I applaud your energy and effort with women. Just do what feels natural. Read the situation, watch how she moves, if she touches you, if her cheeks flush, basic stuff. Compliments are good but don't overdo it. Also, strong suggestion here, do not dominate the conversation. This has always been a hang up for me and other women I know. But like I said, suggestion. Also, keep it up and don't let the ones that don't work out get you down.
Thanks Claudia and yes I think that's all good advice
I've had two more dates since my last post. Last weekend I had a second date with the girl from my previous post.
I was expecting this date to go really well considering that we both had a good time on the first date.
Unfortunately it was a big disappointment. I was going to use the word failure there but changed it to disappointment. Yes it was a failure in a sense but it did teach me a few important lessons which will help me in the future. So in that way it was a good thing.
Long story short, we had drinks at a bar. I thought it was actually going fairly well at that point. We then decided to leave that bar.
At that point, I suggested going back to my place. She said she couldn't because she had to get up early the next morning. I tried to persuade her a little but didn't persist too much.
We then walked around that area for another 20 minutes or so, just chatting. She then said she wanted to talk about something. She asked me where I thought things were going between us. She said she wasn't sure what the vibe was between us then ended up cutting the date short.
I was honestly caught off guard by this because I thought things were going pretty well. And it was such an abrupt shift in her attitude. She told me she'd have to think about things and whether she wanted to continue seeing each other.
Of course, at that point I knew she'd already made up her mind. But I didn't understand why.
She messaged me the day after saying she didn't feel the connection so she didn't want to meet up again. I wanted to get some feedback so I could better understand what went wrong and her perspective.
I asked her about it and she told me that she just didn't feel like there was much of a spark between us on the second date and she felt like the conversation was a bit forced. I'm sure that was true, although I think there was probably a more to it and she wouldn't tell me anything else. Which was a bit annoying.
This 'rejection' did play on my mind more than it normally would. I think it was harder to swallow because the first date had gone well and she seemed to be quite attracted to me at that point - she said herself she had a really good time on the first date.
When I analyzed the second date later on, I did recognize some mistakes I made and things I could have done better.
My second date was with a girl from bumble last night. This one went much better.
For this date, I was trying to focus on being more relaxed and grounded. I think that was one of my main mistakes in the previous date. We'd gone to a fairly loud, busy bar for drink and I felt like I had to be more high energy to compete with the environment. Unfortunately that doesn't come naturally to me and I think she picked up on that.
So for the date last night, I picked a much quieter bar for drinks where it would be easier for me to be more relaxed and grounded. That definitely worked a lot better.
After getting drinks, I suggested going for a walk to see the view nearby. Looking back now, I could have done that a lot earlier.
At the spot I took her to look at the view it was very quiet with nobody else around so that made it even easier to be more grounded and also get closer to her and build more sexual tension. We sat on a park bench looking at the view and I sat right up close to her.
From there we ended up making out and I did a decent job of building up the sexual tension. I suggested that we go back to my place, which she agreed to. While I didn't explicitly say let's go back to my place to have sex, the implication was pretty clear.
So this was a big improvement from the previous date. And although the previous date did sting a bit, the lessons I took away from that date helped me to have a more successful date last night.
After the last weekend's date I was getting down on myself and having some pretty negative thoughts. But there is a lot to be positive about. I've now brought three new girls to my place just in the last month. That's after not bringing any new girls back to my place all year. So I'm making progress again.
My texting is improving. I'm setting up more dates. I'm learning from my mistakes and starting to have more success on my dates. Definitely a big improvement compared to two months ago. But there is a lot more that I could do better still.