Blue Bayou

[VengeanceBurning]

Been listening to the song "Blue Bayou" by Linda Ronstadt, and it touched something in me. Blue Bayou is actually Heaven, and in the song she's waiting for the day she passes on so she can go there and be with her loved ones again because she is so unhappy here. The song is very pretty and it made me realize how much I hate my life. I tried getting away and starting over, but that failed. I have nothing but pain, and I don't have the strengh to fight it anymore. Everyday is a struggle to function. I'm tired of hurting, tired of being lonely. I really just don't have it anymore, the will to want to go on. I just want to close my eyes and wake up on Blue Bayou.

I feel so bad, I got a worried mind;
I'm so lonesome all the time
Since I left my baby behind on Blue Bayou

Saving nickels, saving dimes;
Working till the sun don't shine
Looking forward to happier times on Blue Bayou

I'm going back someday, come what may to Blue Bayou
Where you sleep all day and the catfish play on Blue Bayou
All those fishing boats with their sails afloat, if I could only see
That familiar sunrise through sleepy eyes, how happy I'd be

Gonna see my baby again
And to be with some of my friends
Maybe I'll be happy then on Blue Bayou

I'm going back someday, gonna stay on Blue Bayou
Where the folks are fine, and the world is mine on Blue Bayou
Oh a girl to call mine by my side, the silver moon and the evening time
Oh, on some sweet day, gonna take away this hurtin' inside
I'd never be blue, my dreams come true
On Blue Bayou

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Rift,

That is a very sad and touching song. I didn't realize that it was about heaven--I thought it was just a place from her childhood in Lousiana or something!

I feel very bad these days, too. I guess I'm really mourning for the life I'll never have. I'll never be the popular kid in school--or even the kid who wasn't totally rejected and on the sidelines, alone!

I'll never be part of the popular crowd in high school....never go to prom with my date in a pretty dress...never have a happy childhood...never have a caring, loving, warm, and non-rejecting father, never have a mother who cares about me enough...never have my 20's back, being thin and fit and attractive rather than the overweight girl on the sidelines, rejected and sad. I'll never never never become a model or actress. (I wasn't interested in being a model for longer than a couple minutes as a teenager. Though I did want to be an actress even out of high school and starting into college. I was in one high school play and two plays in college. I'm actually pretty good, but I am overweight and dont' have a lot of confidence.)

There are so many things I've wanted---a happy childhood, friendships, social acceptance, to be physically attractive, to be confident, to have career success. Instead, I have little to none of them! I'm 31 years old now. Life is beginning to fly by. My husband is a huge dissapointment. My child is horribly spoiled and demanding and naughty. I feel trapped in this suburban life that I never wanted. Life sucks!!!! My one thing has been hanging in there, feeling like SOME DAY my luck will change and I'll find my place in the sun. I'll some how lose the weight, somehow increase my confidence, somehow find career success. But, as the days and months and years tick by, my chances of success are slowly diminishing!