So lately i've been battling with the fear of pushing people away. I'm so afraid of saying something or doing something that will drive a person who i'm getting to know in the other direction. Part of me thinks I have commitment issues because of my past experiences with others and due to the family environment I have been in. I was amidst friends a few days ago and I felt really detached-as in not really involved or heard or if heard then just ignored. I just felt really lonely even amongst friends. Has anyone ever felt this way before?
I started seriously thinking about this and how it might relate to this particular person who I am trying to get to know. I feel like I have commitment and communication issues and i'm really trying to come to terms with them. I think the problem is that I just don't know where to start. I don't want to get too involved, yet I still want to know him. I'm battling a certain part of me that just really wants to let loosed, to take things how they come/are, but I don't want to fail, get hurt, be rejected, and really in the end I don't want to feel even more lonely than I have. I often wonder if I will ever be happy, or ever be satisfied/fulfilled in terms of a loving relationship. I mean if I was feeling low amidst friends, whats the likelihood I would be happy with a significant other? This scares me. I don't want my insecurities to get in the way and dictate who I am, the problem is how do I come to terms with them.
I started seriously thinking about this and how it might relate to this particular person who I am trying to get to know. I feel like I have commitment and communication issues and i'm really trying to come to terms with them. I think the problem is that I just don't know where to start. I don't want to get too involved, yet I still want to know him. I'm battling a certain part of me that just really wants to let loosed, to take things how they come/are, but I don't want to fail, get hurt, be rejected, and really in the end I don't want to feel even more lonely than I have. I often wonder if I will ever be happy, or ever be satisfied/fulfilled in terms of a loving relationship. I mean if I was feeling low amidst friends, whats the likelihood I would be happy with a significant other? This scares me. I don't want my insecurities to get in the way and dictate who I am, the problem is how do I come to terms with them.