Are guys much lonelier than girls?

[jales]

i wasn't going to but fine I will.

Okay first of all as far as the rights thing goes. It started because someone said that women should be able to buy guys a drink, or hit on guys or whatever. Dispite whatever you'll may be willing to accept if you were to be honest with yourselves (GUYS) you would admit that most guys judge us women on how many men we've been with before getting to you.. while women in general (unless very religious) don't do this. It was even in a thread about guys wanting someone who had not already had a kid, and I was surprised because the women who replied said they wouldnt judge a guy on this yet lots of the men said they wanted someone who had never had a child b4.

Some even said stuff about wishing they were virgins.. point is if you are going to JUGDE us on crap like how many kids we had b4 you or how many men we slept with b4 you. (and dont tell me you dont secretly hope the girl you get was not a slut at some point). N yes I can tell you that we don't think 'If he's been with more than six girls I don't know how serious this can get'. Okay if you going to judge us like this DON'T expect us to be begging you to add yourself the the list.

Also you'll aren't the only one's who judge, females are called whores, sluts and made to feel very badly for going from guy to guy.. by other females as well as there's family members.. so that's my take on the rights thing. It has nothing to do with money.. it has to do with how we are judged, n how much less we are respected when we throw ourselves at you'll. Although I'll admit that we disrespect men who trow themselves at us; but since culturally this is normal (in form such as 'can I get you a drink?') we disrespect them far less.

Next; all that about us being picky and you'll sitting at home playing video games. I have tried to get to know guys.. ALL TYPES of guys.. and the truth is that the video game loners (yea the go through a stage of intrest in females) but you'll also get very closed and use things like video games to shut us out after you'll been hurt. I'm not sure but this is how it seems.

Loneliness is a feeling; we feel it just as you'll do. From what I see men tend to enjoy the company of other men far more than they enjoy our company (once outside of the bedroom) and females aren't like this. I constantly see relationships where women wish that their husbands/ boyfriends gave them more attention or time.
If you'll are trying to say that men are more alone than women and therefore must be more lonely.. that is untrue because loneliness sometimes is NOT about how alone you are.

You'll always say we are the more complicated ones, we think more.. it's harder to connect with people when you think more. Also females judge other females very harshly and it's difficult for girls who don't make the cut to make friends.. with guys you'll accept each other just as you'll are. Sure you'll pick on each other and make not nice jokes but at least there is an acceptance that we just don't give that easily.

So as far as us being less alone I think you are wrong there as well; sometimes it might be easy for us to get men; but hard as hell for us to keep them, so we end up not ever getting attached and guess what we feel LONELY, sometimes we can't make friends, sometimes we have boyfriends but they are to busy with video games to remember us, and sometimes we can't even get men (just like you'll).

In general women have issuse as well; single parent homes where I live are headed by women in allll the cases I know of. And in 90% of the cases I've seen these women never remarry while the men who left them do (over and over again). I'm not saying these women are lonely .. because not having a spouse doesn't mean you are lonely.. what I am saying is that in the end we end up just as alone (spouse wise).

And please remember loneliness is a feeling.. if you really what the answer to this question do a poll.. if more members on this site are male; YOU WIN!

 

[Blue Sky]

And please remember loneliness is a feeling.. if you really what the answer to this question do a poll.. if more members on this site are male; YOU WIN!

Yes, I totaly agree with you. Really the only way to find out the answer here is to do a survey of thousands and thousands of people in different countries, and then you may have some sort of answer.

 

[diamond-dancer]

Oh my god guys, you're all generalising far too much and making this too personal.

Different people are lonely for different reasons. Shouldn't the focus be on why, and how that loneliness can be alleviated?... Rather than who's the worse off?

 

[TalosNB]

I personally think yes it is easier for girls to go out an pick up but that dosent mean there not lonely, take the example of the 'slut' she may have lots of guys or throwing herself at guys but that dosent mean she isnt lonely or troubled, i disagree that males are more lonely than women depression and loneliness are things that strike equally across both sex's its not that guys are lonelier but just that we find it harder to break out of our shells to gain the confidence to go upto girls, and in the end the clubs are probable the worst place to pick up because the girls and guys all judge harsher and to me the clubs are just places where guys and girls are just going out to pick up or for girls to dance to me the clubs are superfishal, and as for men paying attention to there partners its is a ballanced thing yes we should be able to play games on the computer and hang out with friends but never neglecting your partner to much its a balanced thing and comes down to the most important thing in a relationship = communication, i know thats a bit sidetracked but i just wanted to touch on it

 

[jales]

Oh my god guys, you're all generalising far too much and making this too personal.

Different people are lonely for different reasons. Shouldn't the focus be on why, and how that loneliness can be alleviated?... Rather than who's the worse off?

you're right as far as I'm concerned.. i made that very personal. Sorry; didn't really think before posting that..

Really, really Sorry...

