So. After a long while, I am back here.
Sometimes I have looked in over the last 2 years or so. Maybe made one or two posts here and there. But most of the time I have, well, tried not to.
In the last 2 years I have lost 51kg (about 110lb I think that is). Am a lot more active, go out a lot more and do more things .... but always alone. The loneliness has remained. Not just remained, but I think it has increased. The other side of the sword really, being out more and around more people, just makes me feel even more isolated and invisible. I haven’t met anyone. Nobody to talk with, share anything with, go anywhere with. Have been using .. and paying for .. dating sites and apps, but still, no replies, no responses, nobody to even chat with.
Yet another therapist ended recently. They don’t know what else they can do to help, but then, I find therapists really struggle with the whole loneliness thing anyway. None that I have been to ... and it is a very, very long list now ... ever understand that someone can be totally without friends. Even then, after months of talking and explaining it, they still think that just saying hello to someone working in a shop should be all the social contact you should be happy with.
So. Here I am. Back here. I have looked for other places on the internet, somewhere where I might fit in, somewhere to feel I belong and am accepted ... maybe, finding someone to connect with along the way. But it hasn’t happened. Even on the internet, the lonely are invisible.
Sometimes I have looked in over the last 2 years or so. Maybe made one or two posts here and there. But most of the time I have, well, tried not to.
In the last 2 years I have lost 51kg (about 110lb I think that is). Am a lot more active, go out a lot more and do more things .... but always alone. The loneliness has remained. Not just remained, but I think it has increased. The other side of the sword really, being out more and around more people, just makes me feel even more isolated and invisible. I haven’t met anyone. Nobody to talk with, share anything with, go anywhere with. Have been using .. and paying for .. dating sites and apps, but still, no replies, no responses, nobody to even chat with.
Yet another therapist ended recently. They don’t know what else they can do to help, but then, I find therapists really struggle with the whole loneliness thing anyway. None that I have been to ... and it is a very, very long list now ... ever understand that someone can be totally without friends. Even then, after months of talking and explaining it, they still think that just saying hello to someone working in a shop should be all the social contact you should be happy with.
So. Here I am. Back here. I have looked for other places on the internet, somewhere where I might fit in, somewhere to feel I belong and am accepted ... maybe, finding someone to connect with along the way. But it hasn’t happened. Even on the internet, the lonely are invisible.