Called a "creep" at my workplace

[ardour]

The manager's a woman along with most of my colleagues. It's in a university... Not exciting and not a typical male occupation.

I've been 'nice', said hello etc. before to diffuse situations when there's been some misunderstanding with coworkers, but that's not a good idea for this situation, and when it ivovles nasty insults why give up dignity and grovel?

because i learned quite some time ago that people are more likely to screw you over if they feel that you are somehow INVESTED in your relations with them. i am speaking about in the work world, of course. in the past, when i've went out of my way to "smile" or "be pleasant" toward a female coworker (literally just to be friendly), i've received the same superbitch response.

If someone loathes you it's common for them to try to make you appear incompetent and/or a "problem" person with regards to work. We're all invested.
Fortunately she's not in my department, BUT if it gets around that I'm this or that in a mainly female workplace, well ...guess the rest.

i don't work daily with ANY women. and i'm thankful for that fact..

have to admit at this point...*envy*

just act aloof around this chick. it's probably your best defense. she will give up hopefully and decide to bully somebody else who appears to be more "fazed" by her attempts. your other option is to come out, guns blazing, and go right after her. to report her for harassment, namecalling, and the like. depending on how professional your work environment is though, this could possibly end in your being homeless and hungry and your boss's shlong inside the girl.

I'm not "around" her, but she seems to be continuing to slag me off with another girl in their office. There's some serious hatred there. As you say "risk her continuing and escalating until she forces her hand and gains the upper hand against you" / or
Not sure about a complaint though, there's no proof of anything. There's also a risk of being hit with a counter-harrassment claim if I go down that road.

 

[Loser#1]

There is a difference between a creep, and a jerk

I've been called a jerk many times, but never a creep. I think you should take a good look at how you interact w the staff. The way you look at them, and talk or do not talk to them. Her opinion of you as a creep is not hers alone. Their are other people who do not speak to you anymore, so they probably echo her feeling. It's a big problem to make anybody uncomfortable in a work environment. If I were your boss we'd be having a serious discussion

 

[putter65]

I got called a 'tosser' once.

I still find it funny !

 

[Trent]

There is a difference between a creep, and a jerk

I've been called a jerk many times, but never a creep. I think you should take a good look at how you interact w the staff. The way you look at them, and talk or do not talk to them. Her opinion of you as a creep is not hers alone. Their are other people who do not speak to you anymore, so they probably echo her feeling. It's a big problem to make anybody uncomfortable in a work environment. If I were your boss we'd be having a serious discussion

you'd be more concerned that he made someone uncomfortable than you would that this girl is actively name-calling and harassing in the workplace?

wow, sounds like you've thought this out really well.

 

[ardour]

There is a difference between a creep, and a jerk

I've been called a jerk many times, but never a creep. I think you should take a good look at how you interact w the staff. The way you look at them, and talk or do not talk to them. Her opinion of you as a creep is not hers alone. Their are other people who do not speak to you anymore, so they probably echo her feeling. It's a big problem to make anybody uncomfortable in a work environment. If I were your boss we'd be having a serious discussion

Surely this is a rark-up or joke?

Assuming you're serious...
If someone's uncomfortable it isn't through any action, 'looks' or otherwise innapropriate behaviour of mine, so it's not my problem.

Perhaps I came across as cold or whatever. That doesn't justify being publicly condemned at the place I earn a living. Just plain nasty.

Going to take offense at your comments. You're judgement sux so you would make a useless boss.

 

[Trent]

Surely this is a rark-up or joke?

that was my impression too. seems like the kind of person who likes to kick someone when they are down. there is no shortage of them in this world.

 

[Loser#1]

No bro.. I'm being dead serious. If you've been deemed a creep by more than one person at the workplace it's unfortunately probably you.

Not trying to kick anybody who's down, just give an honest objective opinion.

Also... I said how u look at the employees, not how u look physically

 

[ajdass1]

There is a difference between a creep, and a jerk

I've been called a jerk many times, but never a creep. I think you should take a good look at how you interact w the staff. The way you look at them, and talk or do not talk to them. Her opinion of you as a creep is not hers alone. Their are other people who do not speak to you anymore, so they probably echo her feeling. It's a big problem to make anybody uncomfortable in a work environment. If I were your boss we'd be having a serious discussion

Surely this is a rark-up or joke?

