Dammit...

[Brian]

So apparently I still fear big groups of people I don't know well.

I saw my brother-in-law at his job today and he told me to come by this evening and visit. So I did about 30 minutes ago. I got there and went to knock on his apartment door, but looking through the blinds and listening I could tell him and a bunch of his friends were in there playing video games.

I don't really know most of his friends. I've maybe really talked to three of them once or twice. And frankly I'm not a console game type of guy.

So the instant I went to hit the doorbell, I couldn't. I immediately started thinking of how awkward it was going to be and how vastly different I am from his crowd of friends. I couldn't even summon up any positive thoughts. I stood there for a minute probably before hopping his porch and getting back in my car.

I was a bit teary the way back, but now I'm here. Again.


I thought I was over this. I hope this isn't a relapse of my anxiety. Up until this point I've been OK meeting people in medium groups...but then again, most of those were friends of coworkers or people within fire/EMS who share my professional interest. Maybe I never conquered it like I thought?


I don't know. Maybe I should go back...but I have work in the morning...argh.

Not good. >.<

 

[Red_Apple]

Your incident reminds me of my 1 hr. lecture presentation. It was in front of the professor and over 30 students. I was so nervous, but a couple of minutes after I started talking, I wasn't so anxious afterwards.

I think you conquered it, but relapses occur when you get nervous/anxious again.

 

[Brian]

Your incident reminds me of my 1 hr. lecture presentation. It was in front of the professor and over 30 students. I was so nervous, but a couple of minutes after I started talking, I wasn't so anxious afterwards.

I think you conquered it, but relapses occur when you get nervous/anxious again.

Yeah, I think it has to be a relapse just because I don't -know- them and there really wouldn't be any common ground. Maybe that's just the next hill to climb...because I am fine meeting new people, as I found recently when I started college classes. I also had the chance to participate in a group debate where I felt relatively confident, even enthusiastic.

I think I'd go over there again and just make myself do it, except now it's late and I've been getting friendly with a bottle of wine. I've never really drank before but I just turned 21 so I figure I might as well try it.

Lessons learned:
1. Wine is kinda gross till you've drank about a quarter of the bottle
2. This isn't nearly as fun as everyone makes it out to be
3. Dizzy.

 

[sloth4urluv]

Dude, if you still got time, grab a case, head over to your brothers house and play some games. Shouldnt be too hard to find something to talk to them about.

What type of wine you drinking? Im not too big of a fan of red, white or white zinfandel is good.
Btw wine hits your really fast compared to other alcoholic drinks, but you burn it off quicker too. Dont drink too much too fast

when I drink wine I feel like hugging everyone.

 

[Red_Apple]

[/quote]
I think I'd go over there again and just make myself do it, except now it's late and I've been getting friendly with a bottle of wine. I've never really drank before but I just turned 21 so I figure I might as well try it.

Lessons learned:
1. Wine is kinda gross till you've drank about a quarter of the bottle
2. This isn't nearly as fun as everyone makes it out to be
3. Dizzy.
[/quote]

I also drink too when I get nervous. I always think it's going to relieve the nervousness.

 

[Brian]

I think I could definitely hug someone right now. Like a cop or something, even. But I like our cops anyway so maybe that doesn't count.

I just kinda bought the bottle yesterday, to try it. The label says Bardolino, and claims to be from 2006.

I think I should eat something.

 

[sloth4urluv]

Does for me if I get enough of it, I stop carring what other people think about me, and usually have a good time.

 

[sloth4urluv]

I just kinda bought the bottle yesterday, to try it. The label says Bardolino, and claims to be from 2006.

Yeah, thats a red, id try a white next time. White is sweeter, you usually drink it when having like seafood or something, but I still like to drink it when I eat steak

You should eat something, some yummy sourdough bread

 

[Estreen]

I just mixed my own little drink, but no buzz. >.> I have quite a high tolerance, and I don't drink much, so it's not because I'm an alcoholic or something, lol. But it takes me a good few (3-4) drinks before I feel a buzz, and then one or two more to get a lil' drunk. Must be the Scotch-Irish blood in me.

It's good though, because I'm usually the person who drives, so I can have a drink or two without having to worry (if necessary), not that I make that a habit anyway in the first place.

As for the anxiety, I've done that before; decided to bolt at the last minute like that. What I've come to find, is that sometimes you've just got to force yourself to at least make an appearance, then tell yourself just 10/15 minutes, then you can come up with an excuse to leave, but I find that I often stay there longer than I intend to, and most times than not, I make friends with someone there or have a really good time and just utterly surprise myself. It doesn't always happen, but I feel better for the fact that I at least tried.

 

[Brian]

I'm not dizzy anymore at least. The few times I've drank, I've been surprised, because I'm not a heavy guy. I always thought I'd be wasted easy.

But yeah, I should've just gone in and like you said, gone with the "Just stopped by for a few" deal. That's worked in the past to get me to do something and then sometimes I stay longer. Chances are even I probably sorta knew at least two people there. I think Apple's right, and for some reason I just had a little...'snap'.

One of us around here needs to become a psychiatrist...

 

[Estreen]

Ah well, it happens to the best of us.

And better her than me. Lol.

 

[SleepyKid]

yes for some reason i also feel incredibly uncomfortable around large groups of people.
I don't know why @__@ I always feel as though disaster is bound to happen~
blah...>__>;;...
but I don't mind groups of 3 or 4 people. >.<
I guess that's why I bail out of parties!

 

[Unacceptance]

Next time just yell out "DEATH OR GLORY!" and bash down the door running in there screaming like a viking.

 

[AlertKid]

Next time just yell out "DEATH OR GLORY!" and bash down the door running in there screaming like a viking.

mwuhahaah excellent! =w=