are these really bad ideas ?

[Triple Bogey]

thank god I didn't do any these stupid idea's.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I got a couple of text messages from a guy saying:

"I just wanna ease ya mind and make you feel alright so go & tell ya"

And:

"babymama you gone be wit me tonight"

I felt it was pretty romantic, and if it went to the right female's number, I'm sure she would have been pleased with it, too, knowing that her child's father wanted her.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I got a couple of text messages from a guy saying:

"I just wanna ease ya mind and make you feel alright so go & tell ya"

And:

"babymama you gone be wit me tonight"

I felt it was pretty romantic, and if it went to the right female's number, I'm sure she would have been pleased with it, too, knowing that her child's father wanted her.

other men can do things, I can't. Whatever I do, I fail, can't win.

 

[VanillaCreme]

other men can do things, I can't. Whatever I do, I fail, can't win.

Well, I'm not a romantic person anyway. So I'm pretty sure that even if that was meant for me, it wouldn't work.

 

[raincloud]

I would be seriously terrified if anyone did any of those things to me without me divulging my address or anything.

 

[PieBeNice]

That sounds really really creepy and stalkereyish.

You should definitely do it.

 

[sk66rc]

Sending a lady a bunch of flowers ?
Sending a lady a letter ?
Ringing her up

When she hasn't openly giving you her address or telephone number ?

I guess I'm the only one so far to think that those aren't as bad of ideas as everybody's make them out to be? Granted vast majority of women might think they're all bad ideas, or at least questionable... How about changing it up a bit? When you said she hasn't openly given you her address/phone numbers... By that, I'm assuming her home address/phone number? How about her work address? How do you know her? And very close related but I guess slightly different question is, how well do you know her & how well does she know you? Do you guys talk to each other & get along well? If you work with her & get along with her well, it wouldn't be that bad of an idea to have flowers delivered to her desk and/or work station... May be with a simple note attached that says something like, "Thought you looked down a bit the other day... Hope you feel better" type of idea... She may not took you seriously so far but something harmless like that with a hint of interest may not be too bad, or even stalkish...

 

[Triple Bogey]

Sending a lady a bunch of flowers ?
Sending a lady a letter ?
Ringing her up

When she hasn't openly giving you her address or telephone number ?

I guess I'm the only one so far to think that those aren't as bad of ideas as everybody's make them out to be? Granted vast majority of women might think they're all bad ideas, or at least questionable... How about changing it up a bit? When you said she hasn't openly given you her address/phone numbers... By that, I'm assuming her home address/phone number? How about her work address? How do you know her? And very close related but I guess slightly different question is, how well do you know her & how well does she know you? Do you guys talk to each other & get along well? If you work with her & get along with her well, it wouldn't be that bad of an idea to have flowers delivered to her desk and/or work station... May be with a simple note attached that says something like, "Thought you looked down a bit the other day... Hope you feel better" type of idea... She may not took you seriously so far but something harmless like that with a hint of interest may not be too bad, or even stalkish...

she is a customer who comes in the shop I work. I found out her address because she gave me a phone bill which had her address on. I don' t think I know her phone number. I asked her first name. I chat her up when I serve her. I ask her questions and talk about my life. I talk to most customers though. She says 'hello' but that's it. Today I didn't chat her up or talk and I think she noticed. She smiled so I smiled back. I don't know where she works although I know what she does. She may have someone, I have no idea.

I think an anonymous bunch of flowers on Valentines day is something I could do. Of course I wouldn't sign it or admit it was me. At least it's a gesture of sorts.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I would send her flowers, and let her know it was from me. And let her know that I got her address from a bill. If you're going to do something, at least let it be known. Sending her something isn't the creepy part. The creepy part is hiding how you know her information. She may think it's sweet. She may think it's creepy anyway. All I'm saying is let it be known. At least you have a legit reason why you'd have someone's address.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I would send her flowers, and let her know it was from me. And let her know that I got her address from a bill. If you're going to do something, at least let it be known. Sending her something isn't the creepy part. The creepy part is hiding how you know her information. She may think it's sweet. She may think it's creepy anyway. All I'm saying is let it be known. At least you have a legit reason why you'd have someone's address.

I'm not going to do anything because I have given up on her.
Not like she was ever interested anyway. I just didn't get the chance. I can't go round asking women out at work when the manager is watching / listening. I've never seen her away from work. If I was given the chance I would have done something. Another rejection to add to the list doesn't hurt. It's a shame because she seemed really nice, somebody who I would get along with.

 

[My War]

All the old school notions of romance are classed as stalking and/or harassment now days, the idea of continually asking a woman out until she says yes, chasing after her all that kind of thing, that would just freak out a woman and if she knows self defence you could find yourself decked as well.

So yeah, bad ideas.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Another rejection to add to the list doesn't hurt. It's a shame because she seemed really nice, somebody who I would get along with.

She didn't reject you though. You can't fail at something you never made an attempt to do.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Another rejection to add to the list doesn't hurt. It's a shame because she seemed really nice, somebody who I would get along with.