Assuming you're serious...
If someone's uncomfortable it isn't through any action, 'looks' or otherwise innapropriate behaviour of mine, so it's not my problem.

Perhaps I came across as cold or whatever. That doesn't justify being publicly condemned at the place I earn a living. Just plain nasty.

Going to take offense at your comments, hoss. You're judgement sux so you would make a useless boss.

Yes, it was unprofessional of her to go and say that in front of all her colleagues.

But wow, you got really defensive.

Listen... sometimes your actions can make other people uncomfortable. Even if you don't realize it, yes, it is your problem. If she says you're a creep it might mean that you did act creepy. Maybe if her coworkers agree with her it means they also think you're acting creepy. Disclaimer: I AM NOT CALLING YOU CREEPY. I don't have enough information to make any judgement about you either way. I am saying that maybe you need to take a good, objective look at how you're acting and not completely disregard different viewpoints just because they don't agree with you.

 

[ardour]

No bro.. I'm being dead serious. If you've been deemed a creep by more than one person at the workplace it's unfortunately probably you.

Not trying to kick anybody who's down, just give an honest objective opinion.

Also... I said how u look at the employees, not how u look physically

Nobody I work with has called me that, or appears to have thought that.

Put simply: They sit near her. They are her friends. They were probably influenced by her outburst.

That would be the most likely explanation.

You seem quick to take sides. Perhaps you're the kind of person who would join in slagging someone off without knowing them, thinking it would give you some credit with a group of people you want to be 'in' with.

---

There is a difference between a creep, and a jerk

I've been called a jerk many times, but never a creep. I think you should take a good look at how you interact w the staff. The way you look at them, and talk or do not talk to them. Her opinion of you as a creep is not hers alone. Their are other people who do not speak to you anymore, so they probably echo her feeling. It's a big problem to make anybody uncomfortable in a work environment. If I were your boss we'd be having a serious discussion

Surely this is a rark-up or joke?

Assuming you're serious...
If someone's uncomfortable it isn't through any action, 'looks' or otherwise innapropriate behaviour of mine, so it's not my problem.

Perhaps I came across as cold or whatever. That doesn't justify being publicly condemned at the place I earn a living. Just plain nasty.

Going to take offense at your comments, hoss. You're judgement sux so you would make a useless boss.

Yes, it was unprofessional of her to go and say that in front of all her colleagues.

But wow, you got really defensive.

Listen... sometimes your actions can make other people uncomfortable. Even if you don't realize it, yes, it is your problem. If she says you're a creep it might mean that you did act creepy. Maybe if her coworkers agree with her it means they also think you're acting creepy. Disclaimer: I AM NOT CALLING YOU CREEPY. I don't have enough information to make any judgement about you either way. I am saying that maybe you need to take a good, objective look at how you're acting and not completely disregard different viewpoints just because they don't agree with you.

You wouldn't have the right to make a judgement about me anyway, simply because I've done nothing to warrant it.

Nor do you appear to understand the meaning of "creep" (an odious or detestable person) or it's connotations.

The use of casual insults in general implies a person has a toxic personality. I don't do that (insult people for little or no reason). Many people don't.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Get new job. Problem fixed. The end.

 

[Loser#1]

Rdor

Not at all.... I feel when I walk into a place i'm the funniest guy in the place, the best looking guy, and have a very alpha personality. I have never been the kinda guy to follow anybody, whether a group or otherwise. I'm a very objective thinker and always think about how something I may say or do would impact another. If anything I'd probably try to get to know you, make you feel comfortable, as well as provide an objective opinion.

Im sorry if I've offended you. I just think if more than one person view you a certain way, it could possibly be the way you interact w coworkers. Just my opinion

 

[ardour]

Get new job. Problem fixed. The end.

Why should I have to?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Okay I was thinking further about this situation. Let's say rdor was school-aged and one of his schoolmates said he was creepy. This would be bullying. Its a different way to look at it.

