After 3 years I still miss my ex

[Hawx79]

It has been 3 years that my ex broke up with me and I still miss her terribly. Not a single day passes without thinking of our times together and what I could have done differently.
We had very nice moments together and even planned to get married.
I had my faults I admit, I didn't always appreciated her enough at that time and I only wish I could go back in time and give her all the attention and love that I could give her.
I had tried to reach out to her after the brake up and found she already had moved on and had a new boyfriend. I was devastated and she ended blocking me. I have no idea how she is doing now.
What can I do to get over her? I also tried to find a new girlfriend but I haven't succeeded in that, and afraid I'll be alone forever while paying the price for my faults.

 

[Unsigned]

I still miss and think about girls I knew from many, many years ago.
I think we never totally get over some people.
It does wane with time, though.
Hope you are able to find someone. Good luck.

 

[Walnut]

I agree that it’s normal to carry a torch for old flames. I don’t think it should be easy to get over them.

I try to work my life this way. Any partner I may find is going to want to see someone live a happy (somewhat independent) life. I need to handle my responsibilities and still make time for hobbies and fun things.

No one wants a relationship with someone who can’t be happy by themselves. (Something I really, really, really, really used to struggle with)

The best way to get over someone is to start living your best life. These days for me it would honestly take a special person for me to risk sharing my peace with. It still sucks to be alone but I honestly find reasons to smile every (maybe not every single) day. A partner needs to add to your peace, not create it.

 

[Murakami_1]

Hi, may I know how long you have been together?

Also, there is no easy way to get over a breakup. Keep yourself busy, maybe? Distract yourself when thinking about her.
Have you talked to anyone about this? I am sending support!

And the worst thing you can do is think in negatives If you don't focus on love it will come on your path, at least I always say to myself focus on yourself and your healing and it will be alright!!

 

[okidoke]

We miss things because there is a void. Simple. The void needs filling. Not so simple. You can beat yourself over the head about it and keep sulking about your lost love and nothing will change, or you move on and learn from your mistakes and be better for the next one. For whatever reason, it wasn’t meant to be. Take it as a learning experience. Don’t waste your life.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I think I had a formula for how long it took me to get over a past relationship. I think it was something like 1/3rd the time we were together...

I think a certain type of man, will _always_ miss his past relationship, until he loves another; because the mind just can't seem to fathom it being possible to love anyone else. Just kind of a weird quirk of the pair-bonding-male-mind.

You forget what new love feels like because it's gone and can't forget what old love felt like.

When I look back, during times where I felt deep and profound pain, in missing what was gone... There's a certain beauty to be had there, so long as you don't let the circumstance make a desperate man out of you. To be so close, in thought, mind, and emotion, to such an exquisite and beautiful feeling, 'to love another deeply,' is in a way, to always be close to love.

Love is a beautiful thing for one to be close to, even if it's in it's absence. Stay close to it. Lots of beautiful things can come from a well nursed longing...

...painful as it may be.

Just be sure to come up for air now and then. There are many aspects to life. Don't let tunnel vision blind you to the beauty residing out on the edges of your unexplored vision.

 

[Hawx79]

Hi, may I know how long you have been together?

Also, there is no easy way to get over a breakup. Keep yourself busy, maybe? Distract yourself when thinking about her.
Have you talked to anyone about this? I am sending support!

And the worst thing you can do is think in negatives If you don't focus on love it will come on your path, at least I always say to myself focus on yourself and your healing and it will be alright!!

We had been together for 2 years. It may be short but it was an incredible time for me. She was also the first girlfriend I ever had. Whenever some bad event happens to me now, I'm wishing she is with me giving me strength. Now it feels like I need to carry all the loads of life on my own.
I had a few dates after her with other women, but they could not compete against her anywhere near. Since my mind was still with my ex, nothing happened with those dates. She was the perfect woman for me, we fitted so well together like 2 missing puzzles that fit.

 

[Murakami_1]

We had been together for 2 years. It may be short but it was an incredible time for me. She was also the first girlfriend I ever had. Whenever some bad event happens to me now, I'm wishing she is with me giving me strength. Now it feels like I need to carry all the loads of life on my own.
I had a few dates after her with other women, but they could not compete against her anywhere near. Since my mind was still with my ex, nothing happened with those dates. She was the perfect woman for me, we fitted so well together like 2 missing puzzles that fit.

It sounds like you are using her as a sort of coping mechanism for things. Not very healthy, as you are probably thinking of her in a kind of idealized way.

It sounds like you need to work on yourself, and then you will probably forget about her as a result.
I am wishing you good luck.

 

[okidoke]

We had been together for 2 years. It may be short but it was an incredible time for me. She was also the first girlfriend I ever had. Whenever some bad event happens to me now, I'm wishing she is with me giving me strength. Now it feels like I need to carry all the loads of life on my own.
I had a few dates after her with other women, but they could not compete against her anywhere near. Since my mind was still with my ex, nothing happened with those dates. She was the perfect woman for me, we fitted so well together like 2 missing puzzles that fit.

