at all?

[Xeta]

Hi there. ive been forgetting to post haha, but thats aside anything
Ok look heres my dilemma. ill start by talking about what made me what i am in the first place. back in about 7th grade or so i was pretty popular. far from lonely and doing real well for myself. Except then, after a while, sometime in the middle of school, it all went horribly wrong. at first a few friends rejected me and i didnt think much of it. but then more and more friends left me... until i was left completely alone. i wandered in this loneliness for about 1/2 a year. not talking to anyone.. always watching others having fun, the way i used to. always scared of others motives. as i said, not talking to anyone; just walking with my head down and mouth closed. ashamed, embarrassed and nervous all the time, i always thought of myself as nothing. crying in my bed alot. it was horrible. I'm finally coming away from it a bit. I have a few friends now but the feelings of loneliness and worthlessness remain. The prolonged isolation created a void that none of my friends can fill.

I've been trying to find a girlfriend, but i have no luck. a couple of my friends (girls btw) say that im an amazing "catch". they say im really good looking, smart, funny, honest, and very kind. i have i hard time believing them. Ive had no luck on girls that im interested in. i am picky to a degree, but its still pretty wide. i know i lack a lot of self confidence, but i dont understand how girls would be able to see it. and if they started a relationship with me, my confidence would go way up, so it wouldnt matter the way i am now. but please i need some help here. any help would be very appreciated!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I think when I was HS there was a song call "love stinks"lol
It gose like this...."you love her , she loves him, he loves somebody else so U can't just win".

Anyway, I didn't always had a gf when I was in HS or a good protion of my life.
While it might seems like the end of the world when you're single or young. It's not.
Alot of people don't have relationships or a lot of freinds.

Freindship is always nice to have. I wasn't was popular as my sister was. I was always
know as ...you're so and so's bother.lol
Anyway, I did have enough friends . Sometimes I'll go though stages of not having friend
or being alone. I had girls as freinds....If i wasn't so caught up into myself or what
the lastest fashion or being slick hip and cool all the time...I releized that the girls that
befriend me...actaully really wanted me for her boyfriend. She was actaully cute and
smart, Just not popular or flashy... I kind of knew..just young and stupid.

Anyway, i had a heck of a time consentrating on my school work..which is the most important
thing in my life aside from all the peer pressure of being a teenager.

Hine site is 20/20...That quite smart girl that befriended me grew up and filled out into a very beautiful
woman...She's making some guy stupid happy and it aint me.lol

 

[SadRabbit]

Xeta...maybe its because girls like guys who are self confident? Give yourself sometime, in time you will recover. But whatever you do, just do not isolate yourself....loneliness is a terrible disease, eats you up from inside.

 

[Knight]

Xeta I have felt that way for the last 6 years and I am 16. I have had almost no friends and currently have no friends. I'm always here to talk to

 

[Silence KId]

In my experience you only find girls when you aren't "looking". when I am "looking", I come of as fake and perverted, lol. so mostly for me friends develop into love interests.

 

[Xeta]

I think when I was HS there was a song call "love stinks"lol
It gose like this...."you love her , she loves him, he loves somebody else so U can't just win".

Anyway, I didn't always had a gf when I was in HS or a good protion of my life.
While it might seems like the end of the world when you're single or young. It's not.
Alot of people don't have relationships or a lot of freinds.

Freindship is always nice to have. I wasn't was popular as my sister was. I was always
know as ...you're so and so's bother.lol
Anyway, I did have enough friends . Sometimes I'll go though stages of not having friend
or being alone. I had girls as freinds....If i wasn't so caught up into myself or what
the lastest fashion or being slick hip and cool all the time...I releized that the girls that
befriend me...actaully really wanted me for her boyfriend. She was actaully cute and
smart, Just not popular or flashy... I kind of knew..just young and stupid.

Anyway, i had a heck of a time consentrating on my school work..which is the most important
thing in my life aside from all the peer pressure of being a teenager.

Hine site is 20/20...That quite smart girl that befriended me grew up and filled out into a very beautiful
woman...She's making some guy stupid happy and it aint me.lol

haha i like that part about the sister. that's the way it is with my brother. hes this awesome social guy, and here i am barely able to talk to anyone..

well your story sounds kinda sad. if i knew i had missed something like that, id be over with much grief from that.

 

[Xeta]

Xeta...maybe its because girls like guys who are self confident? Give yourself sometime, in time you will recover. But whatever you do, just do not isolate yourself....loneliness is a terrible disease, eats you up from inside.

well yea i know, but what confuses me is how then can tell that. most people see me as some regular other dude. not someone who fights his emotions on a daily basis. and i try not to isolate myself though sometimes im so down about myself that, since i dont want to commit suicide, i just think its better if i just removed myself from everyone.

 

[Xeta]

I'm always here to talk to

thanks, i appreciate that greatly

 

[Xeta]

In my experience you only find girls when you aren't "looking". when I am "looking", I come of as fake and perverted, lol. so mostly for me friends develop into love interests.