 

[perfanoff]

So what's a creep? As I understand it, it's a brand to somebody who appears like he can be high on the psychopathy scale i.e. appears unpredictable and so potentially dangerous. People avoid interaction with "creeps" because they are afraid of them.

A lot of people who do not express their emotions easily are branded like that. Whether you don't react to a big emotional event.. or do not gesture as much.. or (lol) get caught staring at a woman's rack without approaching her. Then there are some people who truly are sympathetic to others but just like keeping their own emotional and mental world to themselves. My point is that only you know exactly who you are. But appearances matter and you can always go the extra mile to engage in smalltalk and other niceties.

Anyway, has the situation blown over yet?

---

Okay I was thinking further about this situation. Let's say rdor was school-aged and one of his schoolmates said he was creepy. This would be bullying. Its a different way to look at it.

Yes, it would be bullying, unfortunately as we all know ,uncalled for verbal abuse happens to both kids and adults alike. Maybe adults are just a bit more discrete about it.

 

[Kat]

Sometimes one negative person can draw everyone else into gossiping and speaking negatively about people in the work place. It could be your behavior (verbal/nonverbal communication). Maybe it's her. But either way you have to solve it within yourself and be polite regardless. Document behavior like this on your own by keeping a record of dates, times and people involved, what was said and what was done. You can limit conversation to a greeting and only work related topics. You don't have to be her friend but you should treat her in a professional manner.

 

[Ijustwish]

I WOULD NOT ignore such a shitty action.

Don't let fabricated beliefs that you are a creep fester in people's minds!

I haven't read thru the entire thread - but I would talk to her and talk to your boss because you have got to put this flame out. That, if you don't wanna talk to her because it could potentially trigger her to ramble on what a psycho who are (maybe she's connected or whatever); go straight up to management.

Who knows what she'll be doing next? Spreading gossip about how you're a stalker next or psycho or crazy or bad at your job or bullying her or perverting her blahblahblah.

It seems like she already has an agenda against you...there's a chance that you may have offended her without knowing or whatever but she is a TOTAL ***** for insulting you and also pulling support for herself from co-workers.

I found that while women use the word for various reasons...the most common that I've seen is they use it for a perverted stalker or a guy that is interested in them that the woman does not like etc.

I mean, seriously...don't let this slide...shut it down asap. If you let it go, she'll keep doing it and doing it and there will be a foundation of all of these weird beliefs of you from others and it'll just keep on getting bigger and bigger and you'll feel worse and worse at your job...

You OWE NOTHING TO HER...NO MERCY!

No matter what - STAY PROFESSIONAL ALWAYS!!! Tell your boss you feel she is trying to interfere with your work with unfounded name-calling etc and that is it not professional to do so and that you want the workplace to remain a positive place to be in etc...stay professional in any interactions with her...she's the psycho one lol...

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What in the world is it with women calling guys creepy?

I have gotten this before, and all I do is say "hello." I don't want to start a gender war, but I think it has a lot to do with physical attractiveness, or perceived physical attractiveness of the other person.

Creepy is to women what the b word is to men. They just use it as an insult, without even thinking about how it will affect the guy...many times, it can lead to depression and/or suicide.

 

[Sci-Fi]

People just toss words around like they are just words. They don't think about how they will resonate with another person, because they mean nothing to them. I have a friend who you could call her a sl#t or wh#re jokingly and she didn't care. But call her a blonde bimbo and her claws would come out, joking or not, and you better already be running.

 

[Oldyoung]

I would start looking around for other jobs. Not saying you should give up your current job already, but making yourself see other options more clearly should help you through it, and give you a head start if the situation goes out of proportions.

That she called you 'creep' is bad enough, but the fact that she's turning people against you.. She's a low person. Whoever hired her made a mistake. Such persons can ruin an entire workplace.

 

[Dynasty]

Most of the people where I work are ok although there are some very vindictive people as well.

Today I was giving my opinion on something at a meeting and this guy next to me repeatedly kept on sniggering. I felt like turning around and asking what the problem was. I guess I just spoke too frankly for his liking.