i dont know if this is the right place to talk about this but, i took a girl out for the first time in a long time, so we came back and ended up making out and cuddling. We undressed and were about to have sex and my erection just completely went away and i just couldent keep it going and i ended up not having sex because i just coulden't get hard. I AM attracted to women, NOT men. I dont know why this is happening, the only thing i could think of is that im just gay and don't realize it at all. This is incredibly embarrassing and no one would understand. I dont want to be gay, i love women, i think theyre beautiful, why is this happening to me? im only 20, not 50
could i be gay and not feel or realize it?
- Thread starter pearl92
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If you are comfortable with dating women and feel the attraction to them then you are not gay. Not uhm... "Getting in position" is something that happens to a lot of men all the time. It has something to do with being nervous and not being able to relax yourself in said situation. If your body can't relax then how could it be able to do a rather sensual and close act with another person. And the pressure of getting it back up again is of course counterproductive aswell. Next time you should just try not to think too hard about it and let yourself go. Nobody expects you to try to break some world records in bed.
Of course if you have a feeling you could feel more attracted to men actually then you should try to do some soul research for yourself
Of course if you have a feeling you could feel more attracted to men actually then you should try to do some soul research for yourself
There could be a lot of reasons why you couldn't perform, anxiety, nervousness, a simple lack of attraction to those specific women. I am pretty sure you would realize it if you were attracted to men, mainly in that you would have been sexually attracted to at least one man by now.
D
DesertWolf
Guest
Yeah, you were probably just too anxious (common problem, especially for first timers) or not sexually attracted enough to this particular person, rather than the whole gender.
Sexual orientation is about more than just sex. If you were gay I'm SURE you would've realized by now. Penises are funny things, nerves can be a real boner kill and you can get a hard on just when it's least appropriate. Of course, the men in movies and porn never have trouble with erections... but real sex isn't like that. Try not to beat yourself up about it. In fact she can probably sense how much of a hard time you're giving yourself. Have you talked to her about it? How did she react?
well she was watching me the whole time trying to get hard and get a condom on, pretty patient for the most part. But I wasn't shy or hesitant in any way shape or form. We kissed, cuddled, and jerked each other off pretty well. And I was hard for the entire time. But as soon as I was ready to get it in, as I put a condom on my erection just died instantaneously. I was able to have intercourse for about 60 seconds for the most, but after that it just didn't work cause I just wasn't hard enough. Its like my mind is all like lets do this but my penis is saying no
kamya
Well-known member
It's nerves. You aren't gay. Was this your first time btw? It's pretty common to have hangups the first few times.
Also you say this is your first time going out with a girl in a long time. If you masturbate too roughly it can desensitize your penis and make vaginal intercourse a lot less stimulating. It's not permanent, just don't choke it so tightly for a while.
Also you say this is your first time going out with a girl in a long time. If you masturbate too roughly it can desensitize your penis and make vaginal intercourse a lot less stimulating. It's not permanent, just don't choke it so tightly for a while.
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
it's called....erectile Dysfunction.
*serious face*
Yus. this is important. Don't choke the peen.kamya said:just don't choke it so tightly for a while.
*serious face*
MadMonkè
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nope. totally normal... you just need to break the ice.. or get comfortable...
its very different to be in the nude with someone you dont know... am i alone?
it happened to me once also... girl got upset... lol...
but we talked through it... she was patient... and also very curious...
we overcame the problem and its all good once you get comfy....
not all guys are like the light switch... all the time..
its very different to be in the nude with someone you dont know... am i alone?
it happened to me once also... girl got upset... lol...
but we talked through it... she was patient... and also very curious...
we overcame the problem and its all good once you get comfy....
not all guys are like the light switch... all the time..
this was my second time ever having sex with someone and my third time I have ever had a female encounter in my life, period. The first time was bullshit cause i was a noob and I didn't know what I was doing. The girl slept over 2 times till she friendzoned me and continued on with her life. We didn't have sex. Most likely cause i didnt know how to kiss or where to touch her to stimulate her. She was absolutely beautiful and so sweet and understanding to me, too bad i messed it up. I regret it still to this day and would do anything to get her back into me cause ive changed so much since then but its whatever life goes on.
Anyways responding to everything else yes I masturbate just about everyday, sometimes twice a day since I don't get to have sex too often cause im extremely shy and socially inexperienced with girls. However I wasn't uncomfortable being naked in front of her or anything like that. I really wanted to have a good sex but everything was all ready except my erection. Im gonna try to not masturbate till I see her again probably soon hopefully this will help this problem cause ill be more ready.
Anyways responding to everything else yes I masturbate just about everyday, sometimes twice a day since I don't get to have sex too often cause im extremely shy and socially inexperienced with girls. However I wasn't uncomfortable being naked in front of her or anything like that. I really wanted to have a good sex but everything was all ready except my erection. Im gonna try to not masturbate till I see her again probably soon hopefully this will help this problem cause ill be more ready.
Wow once a day or sometimes twice? What are you 13? No wonder you couldn't get it up. I don't know why that would make you think you are gay though. Now if you find yourself looking at guys more than women and fantasizing about them that might give you reason to. Laying off waxing your pole as often should help with that.
MadMonkè
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chances of you being gay doubles (or more) if you are homophobic
but... yeah you might not be used to having a new stimulus... a girl this time haha... jk
sometimes i fear the same thing tho... masterbating is fun and all... sometimes its a necessity... but it trains the brain to get hard for certain stimuli
maybe u were not uncomfortable... but too anxious for some action haha jk only cuz u r getting some... which is a good thing right?
but... yeah you might not be used to having a new stimulus... a girl this time haha... jk
sometimes i fear the same thing tho... masterbating is fun and all... sometimes its a necessity... but it trains the brain to get hard for certain stimuli
maybe u were not uncomfortable... but too anxious for some action haha jk only cuz u r getting some... which is a good thing right?
S
SophiaGrace
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MadMonkè said:
How lovely.
Sci-Fi said:
well. i do have the mind of a 13 year old. I was incredibly socially delayed i didnt understand what anything about sex was till I was like 16-17. I went to a special ed school most of my school life, 6-12. So I pretty much am a 12-13 year old trapped in a 20 year olds body, sadly
D
DesertWolf
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Sci-Fi said:
Come on, let's not stereotype. Some people have a stronger drive than others. Doesn't mean he's immature.
S
Seosa
Guest
Probably nerves, or (without sounding crude) if you've participated in too much self-enjoyment through porn over the years, you can suffer when you come to have actual sex.
Probably performance anxiety. Happened to me at my first time.
Try not masturbating for while. You'll get to a point where you'll break down a wall using raw determination to have sex with a woman.
Many guys online claim that they had ED issues, until they stopped masturbating to porn for a few weeks/months and then it cleared up. It can desensitize you to real stimulation, and real women.
Try not masturbating for while. You'll get to a point where you'll break down a wall using raw determination to have sex with a woman.
Many guys online claim that they had ED issues, until they stopped masturbating to porn for a few weeks/months and then it cleared up. It can desensitize you to real stimulation, and real women.
