Dating website dependency

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user 139760

Well-known member
Jun 13, 2017
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2,248's in french, you'll need a translator šŸ˜‰
A psychologist spoke of dating website in our local news, mentioning that while it's not yet become a dependency in the traditional sense of the term, it can quickly become so.
Some of it reaches some of the personal conclusions I made back in January and why I delete those I'd tried on my phone. Your soulmate can always be "the next click".
Instead of maybe concentrating on what is plainly in your face. A friend of mine is kind of in a weird place with those right now. She had a child, now 3, with a man who wasn't all that into sexual relationships and besides having one steady lover in some occasions, she uses Tinder to the point where, I feel, it's going to become a problem for her. Different man every few weeks. She's my sister's best friend and even her is getting rather annoyed about the parade of one nights her friend is getting into. She isn't quite good for your soul.

Anyway, food for thought. I found it an interesting read.
I admit I didnā€™t read the article, but I would concur that some people have a dependency on such sites. The site itself would be a symptom of the real problem being, something like; a need to be loved or desired, or a sexual addiction, or other similar psychological affliction. The sites are just a tool to achieve oneā€™s addiction.
OLD has also done away with any need for third spaces. It's getting to the point where even attempting to get dates via real life interaction is considered is inappropriate, and no I don't mean hitting on random people in the supermarket. Just attempting an in-person interaction in say a hobby group is deemed creepy, presumptuous, or unsafe for women.
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I never really got too into them, to be honest.
Basically, I stopped looking for love on the internet in my late teens.
I think that's in part because I did actually meet a woman that I had an 8 year relationship with IRL, on the internet.
By coincidence she wasn't THAT far away, and for like my 17th birthday, a friend of mine on a whim of his own accord drove me to see her. I think mostly because he needed an excuse for a long drive.
Her and I still text, albeit mostly just random inside jokes and seldomly.
Anyway, When we broke up 10 years ago, I did spend some time looking for love online again, and it gradually dawned on me that while I can meet some cool people online, it's just not practical for a relationship to start online.
Around that time yeah, Tinder was a newer thing, but I never really got into it.
The only reason I ever even tried Tinder was out of stark curiosity.
An old friend of mine met his ex on there.
He got absorbed into a local gang, left his girlfriend, sold his guitar, totally disappeared after that.
His ex and I met at a bar one night, we exchanged numbers and texted for a while. She seemed nice, although mostly the exact opposite of everything I knew he usually looked for in a woman.
She asked me out, but at that time period I wasn't really ready for a more serious relationship, and I was honest with her about it.
Anyway, I got curious because it just seemed weird to me, what had happened to him, and that the two of them were even ever together.
So, I downloaded Tinder out of curiosity.
I very quickly ended up deleting it.
The layout is so terrible that it hurts my head to even look at.
I concluded that I wasn't going to meet anyone of qualitative value on an app that looks like it was programmed in Windows 3.1 in Netscape Navigator by a 12 year old.
I've scantly heard about him through other old friends in that city years later. He's still alive, seems out of the gang now. Although, still different, not quite right in the head sotospeak.
I might read the article when I have free time, I'm currently trying my hardest not to download them OLD (no space on my phone anyway)
I wouldn't say I have a 'dependancy', I am on dating websites, but also go out most weekends to bars & clubs. In the 21st century if you want to date, you'd be an absolute fool not to advertise yourself to a literal marketplace where single people of the opposite sex are also looking for something.

It bothers me when older people speak to me, with the "Nah, don't use dating sites, nobody ever gets matches on those!", which is just blatantly untrue. Many people I know are still with their partners they met on sites, and others have just had dates from those sites and it didn't work out. Nobody else I know has been on dating apps and got zero matches, except myself.

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