She didn't reject you though. You can't fail at something you never made an attempt to do.

true but she didn't show any interest in me.

in films you see women baking cakes for men
or getting a friend to pass on their number
or arrange to be at the same event / party.

Yesterday was the only day were she has looked at me though. Normally I look at her and she has her eyes looking at the floor. And I have to wait until she looks up to talk and say 'hi'
Yesterday was a role reversal for some odd reason.

 

[Solivagant]

Another rejection to add to the list doesn't hurt. It's a shame because she seemed really nice, somebody who I would get along with.

She didn't reject you though. You can't fail at something you never made an attempt to do.

true but she didn't show any interest in me.

in films you see women baking cakes for men
or getting a friend to pass on their number
or arrange to be at the same event / party.

That's not a rejection though. A rejection is when someone expresses their disinterest after you've clearly expressed your interest to them.

No one is a mind-reader. She doesn't know you or that talking to her was meaningful for you. I wouldn't be able to tell that someone was interested in me just because they were friendly to me. I would figure you probably talk that way to a lot of people, or you are just a friendly person, or something. A lot of people are oblivious to flirting or cautious about reading into things, and it's hard to tell the difference between friendly and interested sometimes. And from what it sounds like, this woman could be a bit shy, so she might require a little extra effort to come out of her shell, and she may not be able to interpret signals very well.

I'm not saying she is interested in you, I'm just saying that nothing you've said you've done so far was necessarily a clear indication of your interest in her, and you really can't categorize it as a rejection until you've done that. The fact that she hasn't baked you cookies or passed on her number doesn't mean she wouldn't be interested in you either.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Another rejection to add to the list doesn't hurt. It's a shame because she seemed really nice, somebody who I would get along with.

She didn't reject you though. You can't fail at something you never made an attempt to do.

true but she didn't show any interest in me.

in films you see women baking cakes for men
or getting a friend to pass on their number
or arrange to be at the same event / party.

That's not a rejection though. A rejection is when someone expresses their disinterest after you've clearly expressed your interest to them.

No one is a mind-reader. She doesn't know you or that talking to her was meaningful for you. I wouldn't be able to tell that someone was interested in me just because they were friendly to me. I would figure you probably talk that way to a lot of people, or you are just a friendly person, or something. A lot of people are oblivious to flirting or cautious about reading into things, and it's hard to tell the difference between friendly and interested sometimes. And from what it sounds like, this woman could be a bit shy, so she might require a little extra effort to come out of her shell, and she may not be able to interpret signals very well.

I'm not saying she is interested in you, I'm just saying that nothing you've said you've done so far was necessarily a clear indication of your interest in her, and you really can't categorize it as a rejection until you've done that. The fact that she hasn't baked you cookies or passed on her number doesn't mean she wouldn't be interested in you either.

your correct in what you say.
I am just a bit pissed off at the moment.
a bit down in the dumps

 

[Solivagant]

your correct in what you say.
I am just a bit pissed off at the moment.
a bit down in the dumps

Oh. I hope things start looking up for you one of these days.

 

[Triple Bogey]

your correct in what you say.
I am just a bit pissed off at the moment.
a bit down in the dumps

Oh. I hope things start looking up for you one of these days.

thanks. I mean my life in general is great.
on the woman front it's non existent !

 

[Batman55]

You can try learning to imitate the ways of guys successful in dating. If "imitation" is too strong a word for you, if it feels like you'd be putting on gloves that don't fit.. I understand. Imitation can also look fake and it doesn't often work.

That's why I suggest "emulation." Look around at other shy or low confidence guys who have had dates, a gf, even a fling. Look at how they carry themselves, and try to think what makes them attractive to other women. Over a long period of time, you might find you can slowly add some of those qualities into your toolkit. (It might be something as simple as changing the way you dress... IME, bland clothing just makes you fade out, whereas more colorful, more mainstream threads will improve notice.)

Just a suggestion.

 

[Triple Bogey]

You can try learning to imitate the ways of guys successful in dating. If "imitation" is too strong a word for you, if it feels like you'd be putting on gloves that don't fit.. I understand. Imitation can also look fake and it doesn't often work.

That's why I suggest "emulation." Look around at other shy or low confidence guys who have had dates, a gf, even a fling. Look at how they carry themselves, and try to think what makes them attractive to other women. Over a long period of time, you might find you can slowly add some of those qualities into your toolkit. (It might be something as simple as changing the way you dress... IME, bland clothing just makes you fade out, whereas more colorful, more mainstream threads will improve notice.)

Just a suggestion.

thanks for the suggestion.

I don't ever go out now (to pubs, nightclubs etc)
when I did I would always go out and buy some really nice clothes. Just to give myself that extra bit of confidence. Not like it did any good.

I am becoming less and less social. I turn down every invitation I get unless it only involves me and one other person.

 

[Case]

I don't ever go out now (to pubs, nightclubs etc)
when I did I would always go out and buy some really nice clothes. Just to give myself that extra bit of confidence. Not like it did any good.

I am becoming less and less social. I turn down every invitation I get unless it only involves me and one other person.

I'm just curious. Are you okay with your social life decreasing, or do you want to be more social?