Any lonely gays here?

[Cloud_XIII]

I'm one, obviously. Its hard enough being a social outcast, but when your gay on top of that, it makes things infinitely more difficult. Only one person in the world knows what I am. Probably others have suspected, but that doesn't count. I'm not planning on coming out of the closet any time soon. What would that change? My family already dislikes me, my "friends" already think I'm bizarre, and my love life will likely remain a barren wasteland. I'm sick of this...I'm sick of keeping it inside...but letting it out won't change anything. It will only make things worse. Besides, what man is going to want to carry this baggage around?

Anyone else out there who's gay and miserable? I feel so alone right now...

 

[VanillaCreme]

Since you believe it won't change anything, why not just tell them anyway? If they don't like you now, then it shouldn't make a difference. I think it's sad that being gay makes so much of a difference how people treat you. It doesn't change you, and it has nothing to do with your personality really. It's just a preference of who you'd rather be with. Personally, I'd just tell them, and then tell them to piss off if they don't like it. It's not them and their life. It's you and your life. And they have no right to judge.

 

[Bluey]

Besides, what man is going to want to carry this baggage around?

We all have baggage, its just that we all have different kinder baggage.

I would say this would be a lot of baggage to carry.

How old are you? If your young then when your older and have your own place it might not seem such a big deal what other ppl know about you. I have found that ppl that care for you well still care what ever you tell them.

The one person that knows. He might be a good person to talk to about this? IDK, But if he knows then at least it is someone in your life you can be honest with. Why not ask him if he well go out one night with you to a place where your likely to meet other gay guys? seems to me if you fined the right guy for you then that would be a support for you to tell everyone else in your life.

But really there is no rush. You have all the time in the world and in this day and age I think ppl normally are a lot less ignorant then they was.

And welcome here

 

[Lawrens]

Move to a better town
In all seriousness, I'm sorry you have to go through that, I used to live in Toronto and there were a lot of gay people, one of my friends was gay in school, but who cares, it doesn't matter! It's something personal, it's his privacy, him being gay doesn't change anything, he's still him.

it's just sexual preferences, your family or friends shouldn't dislike you over something like that, it's really such a personal thing that they have no right to even comment on, you shouldn't feel bad or think it's a something people will not "accept", they're not in the position to "accept" it or not, its your privacy and it's your lifestyle.

I'm not gay, but I understand where you're coming from, I understand the pain that it feels like people just doesn't see you as what you are, you shouldn't feel "different" over it because people around you have a different preference, try not to think of it as a baggage so you can lighten up a little, the world is tough enough as it already is, have some pride for yourself, we do a lot of stuff in life that we feel guilty about or pressured on, being gay or being straight definitely shouldn't be one of those stuff, it's part of your life style, its yourself, don't let other people make you feel miserable.

 

[Cloud_XIII]

Thanks guys for the responses. I know it just seems like "sexual preference" to you, but it is a big deal and a lot of people see it as such. I know coming out of the closet is a big and emotional step, and it changes everything. You'd have to know first hand to know what it's like especially if you've been keeping it inside well into adolescence and even adulthood. I will always envy those guys who seem to be "born" gay, completely secure with who they are. I'm not like that, and I've never been secure with anything about myself, least of all my sexuality.

My father left when I was young, and my mother was never close by (she gave me away to my grandparents). When she remarried, she took me back, and I expected to be part of the family I'd always hoped for...he abused me, typical stepdad scenario. My mother didn't do a thing. It seemed day in and day out that he would tell me I was worthless and a nuisance, and I believed him. Finding out my sexuality was not helpful, and it only made my self loathing worse. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I left, went back to my grandparents, who were never anything more than cold and uncaring. Basically that's how life went. The scars remained and I could never let anyone too close. My own mother didn't care about me...why should anyone else?

That's really what I mean by baggage. I feel like broken goods, impossible to love. All my life I felt like an outcast. I didn't belong in my family, and I didn't belong anywhere else. I feel like there's really something wrong with me, how I can't seem to relate to anyone, that life was just some blur and I couldn't make sense of anything. I don't feel good about myself, and everyone sure tried there darndest to make sure I always felt that way. Why would I come out now? Its not like I'm gonna start clubbing and pick out boys like I'm the life of the party. I've never been that person, and I guess I never will. I know I'm extremely depressed, and I have been for the longest time. Loneliness has become so natural that I don't know what it's like to be without it anymore. I can't imagine a relationship, let alone with another man, to last. Who's going to want to put up with all this? I'll just be a burden. Always saying sorry.

I'm 19 to whoever was asking. I'm sorry if I sound too dramatic, or overemotional, but that's just how I feel, how I've always felt. I've never opened up like that to another human being, just bear that in mind. Maybe if I wasn't gay it would be easier, but I guess it would always be a maybe.

 

[Lawrens]

I understand the baggage you're carrying, but I think you should try not to link your past to what you prefer your lifestyle to be, it's going to destroy you, don't let them get in your way of being yourself, try to work at it little by little so you can let yourself be free, so you can have your own life.

I think it takes time to slowly move forward but you should at least not feel bad about your own preference first. I'm so sorry that your family is so uncaring =/, but I'm sure there're a lot of people who share the same view as you do and probably in the same position, don't think no one is going to put up with your burden, the fact your family did not love you doesn't mean you're not deserved to be loved, it's not your fault, it's them.

You're only 19, you have a lot of time to work on it, I think given that background, being gay or not is probably still going to be tough on you emotionally either way.

 

[kjjerm]

I'm bi if that counts for you ;/

 

[evanescencefan91]

I'm bi if that counts for you ;/

same here

 

[kjjerm]

I'm bi if that counts for you ;/

same here

;3 hoorah.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You belong here. I suppose we all do, hence why we even came together in the first place. Believe it or not, someone will love you. You don't seem like a bad guy. I like you as a person, although I think you're a bit negative, when you really shouldn't be. What you went through in life, and what you'll go through down the road makes you stronger. Your mom doesn't know the good son she has. Your step-father, doesn't know the cool step-son he could have had. Your grandparents are missing out on the awesome grandchild.

But don't let them define you. Don't let their negativeness and harshness define your life. If you do, you let them win. People who abuse want to see you down and out, and will go so far as to kick you when you're down. Rise up and don't let them win. You're better than that.

 

[mama_mia_k]

I think that you would benefit from the freedom of expressing who you really are. If you know that you're gay, you've got to let that information out, for your own sake! You should be accepted for who you are, and this is a part of you. And if someone doesn't accept it, then give them time. If they really love you, then they will come around.

Let me tell you something about myself, since I'm new here. I grew up with my grandparents because my real mom had to get away from them to keep her sanity. I was stuck with them. They were emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. I was suicidal at times, always depressed. As I got older, do you know what I found? Myself. I took the time to figure out who I really was and decided that if my family didn't like it, then to hell with them.

I'm not gay, so I can't relate. In fact I've been married to a great man for 6 years. I can relate to feeling different. I was the outcast. The fat girl. The one with different ideas than anyone else. The liberal one in the Bible belt. But you know, I have never been happier than when I was myself. It may take some time to figure out what kind of person you are, and you'll have lots of decisions to make on the way there, and there will be some pain. But you'll only find happiness when you accept yourself.

 

[Bluey]

To accept yourself I don't agree that you necessarily have to tell ppl personal things like that. You could go fro your hole life and not tell certain ppl information like that. Just as long as your happy doing that. But that's just my point of veiw.

 

[flylikeplanes]

I'm bi if that counts for you ;/

same here

;3 hoorah.

Im Bi too