You know.. ive heard that from a few of my friends. i dont necessarily come off as perverted haha but maybe i come off as something else perhaps..

 

[Tramp]

i am picky to a degree, but its still pretty wide.

I think I can identify with this. I usually like girls who are intelligent and have a creative side to them. However, it seems as if all girls that meet that description are far far away. I have been talking to a girl on msn lately and she is awesome (well at least from what I gather from talking to her online). She has a wide variety of interests, most of which match mine. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet someone similar in real life. I have NEVER been with a smart, intelligent girl. Obviously, there's no point even trying to pursue anything with the one that I chat with because we will probably never be able to meet, and even if we did, the distance would never work out. Besides, she's pretty attractive (physically and intellectually) and will probably rather be with someone who she can see more often anyways.

 

[Xeta]

i am picky to a degree, but its still pretty wide.

I think I can identify with this. I usually like girls who are intelligent and have a creative side to them. However, it seems as if all girls that meet that description are far far away. I have been talking to a girl on msn lately and she is awesome (well at least from what I gather from talking to her online). She has a wide variety of interests, most of which match mine. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet someone similar in real life. I have NEVER been with a smart, intelligent girl. Obviously, there's no point even trying to pursue anything with the one that I chat with because we will probably never be able to meet, and even if we did, the distance would never work out. Besides, she's pretty attractive (physically and intellectually) and will probably rather be with someone who she can see more often anyways.

Yea exactly. That sounds like me. I can never find any in my area, but only a long ways away. And even if so, they're usually with someone else anyways or already are.

 

[anime girlboy]

go to gigs and clubs and events and festivals and things. once you make a lot of guy friends and become part of a group or known around groups, people will start to talk about you and girls will gravitate towards you.

 

[Xeta]

go to gigs and clubs and events and festivals and things. once you make a lot of guy friends and become part of a group or known around groups, people will start to talk about you and girls will gravitate towards you.

hmmm i didn't know it could work that way. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

 

[wah]

In my experience you only find girls when you aren't "looking".

No truer words have been said.

 

[Akira]

go to gigs and clubs and events and festivals and things. once you make a lot of guy friends and become part of a group or known around groups, people will start to talk about you and girls will gravitate towards you.

hmmm i didn't know it could work that way. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

hehe, that is so true! it's common that groups of boys meet groups of girls and sometimes there are sparks.

 

[Xeta]

go to gigs and clubs and events and festivals and things. once you make a lot of guy friends and become part of a group or known around groups, people will start to talk about you and girls will gravitate towards you.

hmmm i didn't know it could work that way. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

hehe, that is so true! it's common that groups of boys meet groups of girls and sometimes there are sparks.

well i sure hope something like that will turn up sometime.

 

[SadRabbit]

Xeta...maybe its because girls like guys who are self confident? Give yourself sometime, in time you will recover. But whatever you do, just do not isolate yourself....loneliness is a terrible disease, eats you up from inside.

well yea i know, but what confuses me is how then can tell that. most people see me as some regular other dude. not someone who fights his emotions on a daily basis. and i try not to isolate myself though sometimes im so down about myself that, since i dont want to commit suicide, i just think its better if i just removed myself from everyone.

Well, don't commit suicide man, its totally not worth it. For girls, you have got to know them really or approach them. Its usually this way for a relationship to start =)

 

[anime girlboy]

you arent going to find a girlfriend walking with your head down and mouth closed... stand sideways to the mirror and pull yourself up straight! look up! walk confidently! and open your mouth, dont ever leave it closed. make a fool of yourself as much as you can, play it down and dont take yourself too seriously.

i hope this doesnt sound too mean, but you when you first meet new people, you cant let them know you're terribly depressed and want to commit suicide, or that you hate life etc. dont be negative. nothing is more annoying than someone without self-worth. everybody has been lonely at some stage in their life, and many people are lonely right now. but dont base your personality on this. you know you're a kind hearted person, that there is goodness inside of you... but people only see what you project when you talk to them, they havent lived your life. for all they know, you could be dangerous or creepy. you're not! show them you're not! show them the light inside you. let them know you're a positive, funny, attractive person and that many people want to be your friend.

dont worry about feeling perverted about approaching girls. you are wanting social contact, whats perverted about that? better looking girls will know instantly why you approached them, dont deny it, but dont make yourself so easily available. they know you've got the hots for them, show them you have the courage and the strength to flirt and make a fool of yourself if need be. if they reject you.. who cares? laugh it off and find another girl. will you shy away or do you have the courage to stand tall and risk being called a fool?

"It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive."

 

[Xeta]

thanks for the advice anime.

let me ask anyone who reads this: will girls approach guys and what are the chances?

 

[anime girlboy]

hell no! they never do. your chances are better if you are positive and act approachable, but you cant rely on them approaching you.