dukey said:
I was and still in love with my former housemate. She is 21 and absolutly beautiful, me, I'm a 36 year old blue collar worker.. She teased me and played with my emotions for 4 straight months. It was torture but I always came back for more. She'd always talk about this boy or that boy. It killed me, I lost 50lbs!! Well she got a cell phone and I told her I'd add her to my plan. Big mistake. She has moved away now but we still talk or text daily. I feel awful when she doesn't contact me. Of course I looked at the cell phone records online and see the late night texts back and forth with one of these guys. It is tearing me up!! I want to tell her it was a mistake to put her on my plan and cancel the phone. This will probably end our contact all together. I know this is the right thing to do. I went to far for this girl. What does anyone out there think?? I need a cooler head's opinion. THANKS
Dukey, try and not do this to yourself. It aint' worth it. It's hurtin nobody but yourself. cancel it tomorrow if you have to, or throw that darn phone away, either one is better than what you'r doing to yourself right now. Cancel the dang phone service. all it takes is a phone call. (I know it's easier said than done, just know your situation isn't going to improve until you do).
My ex wife came in one afternoon and said, I'm filing for divorce, 2 hrs later she was gone, forever. I knew things had been "strange" for the last 6 mos. of the marriage, but it was a movin' target. I just couldn't figure out how things had gotten so weird. She had her mail forwarded to her new address in CLT. But, one day, her cell phone bill came here by mistake. it sat on the counter for a month. I never even really even thought that much about it, "I'll just mail it to her". But, for some reason, I cannot say why, I decided to open it to see if there was some clue, anything, to help me to understand what was going on w/ her. She had been talking to one of my co-workers, who lives in TX, anywhere from 3-5 hrs a day, everyday, for the last 6 mos. That got me to snoopin' around..., it turns out he'd been coming in to town, from TX, and stayin' at the holiday inn 4 blocks from the house.
I know this guy. I wanted to kill him. absolutely. I know that sounds "macho" or whatever, but the rage I felt is indescrible. (I didn't kill him, btw, lol) I've talked w/ other guys since (Heck I HAD to man!). You ain't crazy for feeling the way you do. But, drawing it out? The results are the same, you're just puttin' it off. lol (I don't mean to laugh, but I'm laughing w/ you because I can see, looking back, how dang HARD it is. It will get better Dukey. It DOES get better. Those feelin's your havin', they won't stay that intense. they'll go away after a length of time. (It's been just over a year since my wife left. Ain't perfect, but oh my god...well, at least I can feel more feelings now).
The sooner you can let it go, and put it behind you, the better off you will be. She's "in control", that is to say, she's doing things how/when/where she wants to. It's tough because she's been "processing" her feelings throughout the time you were together, on her timetable. Now? You think she's suffering? The sooner you put it behind you, the better off you'll be...imo
I still have to rant from time to time lol, but, even that grows old...negative energy, not worth it