Are On-Line Friends BETTER than In-Person?

[chasingowls]

I have great friends in person and great friends online. To me, neither is better, they both offer something different. Yeah, obviously, if your friend lives hundreds/thousands of miles away from you, you can't go out together, but that doesn't mean they can't be just as valuable as the friends that can. And just because a person can come give you a shoulder to cry on doesn't mean that an online friend can't give you a figurative shoulder. Both have value. I wouldn't trade any of my online friends for anyone in real life and I wouldn't trade my real life friends for anyone online.

It seems like this perspective is becoming rarer, online.

It's so strange to me. Why is a conversation only meaningful if you've met someone in person? Everyone you talk to in writing is still a real person. And a unique one, that can never be replaced. Do people think conversation has no value..? What about the jokes you share, times where you empathize with one another, talk about whatever's going on in your life, talk about your interests and hobbies..? And ok, if none of this has any meaning or value, then why do people spend so much time leaving comments and talking (or arguing) with other people online?

 

[Adamridge79]

As one who hasn't had friends of either ilk in many years, I do kinda like this format better. In real life, if you maybe upset someone, or they didn't like you, one of you is going to be uncomfortable. Here, at least, it's a hardly tangible connection. If person A and I didn't click, then me then talking to person G isn't all that awkward

 

[user 188685]

As one who hasn't had friends of either ilk in many years, I do kinda like this format better. In real life, if you maybe upset someone, or they didn't like you, one of you is going to be uncomfortable. Here, at least, it's a hardly tangible connection. If person A and I didn't click, then me then talking to person G isn't all that awkward

true

 

[Adamridge79]

<<Making people uncomfortable for nearly 9 months...I'll hit the gold standard on 2030

 

[MoonRiver]

I'd say those are just different types of connections each has its pros and cons and can't really be compared. I have some good friends IRL but we don't meet each other that often. Sometimes I miss having online friends with whom I could exchange long, meaningful messages about everything on a consistent basis but I don't seem to have luck to meet those kind of people for long term.

 

[LeeG]

The few online friends I have had over the years eventually ghosted me, or we just ran out of things to talk about, there was one I actually ghosted because he just starting texting so often and it was pages and pages every single day, and it was all about how he couldn't work because he was in so much pain, and his wife treated him badly, and his mother in law lived there and she treated him badly. It just went on and on and I really could not take it. When the volume and length of the messages became so much I would try to change the subject or say something about myself and he would go right back to that. So I stopped responded.

As far as friends IRL I had two really close friends that were my friends since I was very young (over 30 years) both don't really want much to do with me anymore. My one friend if I text him, he will answer right away and he will text with me as long as I say something he responds. Then he's say we really should get together sometime and I think both of us know it's not going to happen. The last time I saw him was over a year ago. My other "friend" if I text her she might text back a day or two later (everybody knows that's how to keep from having to converse with someone, If I text and say "I wanted to see how your doing and whats going on with you". The answer will be something like "i'm fine nothing much is going on". If I don't reach out to them I will never hear from them again, and that's pretty much what I've decided to do now.

So I guess I'm not much help on this post but I thought I would respond anyway.

 

[user 164061]

The few online friends I have had over the years eventually ghosted me, or we just ran out of things to talk about, there was one I actually ghosted because he just starting texting so often and it was pages and pages every single day, and it was all about how he couldn't work because he was in so much pain, and his wife treated him badly, and his mother in law lived there and she treated him badly. It just went on and on and I really could not take it. When the volume and length of the messages became so much I would try to change the subject or say something about myself and he would go right back to that. So I stopped responded.

As far as friends IRL I had two really close friends that were my friends since I was very young (over 30 years) both don't really want much to do with me anymore. My one friend if I text him, he will answer right away and he will text with me as long as I say something he responds. Then he's say we really should get together sometime and I think both of us know it's not going to happen. The last time I saw him was over a year ago. My other "friend" if I text her she might text back a day or two later (everybody knows that's how to keep from having to converse with someone, If I text and say "I wanted to see how your doing and whats going on with you". The answer will be something like "i'm fine nothing much is going on". If I don't reach out to them I will never hear from them again, and that's pretty much what I've decided to do now.

So I guess I'm not much help on this post but I thought I would respond anyway.

What you described in the first paragraph happened to me too. I have an online friend who liked somebody, but he didn't like her back and every time i spoke about something random like gnat crap it would go straight back to that particular topic. In the end i stopped messaging her because we weren't sharing, i was just listening to the same old rope which became very tedious.