 

[Qui]

So, this is just my experience, but I think girls are better at hiding loneliness. When guys are lonely you can usually tell. Well, alright some people can't but they're probably as insensitive as a rock. But girls can be surrounded by tons of friends yet feel so alone deep inside. But a larger number of guys have no friends and are single. Girls are generally better at expressing their feelings to eachother, and guys tend to not talk about it. Even when you can tell just by looking at them that they are lonely.
I think that the majority of the population is lonely inside and social tendancies are making it increasingly worse. But I don't think you can be so general about which of the sexes is lonelier. The thing is that guys and girls are lonely in different ways and react to it differently. So you can't really compare it. That's my oppinion at least.

 

[lonelyloser]

So, this is just my experience, but I think girls are better at hiding loneliness. When guys are lonely you can usually tell. Well, alright some people can't but they're probably as insensitive as a rock. But girls can be surrounded by tons of friends yet feel so alone deep inside. But a larger number of guys have no friends and are single. Girls are generally better at expressing their feelings to eachother, and guys tend to not talk about it. Even when you can tell just by looking at them that they are lonely.
I think that the majority of the population is lonely inside and social tendancies are making it increasingly worse. But I don't think you can be so general about which of the sexes is lonelier. The thing is that guys and girls are lonely in different ways and react to it differently. So you can't really compare it. That's my oppinion at least.

You make a good point. We all tend to think that we are the loneliest, whether we have a significant other who is neglecting us, or if we've never had a significant other and are alone all the time. I do believe that a lot of times girls have to be fake and superficial in order to be accepted, which ostracizes those who cannot conform.

I didn't mean to sound like a hater and I did not want to make this a personal thing. However, I still don't understand why so many women are opposed to mixing with the opposite sex. Most guys, that I know of, would love it if a girl introduced herself to him and tried to make conversation. I personally would. However, if you take a sample of 10 girls, at least 5 would probably not give a guy the time of day if he tried to talk to her. If women are so lonely, why do they do this? Do they immediately assume that the guy is going to try to get into her pants or something? It's very funny to me, because generally the guys they don't talk to are the guys who are not just interested in sex whereas the guys they do talk to are just in it for the booty. Again I'm NOT trying to generalize this is just me simply stating my observations. I think this is relevant to the discussion because a lot of times, women will say how they are so lonely after having a bad breakup from a jerk/abusive boyfriend. Whenever I'm "talking" to a girl I generally try to use my common sense. If I sense that she's a golddigger or selfish, I will stop talking to her. The fact that people are using bad judgment is significantly causing higher rates of loneliness in the population.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Something I heard from a girl friend seems to match this up pretty nicely.

"Guys often have major emotional obstacles or problems, but its usually one thing. Its a single major item that blocks them, that they want to be removed or overcome. For women, its usually a number of smaller emotional obstacles, of which removing one would only cause another to rise up."

So I think that while we boys do feel more poignant, more desperate loneliness, but its more overall enduring and long-term for women. For us, it ends dramatically upon getting that one girl(or whatever goal we set for ourselves). For girls, its a combination of factors.

 

[human_condition]

I don't think that relationships tackle the core problem of loneliness. I believe you have to love yourself before truly loving someone else. Of course being lonely makes people like themselves even less generally, so it's a downward spiral.

I also agree with what IgnoredOne just said.

Being alone doesn't neccersarily mean loneliness.

 

[frey12]

I dont agree with IgnoredOne, I think their is no single major problem, the gender difference isnt that big of a gap. I do think however that woman are their own worst enemies because as Jales pointed out their friends will do such things. Now I personally dont care if a woman sleeps with a lot of people before I got to her. Granted I wouldnt want a child in a relation because of my own personal issues about being in that particular position. But if she doesnt have an STD which applies to both sexes, I could care less who she slept with. I personally find with just one person who I can just say everything to and I mean everything. Then I am extremely happy and not lonely. Also thats only with online to keep me satisfied. But if you dont have that one person constantly then yeah it gets pretty bad. I know that when im in a crowd of however many people is when im at my worst and when im hiding in my apartment not having to deal with anyone then im comfortable and it doesnt get as bad. I used to try going out and about and getting myself to meet people and I just couldnt do it. Now if a woman did that would someone bother probibly. Which probibly leads to the are you choosey forum. To summarize this seemed like it was a battle of the sexes for an answer thats just not answerable. We are all lonely for various reasons and who is more lonely doesnt matter.

 

[JustLost]

You'll have to do it alone then because I don't come here to argue. Your view is that women have equal rights and my view is that we don't. There are things that we go through as women that men could never see and understand. I don't feel persecuted simply because you have a penis. You seem to feel self conscious of the fact though since you are the one who brought it up.

Yes, I am very self conscious about owning a penis. It is a horrible burden to bear. Please make it stop...Help me Lord, please help me!

Except disagree with you apparently.

You're right, I'm a worthless tub of misogynist sewage and should be beaten repeatedly and shot. How dare I disagree with someone who owns a vagina. I am a shameful, unclean thing that should be flogged for my indiscretions.