Booze Helps LessLess

[AFrozenSoul]

So this past weekend I learned that booze does not help with my shyness as much as I thought. Well it does when I am around people I am comfortable around... however when it comes to strangers I think it gets worse especially when those strangers are attractive females.

I guess this is more of a rant than anything but I Guess here is too for input as well. Anyway, this past weekend I attended my college homecoming. First time I have been to it since I graduated 3 years ago. So part of this involved me being able to go out to bars and get drunk with the guy I went with and his friends. Which was a first for me, given my lack of drinking in college and my policy about drinking and driving.

Anyway like I said while I was out and about I encountered strangers. More often than not no matter what they said, no matter how basic, I always found myself unable to talk back. I would just sort of mumble or say the first set of words that came to my mind. Even worse when things got to awkward I would simply walk away... literally.. I would just stand there stare dumbfounded and then just get up and walk away.

I don't know... I guess I just sort of felt like wasting space here. Maybe I am also a bit bummed that I now realize booze won't be a crutch to help me escape my social anxiety... I am probably also pretty pissed off that I could not see situations and take advantage of them. <_< in one place I asked for advice on how to improve the situation... or more what did said actions mean. Most of the guys replied with... well answers that I wanted to hear... I guess that is all I will say. Hell I was only blindsided once... how come I could not be more social?

Anyway thanks for the space and time.

 

[sacul001]

"Maybe I am also a bit bummed that I now realize booze won't be a crutch to help me escape my social anxiety"

You, my friend, are making me jealous. I wish that I could be around the stuff without drinking every last drop. I guarantee you that you are more attractive to these girls than the average drunken frat boy- I'll bet that some even think your shyness itself is attractive to them.

"I am probably also pretty pissed off that I could not see situations and take advantage of them"

I know how you feel. I hate dating for that reason. Something that helps me sometimes is knowing how much people like talking about themselves. Keep them talking about themselves and their business and you don't have to rush to say something( in most cases you have a good five to ten minutes before they even expect a response).

You aren't alone, man.

~Luke

 

[SophiaGrace]

Coping With Anxiety and Panic

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.
2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.
3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.*
4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.
5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.
6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
7. Notice that when you stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.
8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.
9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.
10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no need to hurry.
11. Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties.
*Breathe

 

[AFrozenSoul]

"Maybe I am also a bit bummed that I now realize booze won't be a crutch to help me escape my social anxiety"

You, my friend, are making me jealous. I wish that I could be around the stuff without drinking every last drop. I guarantee you that you are more attractive to these girls than the average drunken frat boy- I'll bet that some even think your shyness itself is attractive to them.

"I am probably also pretty pissed off that I could not see situations and take advantage of them"

I know how you feel. I hate dating for that reason. Something that helps me sometimes is knowing how much people like talking about themselves. Keep them talking about themselves and their business and you don't have to rush to say something( in most cases you have a good five to ten minutes before they even expect a response).

You aren't alone, man.

~Luke

I guess... too bad my shyness will keep me from being around them. I find I have a hard time saying anything around... well anyone.

Coping With Anxiety and Panic

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.
2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.
3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.*
4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.
5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.
6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
7. Notice that when you stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.
8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.
9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.
10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no need to hurry.
11. Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties.
*Breathe

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Sean]

Coping With Anxiety and Panic

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.
2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.
3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.*
4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.
5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.
6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
7. Notice that when you stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.
8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.
9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.
10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no need to hurry.
11. Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties.
*Breathe

I wish I could apply this when i'm anxious .

 

[sacul001]

Coping With Anxiety and Panic

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.
2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.
3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.*
4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.
5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.
6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
7. Notice that when you stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.
8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.
9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.
10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no need to hurry.
11. Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties.
*Breathe

I like that, sophia. I always called this detrimental process a "snowball of thought", like a small ball of snow rolling down a hill collecting more and more weight until it is large enough to wreck a home, lol. the "home" being my self esteem or well being in general.
http://www.alonelylife.com/images/smilies/club.gif

To the OP:
Just start small. Dont over extend yourself by going out with the sole intention of hooking up with some chick, because if you don't you'll be disappointed in yourself. Just go and have fun. If you can do it, apply some of the advice provided here when the opportunity arises and try harder not to get down on yourself for being who you are. Youre just as important as everyone else in this world and deserve to be happy.

~Luke

 

[AFrozenSoul]

To the OP:
Just start small. Dont over extend yourself by going out with the sole intention of hooking up with some chick, because if you don't you'll be disappointed in yourself. Just go and have fun. If you can do it, apply some of the advice provided here when the opportunity arises and try harder not to get down on yourself for being who you are. Youre just as important as everyone else in this world and deserve to be happy.

~Luke

:S Yeah I was not looking to hook up this weekend... guess that is why females were inerested... or something.