570rm47
Member
Hey all.
I was invited for drinks by young lady she wasn't dumb when i had been chatting to her for a while txts facebook etc, it was not really the right way to meet at that time but hey im eager to meet people.
So i got there and she was awesome no one else was there except her flatmate who fortunately takes ages to put on her make-up, it was a little awkward but still ok.
As more people arrived i ended up aloof and alone as usual, but i never minded this before its just me and people always still like me even if for some reason i make them feel that they need to be a little further away from me than most others.She drank heavily i did too she was really inebriated, I ahh can really put it away and what i say and do is still fairly close to myself uninfluenced. The things that i had glimpsed in her that i liked she suddenly loathed in herself she was apart from everyone else not as bad as myself she began to use different language dumb it down so to speak. I understand that sometimes vocabulary can be a barrier both ways, but it wasn't with her she never asked wait what does that mean she understood and i appreciated her skill with with these extra literary devices.
Her sharp intellect and cognitive ability that separated her she couldn't turn it off she just couldnt be a part of the others, and all i did once she was drunk was make it worse like looking in a mirror and seeing only what you hate instead of everything.
When i spoke to other woman she was paranoid and jealous made separated from everyone even more so than usual, there was only 3 guys amongst about 10 girls. Later she said i was being weird and different, but of course a little of me is ok, but alot of her and a half bottle of Johnnie Walker on top is not and makes things really hard to deal with, i couldnt get close because of her behaviour. I spoke to her step sister and she just said "messed if i know thats what XXXXX is when she gets on it". When it was time to go to town she was way to drunk and after a bit of help she was persuaded that it was bed time, at which point instead of letting me go she drags me to her bedroom pours more drinks for us starts babbling semi-coherently over a large collage of photos in a frame then grabs me and falls down her bed crying needing comfort i slept in her bed and held her for a little while
I pity her cos she does not love herself and her things that her mind will do for her, i hate her cos she made me feel like honeysuckle and made me question my own uniqueness, that through trials of life including nearly three years in prison i have learned to live with, try being eccentric in a social environment like that its not a word they understand unless you make them. I hate myself because i feel that in some way its not her fault and that i should be in some way more understanding. And worst of all there is something that makes me want to see her again i dont know why i just do.
Why do i feel honeysuckle i was gentleman i had impeccable manners. I have felt as she does in the past but i got over it, why am i suddenly bothered by standing alone at a party again after all this time, Why wouldnt she look me in the eye in the morning. Im no longer a violent person but why does this enrage me. Why does it make me feel so lonely.
I was invited for drinks by young lady she wasn't dumb when i had been chatting to her for a while txts facebook etc, it was not really the right way to meet at that time but hey im eager to meet people.
So i got there and she was awesome no one else was there except her flatmate who fortunately takes ages to put on her make-up, it was a little awkward but still ok.
As more people arrived i ended up aloof and alone as usual, but i never minded this before its just me and people always still like me even if for some reason i make them feel that they need to be a little further away from me than most others.She drank heavily i did too she was really inebriated, I ahh can really put it away and what i say and do is still fairly close to myself uninfluenced. The things that i had glimpsed in her that i liked she suddenly loathed in herself she was apart from everyone else not as bad as myself she began to use different language dumb it down so to speak. I understand that sometimes vocabulary can be a barrier both ways, but it wasn't with her she never asked wait what does that mean she understood and i appreciated her skill with with these extra literary devices.
Her sharp intellect and cognitive ability that separated her she couldn't turn it off she just couldnt be a part of the others, and all i did once she was drunk was make it worse like looking in a mirror and seeing only what you hate instead of everything.
When i spoke to other woman she was paranoid and jealous made separated from everyone even more so than usual, there was only 3 guys amongst about 10 girls. Later she said i was being weird and different, but of course a little of me is ok, but alot of her and a half bottle of Johnnie Walker on top is not and makes things really hard to deal with, i couldnt get close because of her behaviour. I spoke to her step sister and she just said "messed if i know thats what XXXXX is when she gets on it". When it was time to go to town she was way to drunk and after a bit of help she was persuaded that it was bed time, at which point instead of letting me go she drags me to her bedroom pours more drinks for us starts babbling semi-coherently over a large collage of photos in a frame then grabs me and falls down her bed crying needing comfort i slept in her bed and held her for a little while
I pity her cos she does not love herself and her things that her mind will do for her, i hate her cos she made me feel like honeysuckle and made me question my own uniqueness, that through trials of life including nearly three years in prison i have learned to live with, try being eccentric in a social environment like that its not a word they understand unless you make them. I hate myself because i feel that in some way its not her fault and that i should be in some way more understanding. And worst of all there is something that makes me want to see her again i dont know why i just do.
Why do i feel honeysuckle i was gentleman i had impeccable manners. I have felt as she does in the past but i got over it, why am i suddenly bothered by standing alone at a party again after all this time, Why wouldnt she look me in the eye in the morning. Im no longer a violent person but why does this enrage me. Why does it make me feel so lonely.
