xAtrocityxTony
Member
Well, how to start...I'm asexual. It's something about me that I have kept undercover for a long time. From friends and family. It is something I continuously try to come to terms with, and yet I cannot do so due to the stress it brings when I think about the impression it might have on others.
I am completely respectful of the preferences of others whether they are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual; the way I see it "to each their own"; but unfortunately, there are people out there that are so enraged about this topic.
For those who don't know, asexuality in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of interest in and desire for sex. I also see it as "looks don't matter". What I really care about is personality, someone I can connect with. Not "getting some". I enjoy romantic things that would make most guys my age puke and laugh at me about my "manliness", and its depressing. What's wrong with wanting love over sex?
The problem arises is that I am a 17year old senior in high school. I am stuck in a generation where it is socially acceptable where sex is the rage and the "cool" thing to talk about / do. It makes me really uncomfortable when I hear guys talking about a girl in a ~certain manner~ that most of you can guess, and vice-versa. Most of my friends do not know much about asexuality, but when I happened to "mention" it when we were talking about orientation, they absolutely ridiculed it... It makes it really hard to tell my friends if that's their reaction. As for my family, my parents always say "Have you found that special girl yet? " Not person, it is automatically assumed I should be "straight" My parents are friends with a homosexual couple so they don't see it as a problem, but if either my younger sister or I were not heterosexual, they would be "disturbed". You would think that my sister and I would have something to relate but she is on a similar stance as my parents. She is heterosexual and always jokes about what my orientation is since I have never told anyone. She has a bisexual friend but mocks me if I was anything but heterosexual...oh the hypocrisy in my family!!!! I wanted to note even the homosexuals and bisexuals are harassing each other about orientation and it saddens me. Why can't we all just accept each others differences...
My only sanction of relief is on an online chat-room I am active on. There are people there that understand me and don't ridicule me. But even then the time I spend with them is merely a fraction of the time I have to spend with people who's ignorance of others preferences astonishes me.
I want to voice out the truth during my last year of HS so I can clear my mind before entering the world, but there is this aching feeling that my life at home and at school would become a nightmare.This may seem like a rant but it's something that has been bottling up in me for many years. Why am i so different... I can only wonder.. how can I deal with this?
I am completely respectful of the preferences of others whether they are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual; the way I see it "to each their own"; but unfortunately, there are people out there that are so enraged about this topic.
For those who don't know, asexuality in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of interest in and desire for sex. I also see it as "looks don't matter". What I really care about is personality, someone I can connect with. Not "getting some". I enjoy romantic things that would make most guys my age puke and laugh at me about my "manliness", and its depressing. What's wrong with wanting love over sex?
The problem arises is that I am a 17year old senior in high school. I am stuck in a generation where it is socially acceptable where sex is the rage and the "cool" thing to talk about / do. It makes me really uncomfortable when I hear guys talking about a girl in a ~certain manner~ that most of you can guess, and vice-versa. Most of my friends do not know much about asexuality, but when I happened to "mention" it when we were talking about orientation, they absolutely ridiculed it... It makes it really hard to tell my friends if that's their reaction. As for my family, my parents always say "Have you found that special girl yet? " Not person, it is automatically assumed I should be "straight" My parents are friends with a homosexual couple so they don't see it as a problem, but if either my younger sister or I were not heterosexual, they would be "disturbed". You would think that my sister and I would have something to relate but she is on a similar stance as my parents. She is heterosexual and always jokes about what my orientation is since I have never told anyone. She has a bisexual friend but mocks me if I was anything but heterosexual...oh the hypocrisy in my family!!!! I wanted to note even the homosexuals and bisexuals are harassing each other about orientation and it saddens me. Why can't we all just accept each others differences...
My only sanction of relief is on an online chat-room I am active on. There are people there that understand me and don't ridicule me. But even then the time I spend with them is merely a fraction of the time I have to spend with people who's ignorance of others preferences astonishes me.
I want to voice out the truth during my last year of HS so I can clear my mind before entering the world, but there is this aching feeling that my life at home and at school would become a nightmare.This may seem like a rant but it's something that has been bottling up in me for many years. Why am i so different... I can only wonder.. how can I deal with this?