Can people really change?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If they see nothing wrong with their life, they won't change.

Or if they are afraid to change or get out of their comfort zone.

Was that directed at me, or am I misreading?

 

[Felix]

Is it me or are there 2 types of "change"?

There are changes that are "natural", or to be more correct, subconscious, and just happen when you're going through life.

And then the changes that are conscious, those carried own from your own awareness. Usually when you look at yourself and you don't like what you see or just feel like you want to improve.

So, it can be easy to change if your environment leads you in a certain direction. We are all shaped by our surroundings really, we take in what we grew up with. Making a conscious shift is harder cuz we got to put a lot of ourselves, a lot of creativity into it. It's something you need to build for yourself from inside out.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The only thing I could change, in regards to relationships, is being more proactive in pursuing women.

I do everything else right. I talk to people. I have conversations. If someone talks to me, I am open to talking to them. I am friendly. I generally have a neutral face when not smiling, but that's my natural face, and I can't change that. It doesn't mean I'm unhappy.

Part of me assumes that, if someone doesn't want to pursue me, I don't feel worth being pursued. As in, they're not worth it. I guess I just don't want to walk up to a woman, introduce myself, and face the possibility of being shot down, if there is a remote possibility that she will make the first move, and I will know for certain that it will work out.

As far as other changes go...I suppose I could exercise more, read more books (although I do read a lot), do more with my time than code and write songs and stories, etc. I don't get out that often, but I'm an introvert, and generally prefer staying in.

 

[ladyforsaken]

If they see nothing wrong with their life, they won't change.

Or if they are afraid to change or get out of their comfort zone.

Was that directed at me, or am I misreading?

Not at all, Muse. I'm not one to judge what sort of situation you're in. I was just speaking on general terms based on my experience with people... and my past as well.

 

[Ignis]

Absolutely people can change. But it needs to be something you REALLY want. If you're not dedicated to it 100%, you'll fail. I can promise you that.

My best friend used to be very similar to me, he was incredibly shy (In-fact, much more than I am now) terrible around people and used to have really low self-esteem, was quite chubby.
When he was maybe... 16, the two of us joined a group committed to helping youth with problems whether it be depression, homelessness or anything in-between. In that year, he changed almost completely.
When he came out of there 2 years later, he was no longer shy. He was going out to parties, socialising with everyone, and his group of friends increased more in a week than it had the past 10 years of his life, he was fit and in shape and loving the transformation he'd worked towards.

He sought to change something about himself he really didn't like. He didn't like that he was a shy person, he didn't like that he wasn't able to communicate how he really felt.
Now he's the guy I go to when I need something done. I need him to talk to someone for me, he'll do it. I need him to scout out a girl for me, he'll do it.

I've got a lot of respect for him for doing that. He really didn't like something about himself and did everything in his power to change it, and he's never been happier. All I can ever think is "good for him."

Yeah, people can change. Don't expect it to happen overnight, and don't expect someone else to be able to change you - It probably won't happen.
Also, don't expect every change to be a positive one. You need to be careful you're not making a change for the WORSE rather than the better.

 

[Cerebralis]

People are changing every second, you percieve new things, new experience, new everything, even if everything you do is same its still not actually and you change all the time.

The new feeling is a change. The thing you have done million times but you are doing it a day older than yesterday is still a change for good or bad. It is all stored in your personality and will make impact on your life.

You can force a change or let the things change you, you can co op with the change. Possibilities are limitless actually.

Yes people can change and dont have a choice really

 

[Hisilarn]

Absolutely. When I was around your age I had the same problem, and I did change. These days I'm close to 40, and I need to change myself again (even if it's too late to save my relationship, which was the most important thing in my life).

So yes, yes you can. And you should, don't be the clever but silent guy.

 

[Earth2Astral]

Of course we can all change! This is the difference between a child and adults. There's nothing more frustrating than hearing an intelligent adult state"that's just me , like it or lump it" Surely the statement should be " I can't believe I'm reacting like that, something I need to work on!" Simple things like putting post it notes on the visor of your car to remind yourself to, "chill, stay calm, be peaceful" to remind yourself to not get angry road rage, or if you have a temper, or anxiety etc, write a "B" on your hand , I used to do this to remind me to take a breath , remember to breathe whilst trying to stay calm, also having something to replace the negative self talk , for example, when my ex husband would start to rant about stuff not really important or pertinent, instead of buying in to his stuff, I would say over an over in my head "Om shanti, Om shanti" which means ."peaceful soul" I found myself able to block out his abuse and stay calm .........after about 200 attempts, it does work but is hard work, a bit like working with kids, the average amount of times to tell them something like, get your lunchbox out of your schoolbag, at a guess I'd say Is about 200
Just life
Om shanti