lbstanley70
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2011
- Messages
- 65
- Reaction score
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First off, I want to say thank you to all of you who offer advice to me when I am in the mood to post. I know I don't respond very much to your comments but I do appreciate your comments and observations and I really do read and take to heart what you say. This site is a place for me to share my frustrations and as most of my friends have very little idea about what ails me, this site is really the only place I can truly share what I am feeling. I am thankful that some of you are out there reading what I have to say to and trying to help me improve my life. I really do appreciate it and I am thankful you are trying to help. Thank You
My ex was home for the holidays and had told me several weeks ago she wouldn't see me but this week she texts me and says she wants to hang out on Saturday. Well, I text her back yesterday (Saturday) and let her know I am in town at 1 pm and I get nothing. I text her at 11 pm and tell her I miss her and wished I could have seen her and she texts back she was sick and didn't feel like like hanging out. Today she asks what I am doing and we sort of agree to meet before she heads back out of town and then she texts and says she isn't feeling and will just head back to where she lives.
I didn't ask her to hang out. I didn't ask her anything but she threw it out there and then she pulls it back and I feel like such a dumb ass because I swear she has a camera in my head and knows exactly how to manipulate me and even when I don't talk to her, she hits me when I am thinking about her and it gets old and what sucks more than anything is right now I know there is nothing I can do about it but complain and post on this site because I don't have the stomach to do what needs to be done (which is walk away and never turn back).
I get so frustrated sometimes at my lack of action. I am a man of action, not afraid to take chances but she paralyzes me and it goes against every bit of my dna yet I am the one who allows it to happen. I know I am the fool but she affects me in so many ways. I have been thinking about her hair, her wrists, her chin, her hazel eyes, her little fingers which I have held so many times (she is a petite woman) and her pouty lower lip which I loved to kiss. She wears this amazing scent that lingers in my nostrils and mind forever and it smells like heaven to me and when I am by someone who is wearing the same perfume, my mind wanders like a leaf in the wind and I am dumbstruck for a time. How I wanted to gaze into her eyes today and breathe in her scent and person. She moves me in so many ways and I can honestly say, no one, not even my beautiful ex wife, captured my imagination like my Pita (pain in the ass). And yes that was her nickname. She brought out the best in me and now all that lingers is a shell of a man trying to find himself in a deserted house he wrought with his own hands.
Sorry for my long diatribe. I am a bit out of sorts and my only release is here. I gave you guys the short version...
My ex was home for the holidays and had told me several weeks ago she wouldn't see me but this week she texts me and says she wants to hang out on Saturday. Well, I text her back yesterday (Saturday) and let her know I am in town at 1 pm and I get nothing. I text her at 11 pm and tell her I miss her and wished I could have seen her and she texts back she was sick and didn't feel like like hanging out. Today she asks what I am doing and we sort of agree to meet before she heads back out of town and then she texts and says she isn't feeling and will just head back to where she lives.
I didn't ask her to hang out. I didn't ask her anything but she threw it out there and then she pulls it back and I feel like such a dumb ass because I swear she has a camera in my head and knows exactly how to manipulate me and even when I don't talk to her, she hits me when I am thinking about her and it gets old and what sucks more than anything is right now I know there is nothing I can do about it but complain and post on this site because I don't have the stomach to do what needs to be done (which is walk away and never turn back).
I get so frustrated sometimes at my lack of action. I am a man of action, not afraid to take chances but she paralyzes me and it goes against every bit of my dna yet I am the one who allows it to happen. I know I am the fool but she affects me in so many ways. I have been thinking about her hair, her wrists, her chin, her hazel eyes, her little fingers which I have held so many times (she is a petite woman) and her pouty lower lip which I loved to kiss. She wears this amazing scent that lingers in my nostrils and mind forever and it smells like heaven to me and when I am by someone who is wearing the same perfume, my mind wanders like a leaf in the wind and I am dumbstruck for a time. How I wanted to gaze into her eyes today and breathe in her scent and person. She moves me in so many ways and I can honestly say, no one, not even my beautiful ex wife, captured my imagination like my Pita (pain in the ass). And yes that was her nickname. She brought out the best in me and now all that lingers is a shell of a man trying to find himself in a deserted house he wrought with his own hands.
Sorry for my long diatribe. I am a bit out of sorts and my only release is here. I gave you guys the short version...