I hate to be cruel, but blah blah blah. If she was perfect she’d still be yours. First girlfriend, fulfilled your dreams etc etc, it’s all the excitement of new experience, but it’s bullcr@p dude. You’re crippling yourself. And making yourself unattractive to new women in your life. Stop it. Move on from her. I bet you any money in the world that if you got back with her it would turn to cr@p in no time. Just live life without even worrying about being with someone. Be 100% self sufficient. When you live life like you don’t need anyone for your happiness, that’s when people want to be with you.

 

[NotThrivingStillSmiling]

trying not to laugh here but im 37 and still trying to recover from a gf i was with for 3months 15yrs ago, since then ive had a few 2yr relationships, a 3yr relationship and maybe x2 1yr relationships, but they are all sticking plasters on the open wound. i know thats not entirely helpful, but love can hurt. like an utter biatch

 

[Punisher]

I still miss the love of my life. Short, pale skin, black hair, slim, massive tits, sexy South African accent blending in to the Welsh accent, loves Michael Jackson, heavy metal, pizza, Christmas, and agreed with my political beliefs. Apart from being an atheist and eating animals, my perfect woman. I ghosted her when she asked for my new number, something I regret, but I will find her again when I am ready.

i know thats not entirely helpful

Same. Just wanted to let it out.

 

[okidoke]

…….but I will find her again when I am ready.

You’re pretty confident that she’d have you back. Atheism and veganism are two pretty big obstacles as well.

I recall having a chance to go out with my first love again some time after we broke up, and I was so looking forward to it, but when we were traveling along our way to a party, I suddenly realised that it was a mistake. We didn’t talk much after that and eventually we didn’t talk again, ever again. I still reminisce occasionally of the good moments and feelings, but my sense kicks in and knows we’re different people.

 

[Punisher]

You’re pretty confident that she’d have you back. Atheism and veganism are two pretty big obstacles as well.

I would say 50/50. I will find out soon. She is a normal atheist. Doesn't believe, and that's the end of it. No whining about religion. And I don't really care if people eat animals, it's just not for me.

 

[RiceCrispie]

Well this may well sound pretty unromantic but I was rejected once by a guy I had a crush on, and someone told me to picture him on the toilet everyday for a month. Needless to say it worked for me. But, mine was unrequited. No idea how you get over someone you loved who also loved you back.

Sorry for your pain guys.

 

[Punisher]

Well this may well sound pretty unromantic but I was rejected once by a guy I had a crush on, and someone told me to picture him on the toilet everyday for a month. Needless to say it worked for me. But, mine was unrequited. No idea how you get over someone you loved who also loved you back.

Sorry for your pain guys.

I like to pretend women don't poo

 

[RiceCrispie]

I like to pretend women don't poo

Yeh, lots of guys do. They put them on pedestals. I do with the men. It’s caused me much suffering. I know we are different in some ways but just knowing that I do idolise them helps me to see them suffering just like us, in kind of way.

It’s crazy what we do to others in our minds. But we are blinded I suppose by all the glitter.

 

[Unsigned]

I like to pretend women don't poo

My last SB I took care of for 3 years.
The second to last time I saw her...I passed out drunk before she got to my place.
And she spent 30 mins calling me on the cell, and banging and kicking my door, before I woke up and let her in.
From my perspective, l though "well...if she didn't want me to get drunk, she shouldn't have showed up so late (10:30 PM)".
But looking back, that was the 2nd to last time I saw her and her cute little fluffy chihuahua.
So yeah...I overlooked a SLEW of her faults, and I just expected she would overlook one of mine.
No dice.
I'm 100% better off without her...but I am still distrubed over how it ended. 10 months later...still disturbed...like keeps me up at night disturbed...even though I am much better off.

 

[Capn Wannabe]

It has been 3 years that my ex broke up with me and I still miss her terribly. Not a single day passes without thinking of our times together and what I could have done differently.
We had very nice moments together and even planned to get married.
I had my faults I admit, I didn't always appreciated her enough at that time and I only wish I could go back in time and give her all the attention and love that I could give her.
I had tried to reach out to her after the brake up and found she already had moved on and had a new boyfriend. I was devastated and she ended blocking me. I have no idea how she is doing now.
What can I do to get over her? I also tried to find a new girlfriend but I haven't succeeded in that, and afraid I'll be alone forever while paying the price for my faults.

Mate, I know *exactly* how you feel. For me, it's been almost four years. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.

 

[Hawx79]

Mate, I know *exactly* how you feel. For me, it's been almost four years. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.

Glad someone understand my pain instead of insulting me for it.
I think the best cure for us to find new love. But fate doesn't smile upon us.

 

[Capn Wannabe]

Glad someone understand my pain instead of insulting me for it.
I think the best cure for us to find new love. But fate doesn't smile upon us.

I'm not interested in new love. Tried it a few times but it was nothing like what it was with my ex. Truth be told, I'd rather be single for the rest of my life.