Breakup BS

[kamya]

OK. So in my experience, whenever someone decides to breakup with someone else they like to invent a lot of BS and lies about the actual reasons they don't want to be in a relationship anymore. Or they say something about what they want and contradict themselves by doing the opposite a few weeks later. Basically, they lie.

My problem is when I find out I've been lied to I can't help but point it out. This is usually either right away or a few weeks after the relationship is over. And when I do point it out and ask for the truth, they get mad at ME. Like it is my fault for pointing it out. And I still never get the truth out of them. They don't even feel like they did anything wrong.

At this point I don't even care about the person as a romantic partner or even a friend anymore. I just get obsessed with the fact that they were full of honeysuckle. And it really makes me angry. I start to resent the person and wish bad things for their future.

It makes me crazy thinking about all of the things that they probably lied about during the relationship that I never noticed. I just don't understand what is so hard about telling the truth. Especially when it comes to sensitive things like a breakup. It doesn't save anyone's feelings if they can easily find out that you're full of honeysuckle.

I'm always genuine and sincere and don't lie about things. Especially important things. I don't understand why people do it. It makes no sense to me. I know I shouldn't let it bother me when it happens but come on. WTF people?

So my question is. Have you ever lied to your partner about why you wanted to separate? Or lied to them about anything major in general? If so, why did you feel that was the best way to go about it? Do you regret it or do you feel that it was the right thing to do?

I know it isn't required for someone to give details about why things aren't working out for them. And it they want to split then they can. But its like tipping. You don't have to tip but if you don't you're an *******.

 

[annik]

You will never get the truth out of someone about a break up. End of. I drove myself mad over my last one because absolutely nothing added up and in the end you just have to let it go. I doubt it would make anyone feel better even if they did know the truth.

Plus yes I've lied, mostly for attention when what I should have done is just left because clearly I wasn't given two shits about. I feel like utter crap for a lot of the things I said / did. Though I found out after the breakup I was lied to more than I knew. That tit for tat doesn't make my behaviour better. Just proved what a screw up the entire relationship was.

I've learnt from the mistake though and I doubt I'd lie to any great extent again.

I've never lied about a break up because I've always been broken up with.

 

[Chasm]

ive never been broken up with n when asked y i was leaving?
i told the truth
not that ne1 can evr accept the truth
but i say it neway
i lied once 2 sum1 n it took their life
its sumthing i promised i would never do again
hard lesson 2 learn
i think evn tho ppl lie about a breakup?
(or so ive heard they do n can imagine them doing)
if u knew ur partner?
u can pretty much tell y they broke up
no matter wut they say
tho most would probably nevr admit it

 

[kamya]

@Chasm, My problem is that I never see these things coming. I just get blindsided. Maybe I just suck at seeing signs, or I trust what people say too easily. I can accept the truth and usually accept whatever they tell me as long as it isn't a blatant lie. The problem is they get exposed sooner or later.

@Annik, It sucks that you didn't feel wanted in that relationship. I could see some motivation to lie for attention. You're right though, it's better to just get out of the relationship. I do usually end up letting it go. It mostly just gets to the point where I'm so disgusted that I don't even care anymore.

 

[jjam]

Be stronger. Be beyond all this BS that's floating around out here. I'm not going to say that they want you to feel angry and bitter because it really doesn't matter if they do or don't. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. I'm just going to ask you - what do YOU want to feel? As a good hearted being, what would you want others to feel, including those who have mistreated you?

 

[gelnn]

Usually relationship will end because the mutual feeling isnt there anymore... it is natural... so make the breakup mutual too... that way both sides wont feel so hurt... just simply ask them about the reason of breakup... I am a man... and if I have a girlfriend who wants to break up with me because she had found someone who is better than me, I will gladly let her have her way as she had found a better happiness...

 

[kamya]

I do ask them the reason. That's where the lies and the BS comes from. =P I also am not afraid to let people go if they want to go. It's just the lies that mess me up.

Thanks for your responses do far doods. More are welcome

 

[Ak5]

Everybody lies, no matter if in a relationship or not; granted, if in a relationship there should be way less lies or none at all, but that will rarely be the case.

Also, perhaps they lied to you so they don't hurt your feelings even more?

 

[kamya]

Nice sig.

 

[Chasm]

@Chasm, My problem is that I never see these things coming. I just get blindsided. Maybe I just suck at seeing signs, or I trust what people say too easily. I can accept the truth and usually accept whatever they tell me as long as it isn't a blatant lie. The problem is they get exposed sooner or later.

i hear that a lot really
sumtimes i evn wnder if ppl KNOW y theyre going LoL
or @ least have these xpectations of things being perfect
n when theyre not
then theyre unhappy
"im unhappy bcuz its not perfect"?
nah
they wont say that
so they cook up all this junk that makes no sense
n its hard 2 learn 2 "c the signs" w/o getting **** ass paranoid
ur right tho
the lies always come out

 

[Ak5]

Nice sig.

Why thank you, cause it's true.