Are my expectations stupid?

[Revanchist]

I've never had a relationship. Like a legit relationship. I was once really close to someone online but it got weird. So I want to ask everyone who has had experiences with relationships.

Keep in mind I rarely have the chance for one but either way...

HUMOR

People usually think I'm funny, and people mostly compliment my humor by saying things like " You're funny." Is it wrong from me to expect someone to make ME laugh instead of just looking at me and awaiting the next joke? I mean I understand we feel better when someone makes us smile and we await the moment when they do it again, but should I tolerate this annoyance?

CREATIVITY

I expect a decent level of creativity from most people. When I start a conversation about a random topic, and someone says "What?" and looks at me confused or genuinely doesn't like discussing random things, it's a huge slap in the face to me. To explain this better think of the knock knock joke. 99% of people to whom you say " knock knock " will say, who's there etc.etc. I wish people were creative like that and responded with their own thoughts more frequently.

I just like people to want to discuss ideas. I hate it when I get in a passionate discussion about a new idea, and the person sarcastically rejects it. Its suppose to be funny when they say " haha you talk too much " but it's not. It pisses me off.

THRILL IS IN THE CHASE, NEVER IN THE CAPTURE

I adore those little flirts between people. However I had a person directly say, oh hey do you wanna be my boyfriend? It felt so... no. No pleasure what so ever. Meanwhile with others when there is tension built up, you catch yourself thinking " oh i hope they like me ", and yeah I'd become a boyfriend but with time passed. Not just after a 5 minute convo when they decide they like my humor. I don't want people to just shove a stamp on my head that says "boyfriend" and lead a normal life, I want excitement! I want the person to make me smile, to swoosh me off my feet, to surprise me. That to me is the real relationship. Not something like...hey you're good in bed, lets be together so i can ignore you 90% of the time. Thats a fresia buddy more like. Or a friend. I love friends don't get me wrong but this is love i'm talking about.



Please tell me if this is just ridiculous to expect. I used to dream about having a person I can hug and feel safe in their arms and just be like...THANK GOD i met you but is that too much to expect? Will all I get just be some person i can point to and say THAT...OVER THERE...THATS MY PARTNER. Is that it? I really hope not but...Give me your experience please! It's entirely possible I misunderstood the world of love completely wrong.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Personally, I think expectations in any way are ridiculous. Expectations only lead to disappointments. It's hard to have expectations of other people, because they are their own person, they do what they do and you can't control them.
Now, don't get me wrong, you can want certain things from people and by all means set boundaries, but you can't expect them to do any of it.

However, what you are looking for...what you wrote here is not by any means ridiculous. I think it's understandable to want those qualities in a person you're in a relationship with. That includes significant others as well as friends.
I think a relationship is give and take. It's about understanding and compromise. If you have expectations of your partner, are you really accepting him/her as you yourself would want to be accepted?

 

[painter's radio]

Yeah what Callie said.

Expectations aren't really the same as qualities you look for in a partner. You want someone who understands you, someone on your wavelength. Who doesn't?

 

[Revanchist]

Personally, I think expectations in any way are ridiculous. Expectations only lead to disappointments. It's hard to have expectations of other people, because they are their own person, they do what they do and you can't control them.
Now, don't get me wrong, you can want certain things from people and by all means set boundaries, but you can't expect them to do any of it.

However, what you are looking for...what you wrote here is not by any means ridiculous. I think it's understandable to want those qualities in a person you're in a relationship with. That includes significant others as well as friends.
I think a relationship is give and take. It's about understanding and compromise. If you have expectations of your partner, are you really accepting him/her as you yourself would want to be accepted?

I do agree expectations are somewhat ridiculous however i meant of those specific ones in general. When it comes to a certain person i will certainly give them the chance and explore the situation. However i tend to think that i'm mostly incompatible with most people I meet. I completely agree that a relationship should have certain compromises and understandings. in no way am I expecting someone to be the most perfect human being but I just...don't know. I'm glad to know that at least i didn't dream up this feeling of love and that it really does exist. I hope i find it but i will definitely try to be more flexible.