It was Mine
Well-known member
Alright, I'm brand new to the site and felt curious and wanted to vent to people who may understand. My venting will be the same as many but this one's my story.
I'm in my early twenty's and spent two years common law with my partner. To spare the long story we ended months ago, at the time I felt it was right but just hours after I knew it was wrong but it was too late. She slept with a number of my friends during a weekend and destroyed what felt to be everything...everything. You spend your whole life growing up with a certain crew, you spend two years with the girl you thought you would marry. Within 12 hours your left raped and bleeding as if you had been murdered because your life has just been taken away.
Months have gone by, and you know, not one single minute has my mind not dwelled on the past. It gives me head aches and makes me sick even now. I dream of going back and fixing it, so not even sleep takes it away. Do I hang out with my old friends? No....some of them had nothing to do with it but why go back. It's not I'm ashamed to go back. I could easily kick the s**t out of the ones i hate. This won't accomplish anything though. She killed me and now i feel that that life is over for me.
So where does this leave me? I have next to no friends....non my age there all minimum 7 years older. I hate the club scene, sure the girls are hot etc etc but its so irritating. And what's with the "bad boy" types getting the girls. Nobody wants violence yet they incite it, and it works. its so strange. It's sick how many girls i knew who fell into that... two for sure are addicted to cocaine and used as well, whores. others had the guys kid only to find out his only income is selling drugs and is abusive because he never wanted to be with just one girl. So it makes you wonder what's the point of even trying to accomplish anything when the one's who are utterly useless to everything get it all anyways.
Alright, this rant is really broken up. but if you made it this far i'm impressed. What did i do to fight this? how do you find woman? one's your actually in to. lets face it, if the attractions not there, at least a little bit, what is there? a friend "which is great don't get me wrong". But we lust for more than that and it's the truth. I started going to the gym. I have a bit of a belly, my arms aren't all that impressive and was tired of waking up thinking i'd rather look like this guy or that guy, "he has women come to him!" etc etc. Did i mention i'm terrible at pick ups? Don't diet they don't work. good solid excersize, i mean it's not like i don't have the time. Always wanted my eye brow pierced, did it. I took night classes in things that interested me, there not all job related. I'm back into music the way i was at 17, It's a momentary escape. Things to do are tough when your by yourself. but that's where i'm at. I wonder if any one reads this and finds themselves in the same position. I have not met any one i have been remotely into. you know the kicker, my ex took a week before she found her new man. and the ex before that same thing. you see it's so easy for women because they just have to sit back and let the contenders roll in.
I have so much to say but i'll end it for now.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I'm in my early twenty's and spent two years common law with my partner. To spare the long story we ended months ago, at the time I felt it was right but just hours after I knew it was wrong but it was too late. She slept with a number of my friends during a weekend and destroyed what felt to be everything...everything. You spend your whole life growing up with a certain crew, you spend two years with the girl you thought you would marry. Within 12 hours your left raped and bleeding as if you had been murdered because your life has just been taken away.
Months have gone by, and you know, not one single minute has my mind not dwelled on the past. It gives me head aches and makes me sick even now. I dream of going back and fixing it, so not even sleep takes it away. Do I hang out with my old friends? No....some of them had nothing to do with it but why go back. It's not I'm ashamed to go back. I could easily kick the s**t out of the ones i hate. This won't accomplish anything though. She killed me and now i feel that that life is over for me.
So where does this leave me? I have next to no friends....non my age there all minimum 7 years older. I hate the club scene, sure the girls are hot etc etc but its so irritating. And what's with the "bad boy" types getting the girls. Nobody wants violence yet they incite it, and it works. its so strange. It's sick how many girls i knew who fell into that... two for sure are addicted to cocaine and used as well, whores. others had the guys kid only to find out his only income is selling drugs and is abusive because he never wanted to be with just one girl. So it makes you wonder what's the point of even trying to accomplish anything when the one's who are utterly useless to everything get it all anyways.
Alright, this rant is really broken up. but if you made it this far i'm impressed. What did i do to fight this? how do you find woman? one's your actually in to. lets face it, if the attractions not there, at least a little bit, what is there? a friend "which is great don't get me wrong". But we lust for more than that and it's the truth. I started going to the gym. I have a bit of a belly, my arms aren't all that impressive and was tired of waking up thinking i'd rather look like this guy or that guy, "he has women come to him!" etc etc. Did i mention i'm terrible at pick ups? Don't diet they don't work. good solid excersize, i mean it's not like i don't have the time. Always wanted my eye brow pierced, did it. I took night classes in things that interested me, there not all job related. I'm back into music the way i was at 17, It's a momentary escape. Things to do are tough when your by yourself. but that's where i'm at. I wonder if any one reads this and finds themselves in the same position. I have not met any one i have been remotely into. you know the kicker, my ex took a week before she found her new man. and the ex before that same thing. you see it's so easy for women because they just have to sit back and let the contenders roll in.
I have so much to say but i'll end it for now.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
