dating your best friends sister?

[Porman]

I have a bit of a crush on my best friends sister, but to make it worse is that she is only just 17 and I'm 23.

I went to my friends family party and I really enjoyed her company and ended up talking to her more then my friend. It's the first time I've really spent any time with her, and didn't really plan on it, I just like being being with her.

I probably drank too much because I started flirting with her, and I kinda feel she likes me cos of how she responded. I didn't believe it to be obvious until one of her friends commented and said I was tuning her and I'd hate for people to get the wrong idea or whatnot.

But yeah is It wrong for me to like her and even if I waited until she was older to start dating or what not, could you date you mates sister? I'm sure I'd have to talk to him first before anything but at the moment I would probably die if anyone found out I had these feelings. I feel guilty for even having them.

Some advise would be nice

 

[ajdass1]

"Tuning her"? Not sure what that means exactly...

It sounds pretty serious! I think you should definitely discuss it with him. Things could change quite drastically between everyone involved if you start going out with her. If he doesn't want you going out with her, would you have to choose between them? It could get messy, which is why I think you should just be up front and direct with him about it.

From my perspective, if I had a really good friend who wanted to go out with my sister... well, if I thought they'd do right by her I would be ok with it - I mean, they don't need me making their relationship choices for them. The part I'm uncertain about is the fact that she's 17. Is she *mature* enough for you to go into a relationship with her given that you're 6 years older than she is? To me age isn't indicative of anything, it's emotional maturity that counts. If she's mature enough to be going out with you right now, then I don't see much point in waiting for an arbitrary date to pass. It's certainly not wrong for you to have these feelings and you shouldn't feel guilty about them (that's easy for me to say, lol), but I definitely think that talking about them with your friend is the right way to go.

Alternatively maybe you have another close friend who knows everyone involved and who you'd feel comfortable talking to about this and who won't tell anyone else if you don't want them to? They would be able to give you much better advice than anyone on here because they would have a full appreciation of the context.

 

[AfterDark]

I'd say no, don't do it, but then again many of my opinions aren't mainstream. This kind of scenario usually does not end well.

 

[Limlim]

Oh man, you totally gotta grab her and just give it to her hard!

 

[dannyr22]

well I have a similar situation but I am waiting for a few years for both of us to grow up more...

don't rush & make mistakes

 

[Porman]

ajdass, to tune means the same as to flirt. Must be an Australian term

I think I might hold off from telling him for the time being, not until I'm actually going to act on these feelings. My friend should be cool about it, I know it wont cost us our friendship, might be awkward for a bit but that's life I guess.
I'll just wait for now, who knows, I may stop thinking about her in a few weeks, if not, then I'll have to do the talk :S

Thanks for your help, feel much better.

 

[Tear of the Goddess]

Well, i'm kinda in the same situation with a friend. I just tell him, that's how it works. I'm not sure how he reacts tho because i also already had something with his niece

Other than that, a friend of me once had something with my sister once. I laughed at him i just told him i didn't understand why he would choose for my sister, But i didn't care we just thought some thing like oh cool were like brothers-in-law now.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Having a pretty sister myself who all my friends liked I was always of the opinion I would rather see her with someone I knew and liked personally than some stranger who might mess her about. That said she married her first boyfriend so they missed their chance!

If he sees your intentions are honourable he might be all for the idea, if she has to date someone, why not you? (If he punches you, my apologies )

 

[LoneKiller]

It's not unnatural, but it's a good way to cause friction between you and your friend. A lot of guys are very protective of their sister. Just be careful.

 

[LoneKiller]

Oh man, you totally gotta grab her and just give it to her hard!

**Reply Removed By Poster**